Ms Cabot
by CrimeSceneLover3
Summary: "Hello class, I'm Ms. Cabot and I'm your Geometry teacher." Teacher student fic with a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Rated M for later chapters and language.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: **Hey everyone, this is just a little something something I wanted to write. I don't know about you but I find teacher/student romances very hot. And I really wanted to try dedicating myself into actually writing a story so...I hope you enjoy this.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order or its characters

**Ms. Cabot**

Chapter 1

Olivia's Pov

Beep..

Beep..

Beep..

"Olivia wake up and turn that god awful alarm off before I come in there and throw that piece of shit out the window!"

I groan loudly at my mother Serena Benson yelling at me from the other room. Today is the first day of my junior year at Cardigan High and I am more than reluctant to get out of bed, or do anything for that matter.

"Olivia I am five seconds away from coming in there!" Sighing loudly I roll to the other side of my bed where my alarm clock sits on my nightstand and slap the off button.

"FINALLY!" I hear her yell. Rolling my eyes I slowly emerge from my bed stretching my sleepy limbs. The thought of even going to school makes me wanna curl into a ball and hibernate for the rest of my life.

Summer was fairly productive I kept myself busy with multiple part time jobs. I came to find that the more I wasn't home the happier I was.

My mother had begun drinking more than ever. I would come home to empty bottles everywhere and the house trashed from her random belligerent episodes. I'm just happy we haven't had any arguments lately. Whenever we argue I either end up leaving or my mom breaks down crying asking herself why she had such a mistake like me. I know she doesn't mean it but its hard to convince myself she doesn't when she says she hates me..or that she should of given me away all the time.

It hurts.

Regardless today is the first day of school after being out for three months. It isn't the fact that I have to go to school that makes me wanna crawl into a hole and die, it's the fact that I have to get up so early and endure math...god do I hate math.

This year I'll be in Geometry with Mr. Nelson. After failing Algebra my freshman year and having to take it again my sophomore year I finally passed on to Geometry. Sadly, my teacher is still Mr. Nelson since he teaches both Algebra and Geometry. I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate that man. All last year he made my life a living hell since I failed his class the year before. If it wasn't him calling my mom and telling her how much of a slacker I was, it was him telling all the freshman classes my test scores and saying I deserve to go back to elementary school. He even went as far as sending me to the elementary school for a day so I could be with my 'peers'.

"Olivia do you need a ride?" Serena asks as she peaks her head into my room. I slip my hoodie on and run my fingers through my messy bed hair. I was actually pretty surprised by how long it had gotten over the summer. It was well past my shoulders.

"No ma, Jane should be here in a few minutes but uh thanks." I give her a slight smile. I'm shocked she even asked me. Normally she'd still be asleep or well into her 3rd shot of morning vodka.

"KNOCKY KNOCK!" A loud female voice says from outside our apartment. Both my mother and I shake our heads knowing the familiar voice.

"Speaking of the devil." Serena laughs as I grab my bag from inside my closet. Looking back at my mom a small smile makes its way on my face. She seems really happy this morning and completely sober which is pretty refreshing. I love it when my mom is sober we can actually be civil with each other and communicate like normal people.

"HELLO!" Jane yells again from outside.

"Same ol' Jane huh? You'd think that girl would be less of a toddler after all these years." My mom says as we make our way to the living room.

"She wouldn't be any fun if she didn't act like a mental patient mom." I laugh as I go into the kitchen looking for a decent breakfast.

"I can hear you guys talking about me!"

Serena and I both laugh as she goes to open the door.

"Finally! I swear if you guys didn't open up soon I would have left! Your creepy neighbor guy was eyeing me up. We should really report him or something." I shake my head as I grab an apple looking at my best friend. We barely hung out at all during the summer because of my jobs and I hadn't really seen her in awhile.

Jane is...well Jane. I've known her since I was six we met at one of my mothers court hearings. Her mom just so happened to be my moms judge and she ended up sitting next to me. We began talking and causing trouble throughout the courthouse and have been partners in crime since. She has dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes and freckles all over the place. She is truly a big ball of energy, on days when I'm a zombie she snaps me out of it and puts a smile on my face.

"We can't report him until he actual does something Jane." I point out as I bite my apple.

"Well eyeing me like I'm a hot slice of home cooked apple pie should be enough to put him away." She retorts. "Maybe in your book." My mom laughs.

"Whatever! He deserves to be jail house meat. If you know what I mean.."

"Oh we know what you mean..Now lets go I don't wanna be late for hell." I say throwing my finished apple away and quickly giving my mom a kiss goodbye.

"Love you Livvy, have a good day." Serena smiles. I try not to find her mood weird but I'm not gonna lie I'm a little weirded out. It's so not like her to be all..momish.

"Love you too ma." I smile back grabbing Jane's arm leading her out.

"LOVE YOU MOM!" Jane yells at my mom blowing kisses at her. I roll my eyes pulling her out of my apartment to her car.

...

"Drop it, drop it, drop it low. Work that booty on the floor. HEY GIRL POP THAT PUS.."

"Seriously Jane!" I half laugh half yell as I turn the song.

"Seriously Liv! That was my jam! Now I'm jamless.." Jane pouts as we pull up into the parking lot of the school.

"Well you need a new jam." I state.

"No you need to get your morning stick out of your ass. I swear your such a dick in the morning." She glares at me parking her jeep.

"Oh I'm sorry for turning off your 'pussy popping music' won't happen again." I laugh making air quotes with my hands.

"Hmm it better not happen again." She smiles punching me in the arm.

We make our way into the school finding our new lockers and showing each other our schedules.

"Damn man we have Mr. Nelson for first period." Jane points out and I silently groan.

"I would say lets skip but.."

"We'd better not." I say finishing her sentence. Closing my locker the first bell rings which means we should probably start heading to class. Jane and I slowly walk to Mr. Nelson's room in silence.

When we reach our destination we both step inside and notice something or should I say someone a little unfamiliar. A blonde woman is writing something on the board with her back facing us.

The first thing that catches my attention is her calves I mean damn I haven't seen toned calves like that ever.

"Well that definitely isn't Mr. Nelson.." I breathe as Jane nods.

"Yeah no kidding unless he got a sex change or something." Jane said as we found seats near the window. The final bell rang and the blonde woman up front turned around and cleared her throat. My eyes widened immediately looking at the woman she looked no older than twenty and was breathtakingly stunning.

"Hello class, I'm Ms. Cabot and I'm your Geometry teacher."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN**: Here's an update for you. And to answer any questions...yes Elliot will be in this story. Him and a lot of familiar people will make there grand appearances next chapter. I would like to thank anyone who follow/faved/reviewed you are now family. Now onto the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or any of its characters. sadly..

Chapter 2

"I wonder what happened to Mr. Nelson?" I hear Jane whisper next to me.

Honestly I couldn't care less. Him being gone means this year won't be as bad as I was excepting. Though it does kind of intrigue me where they got the hot blonde woman from. She really doesn't strike me as a math teacher, she has more of a librarian or an English teacher feel but I'm not complaining.

"If everyone could come up front and grab a textbook we can get started on our first lesson." the blonde said tapping her fingers on the stack of books in front of her.

"Oh and make sure you sign your name on this sign out sheet and put your book number next to your name." She held up the sheet that we are suppose to sign. Jane and I got up and grabbed our books and waited to sign the paper. Ms. Cabot was showing some of the students where their book numbers were as I signed my name and the number 343 on the paper.

I caught the blonde looking at the paper from the corner of her eyes and a look of amusement strike her features.

"Olivia Benson huh? I've heard quite a bit about you."

Oh that's just great.

"Would Mr. Nelson happen to be the reason for that?" I ask her without making eye contact. I can't find the nerve to look at her. All the things Mr. Nelson has told people about me is just plain embarrassing. It's not my fault math isn't my strong suit. It never has been and most likely never will be.

"Actually no." She says pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I never had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Nelson..but I did hear about what happened to him...poor guy." That comment seemed to catch everyone's attention.

"What happened to him?" A girl asked from the back of the classroom. I'm pretty sure her name is Kim. She was in my Algebra class last year and knows all about the crap I had to put up with from Mr. Nelson.

"Well.." Ms. Cabot began as she took off her glasses. Carefully placing them on her desk.

"About a week ago Mr. Nelson was at the zoo with his daughter, when one of the workers there had forgotten to close the grizzly bear cages. I guess he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and was attacked by two of the bears. His daughter ran for help and thankfully they got there before any of his limbs were torn off. Last I heard he is in the hospital in a coma. The damage his body took put him right into comatose." Everyone looked at the blonde with shocked expressions.

That definitely wasn't what I was expecting to hear.

Wait if she's never met Mr. Nelson then how the hell has she heard about me?

"Anyway as tragic as that is we do have a lesson to get done. So lets begin."

...

"Ms. Cabot why are there shapes in math?" The blonde turned to face the boy asking her the question. It was Weston Crowley a ginger boy with a faint British accent. It looked like Ms. Cabot was trying really hard not to give the boy a 'really, you're that dumb?' Look but instead she just cocked her eyebrow and gave the ginger a simple answer.

"You need to be able to measure and find out the length of different objects. Each shape has a way of finding things such as its area or perimeter. Say if you were a carpenter or a construction worker It'd be important to know ways of measuring shapes. Each shape has a different way of solving it..take a circle for example..." She began explaining while I drowned out her voice staring out the window.

As she continued her lesson I faked taking notes by drawing various circles on my paper. I know I should probably be at least trying to understand this stuff but it just never clicks. I barely even passed last year with a low C but failing this year is not an option I have to pass or I won't be just taking one math class next year I'll be taking two.

"Alright the bell should be ringing shortly. So just make sure you do Section 1.2 and do all the vocabulary for the entire chapter. I believe there are only 20 or so words so it won't kill you to write them down." The blonde stated.

"Oh and if you ever feel your falling behind or need additional help on some of the material I get here around seven and leave around sixish. I'm also available during lunch so please if you need help do not hesitate to stop by." She finished her sentence right as the bell rang and turned her attention to some papers on her desk.

I looked towards Jane who had already written down all the vocabulary and was well over half way done with the assignment.

Typical Jane..girl may act like she doesn't have a brain half the time but is smarter than Albert Einstein.

I shook my head and closed Jane's book as she was writing.

"Come on overachiever we gotta go to our next class." She looked up and glared at me with her piercing green eyes.

"You could have at least let me finish before you so rudely closed my book. What class do you have anyway?" She asks putting her stuff into her bag and standing up.

"English 11 with Mrs. Stormy."

"Lucky, I have Chemistry with Mr. Snow. Talk about a drag." Jane said throwing her schedule at me as we exit the classroom.

"Wait Olivia do you have a second?" I hear a voice behind me say. Turning around Ms. Cabot was standing there looking at me. Jane gives me a look silently asking me if I want her to stay. Shaking my head I tell her to go.

"I'll see you at lunch Liv." She nudges my arm and leaves.

I turn my attention to Ms. Cabot, slowly making my way back into her classroom. Wondering what she wants. She probably noticed I wasn't paying any attention to her lesson.

Oops.

"Yeah. Uh what's up?" I asked slipping my hands into my pockets and kicking the ground underneath me.

"You play basketball right? I heard you almost made it to state last year but hurt your ankle the day before the game. That must of been very unfortunate."

How the hell did she know that?

"Uh yeah it was. We were so close to making it. I didn't even go to the game. I was so upset but I'm ready to make a comeback this year. Make it all the way. How'd you know about that?" I asked looking at her like I was looking at her for the first time. Leaning against her desk with a small smile gracing her clear glossed lips. Bright ocean blue eyes staring straight into my brown ones. My eyes trailed down her blouse covered chest down to her tight skirt that ended just above her knees. Damn those legs are something else. Wait...am I really checking out my teacher? I guess it's no secret I prefer women but Ms. Cabot is a little more than out of my league.

She cleared her throat giving me an amused look. Clearly noticing that I had just checked her out. Talk about embarrassing...

"I actually know your coach, Ms. Carmichael. We went to high school together and even though I never played basketball for our high school team I did help get the team to state. She wanted to introduce me to you but you didn't show up to the state qualifier game."

Well damn.

"Really? Wow..Wait how did you help them if you weren't a player?"

"Lets just say I know basketball better than the back of my hand." She laughed pointing at her hand. "No I just helped make the plays and went to every practice and game. I was practically a coach."

"Wow that's really cool. I know I should have gone to the state qualifier but I just couldn't. Especially knowing I couldn't play it really tore me apart." A sad look took over my face.

Ms. Cabot stepped towards me and put her hand on my shoulder giving me a soft smile.

"Hey, don't look so sad. You have this year AND next year. You guys can do it." Suddenly I lost myself in her eyes. My shoulder feeling like it was on fire my mouth feeling dry.

"From what Ab..I mean Ms. Carmichael has told me about you, your clearly very skilled. Gifted even. Something I didn't have and still don't." She laughed taking her hand away from my shoulder and leaning back against her desk.

"You put a basketball in my hands and nothing but trouble will come from it. But I'm sure you'll do great this year. You'll make it to state I know it." She said giving me and assuring look.

"I hope so. It's nice to know I have support. Even if its from my Geometry teacher." I teased letting out a small chuckle.

"Har har Ms. Benson, but if you think about it if you would have showed up to that game last year I wouldn't of been your teacher yet. You had my support even though we hadn't even met."

"I guess that's tru.." And like almost on cue the bell for the start of second period rang interrupting our conversation.

"Looks like I've kept you longer than I anticipated. Here let me write you a pass for your next class." She said looking for a pen.

"You don't have a class this hour?"

"Nope. I don't have another class until fourth period." the blonde answered handing me the pass.

"Oh well I guess I should get out of here before I miss too much." I say making my way towards the door.

"Yeah it was nice to finally meet you. I was disappointed when I didn't get to meet you last year."

"Well I'm nothing to get disappointed over Ms. Cabot. I'll see you around." And without waiting for a response I took my leave. Thinking about mine and the blondes conversation. It seems I would have met Ms. Cabot one way or another. Maybe she'll be an assistant coach this year? That'd really benefit the team without a doubt.

I wonder why Ms. Carmichael didn't tell me about her? I more than likely would of went if I knew she'd be having me meet someone. Especially a blonde someone with gorgeous blue eyes. She's definitely eye candy that's for sure.

Finally reaching my next class I look down at the pass in my hand before entering the room. Noticing a small drawing of a basketball on it and smile.

I guess this year won't be that bad.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN**: Hey guys! Here's another update. Oh to answer any questions Olivia is 16 and Alex has just turned 21 so yeah about a five year age gap. This is Alex's first time teaching. Them being together isn't gonna be easy lots of obstacles will stand in their way. Yes there will be some abuse from Olivia's mom in future chapters right now she's trying to sober up. Why? You'll find out soon. This story also takes place in the 2010.

Thank you to anyone who reviewed/followed/favorited and anybody reading and enjoying I really appreciate it! Now onto the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's charaters (sigh..)

Chapter 3

The rest of the morning went by agonizingly slow...

Second and third period were very much eventless. Mrs. Stormy slammed a book on my table when I started to doze off during her 'what I have planned for this year but most likely won't do' speech.

Third period was Computer Apps with Mr. Cassidy, which was pretty laid back. He wrote directions on the board and we proceeded to do them quietly on our computers. So needless say my morning was pretty boring.

Until...

"Liv! Olivia! Hey!" I heard as I was making my way to my fourth period. I immediately recognized the voice yelling my name from behind me and smiled as I turned around.

Sure enough there stood none other than Elliot Stabler.

"El? Oh my god I haven't seen you since you..uh got suspended last year.." I mumbled the last part as I pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"I know. Fucking bastards wouldn't let me come back! I was only suppose to be gone for six weeks but apparently I was a 'hazard' to everyone." He spat agitated by the memory as he returned my hug.

I shook my head and released him. I had really missed Elliot. He was someone I went to for everything no matter what it was. Elliot has always had my back.

Unfortunately, last year around January Elliot got suspended for beating the crap out of David Haden in the secluded area of our schools gym. El found David trying to sexually assault his crush and one of my good friends Kathy. When he saw what was going on he completely blacked out from the amount of rage he was feeling. A few screams and multiple punches later...security guards, teachers, students everyone and their mama was down in the gym. I didn't find out until Jane came running to tell me. I literally sprinted to that gym, but by the time I got down there they were already arresting both Elliot and David.

After about a week trial David was expelled and put in Juvenile hall for sexual harassment and attempted rape.

Elliot on the other hand was suppose to only be suspended for six weeks but ended up not coming back after the incident. I guess since not only did he make sure David wouldn't have a face anymore he also fought off teachers who were trying to pull him off and punched a security guard in the face. Oh and not to mention the holes he made in the walls of the gym. He managed to dodge an assault charge but was forced to take anger management classes for the next year.

Kathy was so shaken up afterward. She didn't come back to school for a few weeks and when she finally did return she wouldn't speak to anyone except for Jane and I. It took awhile but she's ok now I made a habit of talking on the phone with her at least three times a week during the summer.

Kathy never spoke of David.

Never spoke of what happened.

Never vented to anyone about it.

Maybe one day she will. When she's ready.

Her therapist knows bits and pieces but not the whole story. The only time she spoke about it was when she testified against David in court.

"You're not a hazard to anyone El..well unless they piss you off." I poked him in his shoulder and laughed.

"Yeah yeah. What class you heading to?"

"U.S history. It's just around the corner." I pointed to the room.

"Looks like we're heading to the same place. How was your summer by the way? You didn't really keep in touch." He asked as we walked into the class.

I instantly felt bad but then I remembered the only person I really kept in touch with was Kathy. I'd occasionally text Jane but that was about it.

"It was busy." I said simply as we took our seats. El looked at me like he was searching for something in my eyes but couldn't find it.

"It was so busy that you couldn't even reply to a text or answer your phone?" He asks clearly trying to mask his anger.

"El I.."

"I doubt it was that busy Olivia." He snapped as the bell rang.

"Hello my young disciples. I'm Mr. Munch and I'll be your U.S History teacher." The oldish gray haired man with glasses introduced himself.

Various chuckles and giggles suddenly erupted and I myself had to laugh a little at the mans name.

"Yes I know very funny. Get your laughs out now so we can get down to business."

...

"So we all know that Abraham Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth on April 14th 1865. Yes? What people don't know is that Andrew Johnson, the Vice President at the time was a part of the scheming, deceitful ploy to bring Mr. Honest Ab himself to his grave. Events and facts leading.." I listened to Mr. Munch's theory on the 16th president's assassination. Everyone seemed pretty wrapped up in his lecture.

Everyone except for Elliot.

He was staring out the window, and you could tell that he was thinking. Thinking hard.

I poked his arm and his gaze turned to me in a questioning expression.

"What's on your mind?" I whispered.

He was quiet for a while. El just sat there looking at me like he didn't know how to speak. His stare hardened and then he let out a soft sigh.

"Kathy." He said finally speaking.

"When's the last time you talked to her?"

"It's been awhile. Since I testified in court against David. She was there." Leaning closer to me as he whispered.

"About a week before the trial she showed up to my house. Asked me if she could come in. Of course I said yes. She uh thanked me for saving her."

"Is that all that happened?" I asked quietly.

"She um kissed me and left without saying anything. Then I saw her in court a week later and nothing. She acted like nothing happened." sadness and confusion were evident in his voice as he spoke.

"Mr. Stabler I hope you and Ms. Benson there are discussing your own theories on the Lincoln assassination." Elliot gave Mr. Munch an irritated look and leaned back in his seat.

I glanced at El one more time giving him a look I knew he'd understand. This look said forgive me. It said I know I should of been there for you. He smiled at me a smile that said I forgive you.

Finally the bell rang signaling the start of lunch. Elliot and I looked around for Jane.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" El and I both heard Jane's voice across the hall.

"I didn't ditch class! I was there! Ask anybody!" We crossed the hall to see Jane arguing with Principal Cragen.

Really? Already? On the first day of school?

I sighed as Elliot shook his head next to me.

"This is fucking bullshit! I was there! You can even ask Olivia!" Jane said acknowledging me.

"Young lady one more cuss word and I'll have you written up." The old man said angrily.

"Oh I'm already being written up anyway! What do I have to lose? Huh mother fu..." I quickly covered Jane's mouth.

"Fudge! Boy does she love fudge! Anyway sir what are you accusing Ms. Jane here of doing? Hmm?" El and Jane both rolled their eyes at my save. I'm pretty sure their both thinking 'Really fudge? Dumbass.'

"Your friend here skipped her Geometry class and won't fess up to it. A confidential source notified me that she wasn't there but showed up to her Chemistry class."

Confidential source? What is this a crime show?

"Sir she was there. I would know I was in that class. You can even ask Ms. Cabot." I suggested taking my hands away from Jane's mouth.

"That's a great idea Olivia. Lets go." The old man said turning to Ms. Cabot's classroom.

"Fucking asshole." Jane mumbled under her breath. El and I laughed and followed behind the principal.

...

When we entered Ms. Cabot's classroom she was sitting at her desk reading a book.

"Mr. Cragen, hi what can I do for you?" She asked looking up glancing at the principal but her gaze landing on me. Our eyes meeting and I found it crazy how no one seemed to notice.

"Hello Ms. Cabot always a pleasure. Oh we just came to ask you a question about the whereabouts of Jane here." He said gesturing towards Jane.

"She was here for my first hour. The entire time to be in fact. Here you can even look at the book sign out sheet that I had the students sign. See..her name is right here." Ms. Cabot pulled out the piece of paper and pointed to Jane's name.

Principal Cragen looked the paper over and sighed loudly.

"Looks like I'll be having a long talk with my confidential source. Sorry for taking up your time Ms. Cabot."

"What about me you as.."

"Astounding man!" Elliot covered Jane's mouth this time.

"Oh uh sorry Jane." Mr. Cragen said in a dull tone and took his leave.

I shook my head and turned my attention back to the blue eyed woman.

"Thanks so much for helping to clear that up Ms. Cabot." I said with a smile.

"It was no problem Olivia. That was stupid anyway. I even put Jane as here on the attendance."

"God what do those fuckers in the office do then? Aren't they suppose to look over all the attendance records?! Looks like some people aren't doing their damn jobs!" Jane practically yelled.

"JANE! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" I asked raising my eyebrows at her. Elliot just stood back continuing to shake his head.

"I have a nice bar of soap for you Ms. Jane if you continue with that kind of language in this building. Understand?" Ms. Cabot scolded.

Jane just gave her the death stare and stormed out of the classroom.

"And I'm the one in anger management." Elliot laughed going after Jane.

"Well isn't she just a bucket of wonderful." Ms. Cabot chuckled.

"Oh you have no idea. You should see her during basketball season."

"She plays?"

"Nope. She watches and yells the entire time." I laughed recalling various arguments she gotten into with people from the opposing team.

"She must be a handful." The blonde stated taking her glasses off.

"Yeah but she's worth it. Ill see you later Ms. Cabot, have a nice rest if the day." I turn around and make my way out somewhat quickly hearing a faint.

"You too Olivia."

Feeling my chest light on fire. Why the hell does Ms. Cabot make me feel like this? I had to get out of there...When she took her glasses off and an instant sea of blue hit my eyes I knew I couldn't be in that room anymore.

Is this just a crush?

Yeah an innocent crush on a teacher. Don't we all have one at some point? Yeah that's what it is. That's all it can be.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN**: It makes me so happy that you guys are liking this story! I'm gonna try my best to update as much as I can. I have a question for you...what do you think about me adding in Alex's Pov to the story? I think I'd be nice for you to know what's on her mind too. I've been thinking about it and I wanna know if you guys would like that. I know it's moving kinda slow right now but I promise things will pick up!

Anyway thanks again to everyone who reviewed/followed/faved it really makes me smile. You guys are wonderful.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 4

"Hey whatcha staring at old man?! Huh? Yeah that's right look away! Keep your damn eyeballs to yourself!"

"Really Jane..." I rolled my eyes as we entered my apartment. It isn't the biggest but it's just the right size for my mother and I.

"What? That old man is creepy Liv! I've gotta protect all of this." She motioned to her body and wiggled her hips.

"You aren't protecting much.." I said trying to keep a straight face.

"Jerk." She scowled.

I smirked as I threw my bag on the couch and plopped down on the soft cushions. Closing my eyes I felt the seat next to me sink as Jane sat down quietly. The afternoon had zoomed by and the first day of school was officially over.

It's hard to believe that after this year I'll be a senior on my way to adult life. I've never really been much of a kid to begin with but it'll be nice to go out on my own. Buy my own apartment, establish a career, and start my own life.

"Are you and Elliot ok?" Jane asked interrupting my thoughts.

That's a great question.

"I don't know. I guess he's just mad cause I didn't talk to him for so long." I sighed slouching down in the couch.

"I don't blame him. You barely talked to me at all over the summer too. You've been way more distant these last couple of months. Maybe he's more worried than mad." Jane stated.

As much as I hate to admit it..I have been being distant. I felt so useless after I got injured last year and it didn't help that I had to deal with my mothers drunken tirades.

Speaking of which I hope her behavior from this morning isn't just a phase. She was kind and easy going and that's my mom that's who she truly is. Not the monster she turns into when she's drunk. It was so refreshing to see her sober.

"He has nothing to be worried about." I said simply trying to drop the subject.

Jane let out a heavy sigh and looked at me with prying eyes. She gently placed a confident hand on mine and scooted closer to me on the couch.

"Liv, he does have something to worry about. You. I know things with your mom are..complicated and he knows that too. I'm pretty sure that's not the only thing causing you to be so distant and if you would just talk to us..your best friends. Then being worried wouldn't be an option." She said squeezing my hand.

"It's nothing really Jane. It's stupid.."

"Nothing is stupid when it comes to you Liv. Nothing." Her serious tone catching me off guard. I hesitated before I answered.

"Uh you remember last year when I twisted my ankle really bad and couldn't play in the qualifier game?"

She nodded her head waiting for me to continue.

"Well the team was really counting on me and I let them down. I just felt so useless you know and then it made me think that what my mom says is true. I'm useless. A waste." I said letting out my insecurities.

"Goddamnit Liv you know damn well you're not useless! You are strong, ambitious, beautiful, tough as nails, stubborn, not really a morning person, kind of a bitch sometimes but really sweet most of the time.."

I narrowed my eyes at her giving her a 'really?' look.

"Alls I'm trying to say that you're a great person Liv! You know your mom doesn't mean those things."

"Yeah, but don't they say when your drunk your more honest then when your sober?" I pushed.

"Not in all cases." Jane shrugged intertwining our fingers.

I cocked my eyebrow at her looking down at our hands in a questioning manner. It's normal for us to be touchy feely but this was different. Jane never really specifies her sexuality. She's just..Jane, but she's also my best friend and that's all she'll ever be in my eyes.

I pulled my hand away and saw Jane's features drop.

"I guess I'll try to be less distant alright? I'm sorry for worrying you. I'll work things out with Elliot later." I said suddenly feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket.

Pulling it out I got a text from Amanda Rollins.

_Hey Liv! The team is having scrimmage every day after school starting tomorrow. Practices officially start in a month so we have to get our heads in b-ball mode! _

I quickly typed a reply.

_Damn already? I'll be there tomorrow thanks for letting me know._

Amanda is a great friend I made through basketball and even though we don't really know each other on a personal basis we are very compatible on the court.

Thinking of basketball made my mind wander to Ms. Cabot. Would she be there after school tomorrow?

I hope so.

Tossing my phone on the cushion next to me I turn my attention back to Jane.

"Anyway did you finish your geometry assignment?" I asked her.

"You know it! It was actually really easy." For her maybe..

"Well hey Liv I gotta get going my mom just texted me. She's pissed I'm not home yet." Jane said looking down at her phone and standing up.

"Alright I'll walk you out." I yawned as I got up and walked to the door.

"I'll be here at 7:00 to pick you up."

"Mmkay text me later."

"I will. Bye Liv."

...

Later on I was laying on my bed attempting to do my geometry homework. Trying not to let my mind wander.

"Why are there so many different triangles?! A triangle is a triangle fuck this acute shit.." I mumbled angrily to myself.

"Did you say something Olivia?" My mom yells from the other room.

"No mom!"

Damn she has great hearing.

"Livvy dinner is ready." Serena says peaking her head into my room.

Did she just say dinner? She hasn't made dinner in months maybe even years.

"Uh ok I'll be right there." I managed to say through my shock.

I finished the problem I was on and made my way to the kitchen. It smelt like heaven.

"I made Chicken Alfredo, bread sticks and a salad. I hope you like it." She said placing the plate in front of me.

"Um uh thanks..ma can I ask you something?"

"Not until you've taken a bite if your dinner." She replied.

I picked up my fork and swirled some noodles on it and took a bite. I let out a moan as I tasted how wonderful it was.

"You like it?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah it's delicious." I say taking another bite. Completely forgetting my question for a second. I ate my entire plate and another serving in less than five minutes.

"Ahh I'm stuffed! Thanks again mom, but um why?"

"Why what sweetie?" She asked. I know she knew what I meant..

"Why all this? The dinner, offering to drive me to school, joking around with me this morning. What's going on?" I questioned not used to her acts of kindness.

"Maybe I'm trying to be a good mother Olivia. What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing is. But why now?" I asked looking at her really seeking an answer.

"I love you Olivia and it's about time I start showing you." Serena sternly stated as she slowly pulled me into a hug.

I hugged her back not prying any further. It's crazy how much a hug can mean to you.

"I love you too mom."

...

"_What you gonna do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk. Get you love drunk off my hump."_

I roll my eyes at Jane's choice of music this morning as she drives us to school. I'm only looking forward to two things today..

Playing basketball and Ms. Cabot's class.

I managed to finish my homework and write down the vocabulary last night before I went to bed.

We pulled up to the school and Jane parked in her usual spot.

"You seem peppier than normal this morning." Jane pointed out.

"Yeah I guess. Come on let's get to class!" I practically ran to Ms. Cabot's room leaving my best friend with a confused look on her face. I don't know why I'm so excited to see Ms. Cabot.

Just a harmless crush I reminded myself walking into her class.

I glanced around the room until my eyes landed on a certain blonde in the back of the class putting up some schedules.

"Morning Ms. Cabot." I said getting her attention. She looked over at me and smiled.

"Morning Olivia. You're early. Class doesn't start for another ten minutes."

"Oh yeah well um I just felt like coming here." I said trying not to sound awkward. I guess I didn't succeed because the blonde gave me a weird look.

"Are you okay Olivia?"

"Yeah never better! Anyway I was gonna ask you if you were gonna come watch the team scrimmage after school?" I wanted to say come watch me..

"Oh that is today. Hmm I'll see if I can make it. You guys are scrimmaging everyday correct?" I quickly nodded at her.

She smiled and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Clearly amused by my anxiousness.

"I'll try to be there." She said turning around and walking to her desk. My eyes lingered on her back side and I noted how good the pencil skirt made her ass look.

Oh god.

_Just a crush. Just a crush. Just a crush._


	5. Chapter 5

**AN**: I had the shittiest day today but hey I managed to still update! I hope you guys like this chapter cause I do. I didn't add the Pov thing and I gotta say some of you guys are smart with your reviews! Already guessing parts of my plot you little devils..lol I'll have to throw a curve ball in there so I can surprise you.

Anyway thank you for Reviewing/following/favoriting it makes me so happy when I see that someone has.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters ):

Chapter 5

What is wrong with me?

I've never been so uncharacteristically hyper. Maybe it's because I've been hanging around Jane so much..

I'm pretty sure Ms. Cabot thinks I'm some obsessive creep after being in her class this morning. After my 'good mood' dissipated I realized how overly eager I was acting and kept my head down the rest of the blonde's class. Catching her silent look of concern as I walked out. Ugh how embarrassing...

"Hey Liv, what are you doing after school?" Elliot asked taking a bite of his lunch and interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh I have basketball stuff. Did you wanna hangout or something?"

"Basketball already? Damn I actually was wondering if you wanted to go to Kathy's with me. She didn't show up yesterday and I haven't seen her today. I'm a little worried.." He replied poking at his sandwich.

"Hmm well I'm not gonna be done until sixish and then I have to find a way home. Why don't you just go?"

"I just thought it would be less awkward if you went with me ya know? You and Kathy are pretty close and after what happened I'm pretty sure she doesn't wanna be around anyone who reminds her of her..attack." It's rare to see El like this: vulnerable, insecure, unsure. Kathy seems to be the only person to bring those feelings out of him.

"That's true, but you're who saved her. I'm sure she wouldn't mind seeing you El." I said placing a sure hand on his shoulder and biting his sandwich.

"Excuse me I don't think I gave you permission to bite my sandwich." He fake scowled, dramatically snatching his sandwich away from me.

"Sorry but you were just sitting there poking it!" I laughed.

"It's my sandwich I can poke it as much as I damn please!"

"Hey I just think it'd appreciate not being molested." We both laughed and El threw the remainder of his sandwich in the trash. I flashed him a dirty look and he just smirked.

We got up from our lunch table and went to roam around the school. I'm happy El and I can get our friendship back on track as effortlessly as we are.

"Oh did you hear about the three guys that got suspended yesterday?" El asked me.

"No, who in there right mind gets suspended on the first day of school?"

"That's what I was saying. Anyway they kept on saying 'suggestive' things to Ms. Cabot and she did a great job at ignoring them until one talked about fucking her on her desk. That's where she put her foot down." I was completely shocked. Some people seriously don't have any filters. God I can only imagine how Ms. Cabot felt. Fucking idiots doing that to her on her first day..lucky I wasn't there.

"That's ridiculous! That all happened during one of her classes?"

"Yep, she kept teaching afterwords like nothing even happened too. Talk about being professional." He said giving her, her props.

I guess that's bound to happen. She's one of the only good looking teachers under fifty around here. Boys are gonna comment on it..some more than others.

The rest of lunch was spent on the top of a flight of stairs talking about various topics with El.

Joking, laughing, smiling.

That lunch was much needed.

...

Before getting dressed in my basketball

gear for scrimmaging I sent El a quick text.

_GO TO KATHY'S!_

Throwing my phone in my bag I threw on a t-shirt, some basketball shorts and my basketball shoes. I wondered if Ms. Cabot was coming but quickly pushed my thoughts of her out the window. I had to focus on basketball. No distractions.

"Liv hurry up we're about to start!" I heard Amanda yell from outside the locker room and I quickly put my hair in a pony tail and chucked my bag in my gym locker. Making sure my laces were tied tight I ran out to the gym.

"About damn time Benson!" Ms. Carmichael yelled chucking a basketball at me.

I caught it and gave Ms. Carmichael a challenging look.

"Uh ugh Benson save that look for after. Then I can whoop your ass at some one on one." She smirked and took the ball back from me.

"Alright these scrimmages are for you guys to get your basketball minds back on your shoulders. Split into two teams of five and get at it!" With that we broke into our teams.

My team had me, Amanda, Melinda, Maura and Angie.

The other team had Casey, Kim, Sasha, Angela and Sonya.

We all got ready in the middle of the court with Melinda jumping ball for our side and Kim jumping for the other. Ms. Carmichael ready with the ball in her hand and whistle in her mouth raised the ball into the air.

My eyes were glued to that ball as Ms. Carmichael blew her whistle and threw the ball into the air.

Melinda ended up tipping the ball into Amanda's hands and we started on offense.

Scrimmage had begun.

...

After the first game was over we all went and sat in the bleachers. Sweaty and out of breath we all took drinks of our waters. The game was pretty close but our team ended up winning by three points.

"Nice shooting Liv!" Amanda said patting my shoulder as she sat next to me.

"Thanks but did you not see yourself out there?! You made four 3's in a row!" Amanda gave a smug grin.

"What can I say? I was on fire." I laughed pushing her with my side.

As our five minute break was coming to an end the doors to the gym opened and a certain blonde walked in looking exhausted. I saw Ms. Carmichael get up from where she was siting to greet a tired looking Ms. Cabot. I wanted to smile at her but she looked like she was miserable. So instead I got up from the bleachers with the rest of the girls and prepared for our second game.

Ms. Carmichael came running over to start the game repeating what she did before throwing the ball into the air. This time we started on defense.

During the game I caught Ms. Cabot watching me our eyes making contact and she gave me a warm smile. I was about to return her smile when I felt a ball being thrown at me and stolen by Sasha.

"What was that Benson?! Get your head out of your ass and into this game!" Ms. Carmichael yelled from her seat next to Ms. Cabot.

I felt embarrassed for a few seconds but was quickly back into the game. I was playing defense on Sonya when I stole the ball and made a fast break to the basket making a lay up.

"That a girl!" Ms. Carmichael encouraged.

We ended up losing that game by two but damn did we play hard.

Ms. Carmichael blew her whistle and called us over to where her and Ms. Cabot were siting.

"Good job today girls! You're not as bad as I was expecting you to be..." As I listened to her talk I caught Ms. Cabot glancing at me and suddenly felt a surge of insecurity was over me. I probably looked like someone hit me with a car right now.

"You all remember Ms. Cabot from the qualifier game last year. Well almost all of you.." Ms. Carmichael stated as the blonde waved at all of us.

"Anyway get your asses home and get some rest be back here tomorrow same time!" And with that the girls made their way to the locker room all saying 'good job' to each other.

"Benson! You, me, one on one right now!" Ms. Carmichael yelled standing up and grabbing the ball.

"You were serious?! Alright lets go Carmichael!"

"How many times have I told you to call me Abbie when we aren't at practice Liv?" Ms. Carmichael said turning into her cool friend mode.

"Yeah yeah whatever lets go Abbie."

"Alex could you fill up my water bottle for me?" Alex? So that's her first name..Alex.

"Sure, Olivia do you need yours filled up too?" The blonde asked me holding up my bottle.

"Yes please Ms. Cabot.." Should I call her Alex? She is still my teacher technically even if we aren't in class.

"Lighten up Liv! You aren't in a class room right now. Call her Alex." Abbie said slapping the ball.

"Whatever are we gonna play or what?"

"Oh we're gonna play! First to 21 wins!"

...

I ended up beating Ms. Carmichael by five points

"Looks like you've lost your luster Abs." I teased the older woman.

"Whatever Liv. Lets see how you play when you hit my age!"

"Um Ab you're only 22.." Alex said suppressing a laugh as she handed us our water bottles.

"Thanks M..Alex." The blonde grinned at me. I felt my heart flutter but I tried to ignore it.

"Alright well it's already past seven. We should be getting out of here." Ms Carmichael stated.

Damn it was already past seven?

"Yeah I'll see you tomorrow Abbie. Uh you too Alex have a nice night you two." I gave Alex a shy smile waving bye to them and turned to the locker room.

I decided to keep my basketball gear on and just go and grab my bag. Checking my phone I saw I had two new messages..

_I went! It went really well thanks for convincing me to go. Details tomorrow at lunch. _

I smiled at my best friends message sending him a quick reply telling him way to go and to defiantly fill me in tomorrow.

The second message was from Jane.

_Hey my mom dragged me to some job thing. Can't come and get you from basketball ): _

I sighed..great now I have to walk five miles to get home. At least I'll get more of a work out.

...

It would rain the one day I have to walk home. It didn't help that it was getting dark outside but whatever as long as I make it home I'll be fine.

The rain seemed to pour down harder and harder and the thunder seemed to get louder and louder.

"This wasn't in the fucking forecast.." I mumbled angrily to myself."

I had already walked about a mile when I noticed a car creeping behind me.

Great I'm being stalked. Just great.

I glanced behind me and glared at the car until someone stepped out. All I saw at first was toned pale legs and my eyebrows raised as I noticed who it was.

"Ms. Cabot?" I said questionably.

She stepped into view from around her car and her features were painted with concern.

"Olivia you do realize you're walking in the pouring rain right?"

"I didn't have a ride. I don't live to far so it's not that bad." I shrugged even though I was freezing in my wet clothes.

"Well let me give you a ride. You can't just keep walking in the rain. Come on."

"It's seriously ok Ms. Cabot I can manage."

"Olivia if you don't get in this car right now I will double your work load in class. Now come on." She wouldn't...

"Fine." I gave up getting into the passenger seat of her car.

"Where to?" She asked as she got in. I told her my address and she raised her eyebrows in shock.

"I thought you said it wasn't that far?"

"It isn't. If you would just let me walk I'd be fine." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Has anyone ever told you how stubborn you are?" The blonde started driving towards our destination. I rolled my eyes and she shook her head.

The drive was fairly quiet. She had some music playing that I didn't recognize and was nothing like what Jane listens too. As she drove I couldn't help but stare at her. She caught me looking a few times and smiled and then I remembered how miserable she looked earlier.

"Uh Ms. Cabot were you ok earlier? You looked pretty upset..." She glanced into my eyes but also tried keeping her gaze on the road.

"Olivia you can call me Alex. I'm not teaching you geometry right now.." She said deflecting my question.

"Okay well Alex. What was wrong earlier? Uh if you don't mind me asking.." She let out a puff of air and and turned on her windshield wipers.

"I had gotten a call and let's just say the person on the other end doesn't like what I'm doing with my life." She answered avoiding any specifics.

"They don't like that you're a geometry teacher?" I asked and she nodded her head. It got quiet again and I looked at her. You could tell that whoever it was is an important person in Alex's life.

"Well I think that's stupid. They should be happy you have a good job. It's not like you're a stripper or anything." I stated and she let out a hardy laugh.

"Well how do you know I'm not a stripper Ms. Benson? It could a hobby of mine." She joked and I smiled from ear to ear. The blonde beauty was actually joking with me. The drive continued and I could tell we were close.

"I'm happy you came today by the way." I said shyly.

"I'm happy I came too. You can really play. Even though I distracted you for a second." She grinned poking my arm and I felt my heart flutter. Damn heart butterfly's go away...

"Well looks like we're here." The blonde said stopping the car, looking me in the eyes.

"Thanks for the ride. Even though it was unnecessary.." She playfully pushed my arm.

"It wasn't unnecessary Liv. If you ever need anything I'm here for you ok?" I blushed at her use of my nickname and nodded.

"Thanks Alex. Well I'll see you tomorrow." I opened the car door and hopped out.

"See you Olivia. Have a great night. Oh and do your homework." She winked and drove away.

I couldn't believe any of the events that just took place within the last 30minutes. Alex Cabot had given me a ride home, joked around with me, called me Liv and even opened up about her personal life a little bit. My arm was still tingling from when she touched me.

God I hate this fucking crush but I can't help it. Maybe it'll pass.

I made my way up to my apartment. Opening the door with a permanent smile on my face when..

"Where the hell have you been?!"


	6. Chapter 6

**AN**: Alright so I had this chapter written already but my stupid self deleted it on accident. So I had to rewrite it, but I'm kinda happy I rewrote it. I wasn't liking the original chapter and I like how this turned out. You guys are gonna love the next chapter we learn a lot about Alex's past so stay tuned.

As always thank you for reviewing/following/favoriting you guys sure do know how to put a smile on my face.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 6

"_Where the hell have you been?!"_

Many people don't know about my mother's past.

Many people don't understand why she does some of the things she does.

Many just don't understand a damn thing.

Serena Benson was raped one night almost seventeen years ago.

About a week and a half later she found out she was pregnant with me.

She didn't know what to do and practically lost herself during her pregnancy. She only ate for me, she only took care of herself for me and did everything she could to make sure I'd have a decent life when I came into this world.

When she have birth to me she had the biggest smile on her face. Serena whispered into my infant head.

"You are my light through all this darkness."

As years went by she picked up on drinking.

One drink wasn't enough.

Two drinks made her feel lighter.

Three drinks made her feel numb, and by the time she was on her fifth or sixth she would forget.

By that fifth or sixth drink she wasn't herself. My mother would yell at the walls, curse the heavens and throw the most insane tantrums.

Yet she still took care of me.

By the time I was seven she started blaming me for her pain.

So much for being her light.

She rarely physically abused me, but she always emotionally tore me down.

There would be times where my mother would decide to be sober, and those were always the best times. About a week into sobriety things would turn upside down.

You see my mother has never dealt with the fact she was raped. Never got help and rarely spoke to anyone about it.

A rape victim always finds someone to blame. If they don't blame themselves they blame the one thing the reminds them of their rape, and I was that one thing for my mother.

"I was at basketball scrimmage mom." I said plainly as I made my way to my room.

"Oh, why didn't you tell me?" She breathed.

Did she just ask why I didn't tell her where I was? That's new.

"I never had to, or you didn't really care before."

"Olivia didn't we have this discussion already? I'm trying to be a better mother and to be completely honest I'm not sure how to do that." She put her fingers underneath my chin and made me look into her eyes.

"But what I do know is I'll find a way to be the mom you deserve." She said with a determined voice.

"I'm just not used to you being like this is all.."

"I'm sorry for acting how I have all these years. Just give me a chance alright?"

I've given her so many chances before. How do I know this is legitimate?

"Now you didn't walk home did you?" She asked glancing down at my wet shoes.

"No I got a ride from a...friend." I guess I could call Alex a friend. Right?

"Good cause I'm not comfortable with you walking when it's dark out. Especially in the rain, god knows what could have happened. I don't want you to have to live with the same pain as I have." she said pulling me into a hug.

"Now dinner is in the microwave. I'll be in my room if you need me. Love you Livvy." She said as she turned to her room.

"Love you too mom.."

After I ate the chicken parmesan my mom made I made my way to my room. I still had some homework to do and I already know it's gonna take me awhile to do my geometry.

As I walked by Serena's room I heard a faint sniffling noise.

Was she crying?

Putting my ear to the door I listened and what I heard broke my heart a little.

My mom was crying her eyes out, which she rarely ever did unless she was pissed.

The best thing to do is give her, her space. Right?

I just wish I could some how ease her pain.

...

_A few weeks later_

Today is the last day of scrimmage and then basketball will officially start. Practice will be everyday after school sorta like scrimmage except practice will be much more intense. Ms. Carmichael doesn't play around when it comes to practice.

Alex even said she'll be helping Abbie with the practices and making new plays for the team.

Speaking of the blonde beauty..

Everyday after scrimmage she would ask me if I needed a ride and of course at first I'd decline, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

Psh and she calls me stubborn.

In these past three and a half weeks we've become quiet comfortable with each other.

In class she'd be Ms. Cabot, but everywhere else she was Alex.

We don't really know much about each others personal lives. Most of our conversations are about basketball, school and whatever we joke about occasionally.

Yet I feel like she knows me better than anyone.

It's like she reads me like a book.

When I'm confused about something, or bothered whenever I'm feeling anything other than my normal Olivia-y self she knows.

In class she doesn't treat me any differently than the rest of the students. Which I'm thankful for cause the last thing I need is people to think I'm a teachers pet.

I find myself thinking about her more and more often. Whenever I'm stressed I just picture those brilliant blue eyes and nothing else matters.

I never did find out who her 'mystery caller' was but they do call her often, and every time she hangs up she wears a very sad look on her face.

"Wooohoo earth to Olivia." Elliot waved his hand in front of my face trying to pull me out of my thoughts. I just blinked a few times and he raised a curious eyebrow.

"You alright? You've been spacey all morning."

"I'm fine. Just been thinking a lot is all." I shrugged taking a bite of my burrito as I tried to ignore El's look of concern.

Thankfully his concern turned into complete adoration as Kathy made her way to our lunch table. I swear if we were in a cartoon Elliot's eyes would be large animated hearts right now.

You see Elliot and Kathy started dating a few days after I convinced him to go see her. Since then I haven't seen two people more in love.

"Hey you guys." Kathy greeted as she took a seat next to El, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Hey beautiful." he gently placed his fingers under her chin and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

"Ew guys really?" I faked gagged.

"Whatever Liv, I can finally say I'm with the woman that completes me." El said intertwining their fingers.

"Yeah good for you.." I said dully.

"Wait, didn't you and Casey have a thing going last year Liv? What happened to that?"

Oh great Kathy would bring that up.

"We were in a purely physical relationship Kath. We haven't done anything since a little before summer break." I poked at my burrito.

"Why'd you guys stop?"

"I don't know we just stopped." I lied.

Last year around this time I went to one of Fin's notorious parties.

Lets just say Casey made a move on me and we started doing stuff since then.

It started with us just making out occasionally, then a few weeks in we started getting more physical. Sex was inevitable we were getting closer and closer and one night while I was spending the night it just happened.

Casey was the perfect distraction I needed in my life.

A few days before summer break Casey had told me she wanted to pursue a relationship. I told her I just didn't feel that way and I ended up breaking her heart without knowing I even had it.

Casey was my first and maybe I should of given her a chance.

"Isn't she on the basketball team? You guys don't talk at all?"

"She is and we talk but I haven't had a full on conversation with her in awhile." I said really wanting to change the subject.

"You should change that! Today after scrimmage sit her down and talk to her." Kathy suggested.

"That wouldn't be a good idea.."

"Well is there anyone who at least catches your eye?"

Yeah but not only is she my teacher she's way out of my league.

"Nope." I said popping my P.

"Not even..Jane?" They both looked at me curiously.

"No, not even Jane. She's my friend that's all."

"Hmm you should know Jane is...OW Kath what was that for?!" Kathy kicked him before he could finish his sentence.

"I don't know what your talking about El." Kathy said innocently as the bell rang.

"Looks like that's the bell..I'll uh see you guys later." I said dismissing myself.

That was just weird.

...

Scrimmage was going well. We were already well into our second game after losing our first one by five.

I've really been trying to keep my focus on basketball, but that's pretty hard to do with a gorgeous blonde cheering you on.

I was playing hard defense on Casey when I made the stupid mistake of grabbing for the ball and she went around me making an easy lay up.

"Fuck.." I mumbled to myself.

"It's alright Liv! Get out there and play some offense!" Alex yelled encouragingly from the side.

Amanda had the ball at the top of the key as I L-cut out from the box. She passed me the ball and Casey just so happened to be playing her unstoppable defense on me.

"Good luck getting past me hotshot." Casey egged me on.

"Oh I'm gonna get past you. You can count on that Novak."

I started to get a nice rhythm going as I dribbled and decided it was time to make my move.

I faked to the left and quickly went to the right as I made a shot from around the free throw line.

The game was close but we ended up winning by two.

"Great job tonight ladies. Get ready for practice next week I promise you I won't be going easy on you. Get some rest you're gonna need it." Ms. Carmichael said clapping her hands together.

"Have a good weekend!" Abbie waved us off.

"Great job Liv. I'll see you next week." Amanda yelled as she made her way into the locker room.

"See you!"

I walked over to the bleachers where Alex was standing with my bag around her shoulder. I couldn't help but smile warmly at her.

"You did good tonight Liv, even though you could have taken it to the hole more.." She grinned at me as she handed me my bag.

"Whatever." I playfully pushed her shoulder as I sat down to take my basketball shoes off.

"You know I'm just kidding, but you did seem pretty unfocused out there. Something on your mind?"

"It's nothing Alex."

The blonde sat down next to me and put her hand on my knee.

"It's not nothing and I wish you would just open up to me instead of leaving me here to guess." I looked down at her hand on my knee then up into her blue orbs. In her eyes you could tell she was truly concerned.

Suddenly her phone rang and she gave me an apologetic look as she answered it.

"I really don't want to hear what you have you say right now..I understand that. No. Oh really? Look can we talk about this later? Ok bye." She hung up with an annoyed tone.

"Everything alright?" I asked as I stood up placing my bag around my shoulder.

"It's not particularly good, but it's fine. You ready to go?" I nodded and we walked to her car in silence.

We made our way to her blue Audi cabriolet. I still can't believe how she could of afforded this car with the wage of a teacher.

"You know you leave me guessing a lot too.." I stated out of nowhere.

She looked over at me from the drivers side with a questioning look. Her questioning look quickly turned into realization as she stared into my brown orbs.

I was expecting her to look away but she didn't.

Instead she stared into my eyes as if she was trying to figure something out.

Trying to find answers.

"Would you like to go get something to eat?" She asked abruptly.

I raised my eyebrows at her questioningly.

"If you want of course. I just really want to talk to you. Maybe open up a little." She said turning her head so she was staring out the window.

"Yeah sure. Lets go." I placed my hand on top of hers. This was the first time I touched her like this and I noticed her breath hitch.

She squeezed my hand gently before pulling away and starting the car.

And then it hit me.

I'm about to have dinner with Alex.

She wants to open up to me.

Does that mean she wants me to open up to her too?

What am I about to get myself into?


	7. Chapter 7

**AN**: I actually managed to update woo! Really these last couple of days have been rather hectic...I feel like I skipped a lot of Alex and Olivia's bonding time in the last chapter by skipping a few weeks but lets just say their friendship came quiet naturally. I really like this chapter and hope you like it too!

Thanks again to anyone who Reviewed/Follwed/Favorited I love you, I love you, I love you. Now onto the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 7

"So is there anywhere in particular that you want to go?" Alex asked as she pulled out of the school parking lot.

"There's this pizza place a little past my apartment. They have the best cheese pizza in town."

"Hmm maybe we should go somewhere we're less likely to be spotted." I nodded as I looked down at my hands. The fact that she's my teacher always seems to slip my mind.

"Well we can just grab some street food and talk in here." I suggested.

"That doesn't sound like a bad idea."

A few minutes later she parked her car across the street from a hot dog stand.

"Do you want anything on your hot dog?" She asked while she grabbed her wallet.

"Just some ketchup and mustard."

"Alright, I'll be back in a sec."

I watched her walk off to the hot dog stand as I sat in the passenger side of her car trying to digest all that was going on at the moment...and then it hit me.

Alex could get in trouble because of this.

She could get in trouble because of me.

How could I have thought that being friends with a teacher was remotely alright in the first place? More importantly, how could I let myself develop feelings for one?

I put my head in my hands and silently cursed myself.

I should just ask her to take me home when she gets back so she doesn't have to worry about risking anything because of me anymore.

God how could I let this happen?

Maybe it's because Alex is so much more than a teacher to me. She isn't dull and hasn't for one second striked me as a one. It just isn't her.

I felt a wave of confusion settle inside me as my mind kept speeding up. Thought after thought making it's way inside my head.

Suddenly I heard a familiar ringtone go off. The same ringtone that would make Alex groan before reluctantly answering it.

It was her mystery caller.

I glanced down at the screen and tilted my head to the side with sudden curiosity.

The name on the screen read 'Mama Cabot'.

"Mama Cabot?" I questioned out loud.

I instantly wondered what Alex's relationship with her parents was like. She seemed like she was raised well, but she also seems like she had to grow up pretty fast.

Kinda like me.

I looked out the car window and saw her walking back to the car.

She looked so tired yet so full of light. Like she could still take on the world while dealing with whatever demons she was fighting off.

In that moment of seeing the blonde beauty make her way to the car I realized I wanted to know everything possible about her.

What it's like to really know Alex Cabot.

"Hey, sorry it took so long. The lady in front of me couldn't make up her mind. Here." Alex said getting in the car and handing me my hot dog.

"You weren't gone too long." I shrugged accepting the hot dog from her, our fingers gently brushing each other.

We sat silently as we ate our food. Neither of us really knowing what to say. Which is understandable, both of us have different things on our minds causing us to lose ourselves in thought.

After awhile I finally gained the confidence to say something.

"You gotta call while you were gone." I said watching her features. She glanced at me as she crumpled up her trash and put her hand out for mine. I kept my gaze on her as I handed her my trash. I watched as she threw it away in a plastic bag in the backseat.

The blonde hadn't looked at her phone, but instead gave me a challenging look.

"It's your mother isn't it? She's the one always giving you crap isn't she?" I asked trying not to sound to prodding.

She looked at me for a second studying my face before looking out the window. Not saying anything. I ran my fingers through my hair irritatedly.

She's the one who wanted to talk, so why isn't she saying anything?

"Dammit Alex say something or just take me home! I know I've only been a burden to you anyway so just take me home." Her face instantly hardened.

"What makes you think you're a burden to me in any way Olivia?" She snapped at me, her piercing blue eyes meeting mine.

"Driving me around, risking your job for me, both very unnecessary if you ask me."

"One I offered to drive you home. I like driving you home. Two.." She paused shaking her head as she slouched back in her seat.

She was quiet for awhile until she realized.

"I have been risking my job haven't I? Giving you rides for almost the past month, developing a..friendship with you." She hesitated looking down at her hands as she continued.

"I've never been this reckless, so unprofessional..but I can't help but be drawn to you Olivia." She admitted, her gaze not leaving her hands.

Drawn to me? Alex was drawn to me?

"I'm..drawn to you too Alex." I stated feeling my heart start racing in my chest.

Her eyes met mine again.

I instantly felt myself drown in her blue orbs.

She searched my eyes for a moment and let out a soft sigh.

"My mother and I have never seen eye to eye.." She began. "Ever since I was little she has been telling me how I'm to live my life. I'm not even suppose to be a teacher it was my way of rebelling against her." I nodded taking in what she was telling me.

"She calls constantly trying to convince me to go back home and live out the life she wants for me. Not the one I want."

"What do you want?" I asked.

"To tell you the truth Liv..I don't know what I want." She admitted in a quiet voice.

"I know my mother wants me to finish law school and to marry some random man she finds suitable. Which is why I rebelled in the first place. I was engaged to a man twice my age. I had to put my foot down." She said as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I ignored it whoever it was could wait.

"Law school huh? How'd you manage to become a geometry teacher?"

"I was already taking a few classes to qualify as a teacher, but what I had wasn't enough so I asked my father to pull a few strings." She said giving a teethy grin.

"My dad has always been more compassionate than my mother. He's the cool parent in my case."

"Damn you're family sounds pretty powerful."

"Yeah very. My father and uncle are at the head of the food chain in New York. They run every law firm in the state, and my uncle is a judge. My mom just stands off to the side playing the perfect wife role."

"Hmm that explains how you afforded this car." She gave me an amused look.

"What you've never seen a teacher with an Audi?"

"Well that brings me back to my part-time stripper theory.." We both laughed and I swear her laugh is slowly becoming music to my ears.

"Well now that you know what's been on my mind. What's been on yours Ms. Benson?" Alex asked playfully poking my arm.

"Nothing important." I answered evasively.

"Come on Olivia it's only fair you tell me." She pushed and I shook my head.

What did she want me to tell her about my mom? About the fact my father is a rapist that I live with insecurities and a hole on my chest everyday. That I have a stupid crush on her? That I wish I could fix things with Casey and find out why Jane has been acting different lately? No I don't need to burden her with any of that. She has her own problems.

"Can I just go home now? I'm pretty tired and I'm sure my mom is wondering where I am." I said as she gave me a concerned look.

The drive to my apartment was quiet. I wish things wouldn't of turned like this after having such a breakthrough with her tonight. I'm just happy she dropped the subject but I'm sure she'll bring it up again. Soon.

As she pulled up outside my apartment she grabbed my hand and looked at me with the most serious look I've seen strike her features.

"Liv you can tell me anything. I'm here for you." She stated sincerely. I grinned at her as I squeezed her hand.

"I know..but I also know you could get in trouble for..well all of this"

"Then I guess I'm a bad teacher." She said in a tone that made me squirm in my seat.

"Have a goodnight Liv." She said squeezing my hand one more time before letting go.

"You too Alex. See you Monday." I opened the car door and was about to step out when the blonde said.

"Oh and make sure you do your homework Ms. Benson wouldn't want you falling behind!" I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah yeah whatever you say Ms. Cabot." She grinned and handed me my gym bag from her backseat.

"See you later Liv." She winked before she drove off.

God this woman is gonna be the death of me.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I am SO sorry for not updating! Things got super busy with classes starting and everything. I also got a little lazy..but I'll try to update as much as I can. I'll most likely just write longer chapters and try to update at least once or twice a week. If I disappear for awhile please don't be afraid to PM me and tell me to get off my lazy ass lol

Anyway! Here's chapter 8 sorry again for the wait!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 8

When I entered my apartment I found my mom fast asleep on the couch.

"Gosh it's only 9:30." I mumbled as I shook her gently.

"Ma wake up, go get in bed. We both know if you sleep on this couch your back will be killing you tomorrow. Come on." She grunted a little in response and got up slowly. Kissing my cheek and patting my shoulder, she made her way to her bedroom without saying a word.

I shook my head and felt my phone vibrate again in my pocket. I quirked my eyebrow with curiosity, and answered it.

"Hey Amanda, What's up? Is everything ok?" I asked with a concerned voice. Amanda rarely ever calls me we just text here and there.

"Oh hey Liv, yeah everything's ok, but I was wonderin' if you were busy tomorrow? The grils from Lauden High challenged us to some street ball and I was hoping you'd come and help us out?"

"Sure, I don't mind kicking some Lauden ass. Didn't they beat us in the qualifier last year?"

"Yea they swamped us! I guess we were all off our game since you weren't there.." I felt a pang of guilt instantly hit me, but reminded myself that I can redeem myself this year.

"Then I am most definitely playing. Is Ms. Carmichael gonna be there?"

"Yeah I called her earlier after I tried calling you the first time."

"Sorry I didn't answer I was..a little preoccupied." Which wasn't a complete lie.

"Oh you we preoccupied hmm?" She asked with an amused tone. I gulped hard.

After realizing the type of trouble Alex could get in for hanging out with me it'd be best to just keep it on the down low.

"Yeah preoccupied..Anyway where are we playing tomorrow?"

"Oh the court by that one pizza place. We played there last year. Be there around twelve."

"Alright I'll be there. See you then."

"Mhmm see you."

I sighed as I plopped down in the couch and threw my phone to the side. Thoughts of tonight flooding my head.

Why can't Alex be younger?

Then being around her would be easy.

No worries, no complications, just easy.

Who am I kidding? Nothing is ever easy.

I'd still have these feelings for her and after finding out that she was engaged I know for a fact she's' straight.

How could she make me feel this way whens she's straight?

Every touch sets me on fire.

Every look makes my mind go blank.

The way she knows me without actually knowing me is completely fascinating.

I wont let her in yet, she won't give up.

Something she said earlier that really caught my attention was that she was drawn to me. I wonder what she ment by that.

What about me could possibly draw Alex towards me?

My phone started buzzing next to me interrupting my Alex filled thoughts.

Hey Liv! Are you bust tomorrow? I thought we could have a bestie day since we haven't talked much lately. –Jane

"Well It's not my fault we haven't been talking.." I mumbled to myself.

Jane has been acting weird ever since we had that talk a few weeks ago.

I wonder what her deal is?

I'm actually busy tomorrow; we're playing Lauden over by the pizza place if you want to come.

I'll be there. Her response was unusually curt.

Why is everything so confusing right now?

….

"Liv you made it! Wait you didn't walk did you?" Amanda greeted me with a hug.

"Yeah I walked but it wasn't that far don't worry." She shook her head.

"You should of texted me or something! I would of picked ya up."

"It's alright. Really don't worry. Now when are we starting?"

"In a few minutes. We're waiting on a few girls to get here." I nodded and looked around the court. There's something about this little run down court that gives me a good feeling. Looking towards the seats I could see Jane sitting alone on her phone. It didn't surprise me that she actually came. She's always been supportive when it came to me playing basketball.

"Benson! You ready to kick some ass?" Abbie came over and patted my shoulder.

"You know it Abbie." I smiled and walked over to the bench to put on my basketball shoes.

"You're in for a surprise Liv. Make sure you look over at the bench a few times while your playing." Ms. Carmichael winked as I gave her a confused look. She just smiled and walked away.

I could feel a pair of eyes on me as I looked up from the bench. A girl from the Lauden High side was glaring at me.

"Already making enemies Livvy." A voice behind me said.

"Well that happens to be my specialty lately huh Casey?" She gave me a hard look when I said her name.

"I guess it is." She said turning away.

Everything with Casey makes me feel so guilty.

God she probably thinks I'm the biggest ass on the planet.

"Casey wait!" she stopped but didn't turn around.

I stood up and gulped. I had to make things right between us. How are we gonna have a productive season with her hating my guts?

"I'm..sorry for you know everything. I just want things to be ok between us." I stammered.

She was quiet for a minute before she turned and looked at me.

"You know things will never be alright between us Liv, but apology accepted. Now lets go play some ball." She turned away again and walked to the center of the court.

I followed behind her and noticed the Lauden girl who was glaring at me was still staring at me. It looked like she was picturing different ways of killing me but I just ignored her.

The referee had the ball in his hands and Amanda was jumping ball for us and a tall lanky girl was jumping for Lauden.

"Lets go Liv! Get that ball! Beat these bitches!" Jane yelled loudly from the side.

Same ol' Jane…

The referee blew his whistle and threw the ball into the air and the game began.

They got the ball from the tip and coincidentally I was stuck guarding the glaring chick.

Great…I thought.

"Lets go Liv!" I heard a familiar voice yell and I looked over to the bleachers and saw non other than Alex.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN**: Sorry if the length of that last chapter was disappointing to some of you. Hopefully this quick update makes it up to you.

Something to think about before you begin reading this chapter is everyone is unaware of how close Olivia and Alex have gotten. No one knows about Alex giving her rides or their budding friendship/relationship. And the street ball they're playing is somewhat organized. When I was younger I'd play similar ball and one of the girls dads would be a ref but there weren't really any rules.

Anyway writing this story really makes me miss playing basketball..which is in a few months! I cant wait I feel so lazy when I'm not playing.

Thanks to anyone who reviewed/faved/followed! You really motivate me and I love you guys.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 9

"What was that Benson!" I heard Ms. Carmichael yell when glaring girl shot a three in my face. I ripped my eyes away from Alex, and got my head back in the game.

Casey had the ball at the top of the key ready to pass. Amanda and I exchanged a look as she faked an L cut and I popped out from the box as Casey threw the ball to me. I was thankful glaring girl wasn't guarding me as I went for the hoop. Pushing through three of the other teams girls agreesively and making a lay up.

"Yeah that's right Liv! You see that! That's my best friend! Go Liv woooo!" I heard Jane cheering and a few of the girls on the court shoot her a dirty look.

"Way to take it to the hole!" Alex cheered and I forced myself not to look over at her.

I had to stay focused.

By the time it was half time we were winning by five, and I could tell tension was running high on the Lauden side. Glaring girl looked even more pissed than when the game started and a few of the girls were arguing.

"God what kind of team argues like that?" Amanda shook her head.

"And they're the ones who won the championship last year pshh. We got that trophy in the bag this year." Casey stated taking a sip of her water.

"Ok ladies don't start celebrating yet you still have half of this game to finish. All I have to say is keep your intensity up. Don't let them steal your ball. And on their offense they've been relying on number 5 so try and stop her alright? I'm not coaching I'm just suggesting. Man I wish I could play with you guys, but noo I'm too old." Abbie stated irritatedly.

I love that Abbie isn't just our coach but she's also one of us. She's all of our friend and I'm pretty sure we're all silently wishing Abbie could play with us too.

The game resumed and Lauden was on offense. Just like Ms. Carmichael said they were relying on number 5 to shoot it from around the free throw line.

Sasha quickly went and guarded number 5 playing heavy defense, making their offense useless.

Amanda and I trapped glaring girl in the corner and she was forced to throw it out. Casey quickly grabbed the ball and in a fast break made a lay up.

"Are you kidding me!? Timeout!" Glaring girl yelled.

Everyone gave her a weird look and went to their benches.

"God that girl has issues." Kim stated and we all nodded in agreement.

"Well we're up by ten so it looks like we'll be winning this one girls." Amanda said proudly next to me.

"Too bad it doesn't count. We still have to play them during regular season." Casey brought up and they all groaned.

I didn't say anything.

I had a weird feeling something was gonna happen. I looked over at the other team watching them argue.

"You guys are so fucking useless!" Glaring girl yelled.

"Really well if you wouldn't call the same offense every time then maybe we'd be doing better." Another girl countered.

She had a point.

Suddenly I felt a soft hand touch my sweaty shoulder sending chills down my spine. That had to be my blonde beauty. She's the only one capable of making me feel like that.

"You're doing really good out there Olivia. I can only imagine how well you'll do during the season." She said with a warm smile as I looked up at her.

"Alex, thanks I had no idea you were gonna be here." I stood up and returned her smile.

"Well Abbie called me last night when I got home and told me. We were suppose to hang out but she'd rather come and watch you guys play. So I thought since I wasn't busy I'd come and cheer you..guys on." She hesitated slightly.

"HEY! You call this a time out! More like another half time! What's the hold up you bitches scared to get beat?!" Oh god..really Jane? Really?

"Is she always like that?" Alex questioned.

"Sadly yes..but you get used to it. I try to drown her out during games. I appreciate her enthusiasm but it can be a bit much at times." I stated watching the referee make his way over to Jane. He was most likely asking her to keep it down or leave if she kept up with her loud bantering.

Alex sat down on the bleacher behind my bench and sighed.

"She is something else. I'm just happy she doesn't act like that during my class."

"Oh now that would be entertaining. Way better than boring math. What made you want to be a math teacher anyway?" I asked curiously.

"I guess it's just something I've always been good at, and it was the only position available that my dad could get his hands on for me.." She answered honestly.

"And for the record Ms. Benson it wouldn't be boring if you actually payed attention. Not that fake paying attention crap you try to pull." Well damn.

"Alright ladies! Lets go sorry about the wait." The ref blew his whistle.

"Go have fun." The blonde smiled and playfully pushed me froward. I stuck my tongue out at her before turning around and making my way back on the court.

I didn't notice Casey watching mine and Alex's interaction with a quirked eyebrow.

The game started up again and we had the ball. I threw a quick chest pass to Sasha who held the ball to her side and scanned the court. The Lauden side had really upped their defense. Glaring girl whose number was 11 was guarding Sasha and tipped the ball from her hands. Casey with the speed of a cheetah quickly guarded her.

And that's when that weird feeling came back.

I watched as glaring girl and Casey stared each other down both flashing challenging looks to each other.

Glaring girl started getting a rhythm with her dribbling and tried to pass Casey, but she was unsuccessful. Casey quickly grabbed the ball from her hands and bounce passed it to Kim who in the end made a nice lay up.

With only four minutes left in the game and us up by twelve we in fact had this game in the bag.

The crowd cheered and I noticed glaring girls face scrunch up with rage. She directed her rage filled eyes toward Casey and pushed her aggressively. Casey stumbled back a little and confusion flashed her features.

"You think you're all high and mighty don't cha?!"

"Oh hell no kick that bitches ass Casey! Don't let her just push you like that!" Jane yelled getting up from her seat.

"Stay put Jane!" I shouted and redirected my attention to the altercation in front of me.

"What's your problem?" Casey got in glaring girls face.

Great, just great.

"Hey ladies just chill out, no need to end this game on a sour note." Amanda stepped froward.

"Stay out of this blondie!" Glaring girl yelled her eyes never leaving Casey's.

I decided to step froward placing my hand on Casey's arm.

"Come on Case she's not worth it." She looked at my hand and sighed before looking back at glaring girl.

"Next time keep your fucking hands to yourself. Understand?" She said calmly with a hint of authority.

"What? You afraid of a fight? No I know what it is you're a fucking dike just like that bitch huh?" She pointed at me and I felt Casey tense.

How the hell did this girl know that? Well I guess it's no secret, but still.

Then it hit me.

The back of her Jersey read Nelson.

Like Mr. Nelson.

This girl is related to Mr. Nelson.

Mr. Nelson made my life hell because of my sexual orientation.

Now I'm happy he got attacked by a bear.

"Excuse me? You wanna repeat that?" Casey tried pulling out of my grip so she could charge glaring girl.

"Casey stop!" I tugged her arm.

"No Liv let her kick her ass! Casey can take her!" Jane yelled and that's about when my patience broke.

"Shut up Jane!" I shouted as I saw Alex making her way over too Jane.

Thank god maybe she'll stay quiet now.

"Casey come on." I pulled her arm and she obliged.

"You don't know how lucky you are." Casey spat anger evident in her voice.

"Fuck you! Stupid dikes." And that's when everything sped up.

Casey broke away from my grip and punched glaring girl in the face.

Again and again.

It took me, the ref, Abbie, Alex, Amanda and a few random people from the crowd to get Casey off of her.

All of us had a hand on Casey who in return pushed us all off her aggressively, and walked over to the bench. She was clearly enraged and needed time to cool down.

Glaring girl on the other hand was out cold with blood gushing out of her face.

"Good riddance." A girl from Lauden said walking away.

"Yeah maybe she won't be such a bitch now." Another one said.

Jeez what kind of team is this?!

Abbie and the ref helped out glaring girl, checking how bad her face was and trying to wake her up.

Alex walked over to Casey and sat down next to her.

I suddenly felt a little awkward seeing them together.

I watched as Alex's lips moved and Casey loosened up. Whatever Alex was saying was clearly calming her down.

"So much for finishing the game." Amanda said picking up the ball.

"Yeah, damn I've never seen Casey get like that." Kim said and we all looked over to where her and Alex were sitting.

"It looks like whatever Ms. Cabot is saying is cooling her off." Sasha pointed out.

I watched them closely and noticed a smile make it's way on Casey's face.

"What a game you guys! Talk about exciting!" Jane came running over.

"You yelling wasn't helping Jane." I grimaced and she frowned.

"That's the same thing Cabot said to me..."

"Oh my god you guys what if that girl presses charges on Casey?!" Kim brought up.

"She can say it was self-defense. That girl put hands on her first." I assured.

Groaning filled our ears as we looked over at glaring girl. Abbie was cleaning her face and putting bandages over her injuries. Casey busted open her lip, her eyebrow, her cheek and her eye was swollen shut.

"Damn Case did a number on her!" Jane said proudly as I shook my head.

"Alright everyone you can go home sorry about all this." The ref said.

I decided to walk over to where Casey and Alex were sitting and they both looked up at me.

Awkward.

"Uh you ok Case?" I asked as Alex got up and touched my shoulder before walking over to Abbie and Glaring girl.

"Yeah I'm fine. Thanks." Her answer was curt and she didn't look at me. I sat down next to her and sighed.

"Case.."

"What Olivia? Seriously what? Why do you even care huh? You didn't give a fuck about me a few months ago, don't act like you care now alright." She interrupted me.

"I.."

"You what? You know for the longest I thought I needed you Liv, but I don't. I know now that I don't need you. God I'm so fucking dumb I should of just walked away instead of defending you just right now. Yeah I defended you Olivia." Tears streamed down her face as she looked up at me.

"You didn't need to do that." I wiped away a few of her tears. She grabbed my wrists and held my hands to her cheeks.

"Yes I did Olivia. I really did."

We stayed like that for awhile and I noticed everyone looking at us.

Jane looked like she wanted to come over here and rip Casey away from me.

Our teammates just watched and Alex's expression was unreadable.

"Casey.."

"Stop just let me enjoy this ok? I've missed you." She admitted as I cleared my throat.

"Case.."

"I saw how you were looking at Cabot by the way. Don't worry I won't tell. Just let me enjoy this."

"Nothing is going on between us."

"Oh but you wish there was don't you?" She said putting my hands down. I didn't know what to say.

"Don't worry she's cool. Did you know Ms. Carmichael got in a fight on the court when she was a sophmore. She beat up the entire team and was suspended for the whole season. That's what Cabot was telling me before you came over."

"I didn't know that."

"Yeah. Look Liv I'm sorry I just have a lot of pent up emotions in me right now. I know we most likely will never happen again and I guess that's only for the best right? Just don't go getting hurt ok. A relationship with Cabot can really cause a volcano to erupt in both your lives. And like I said don't worry your secret is safe with me alright." She assured me.

"Thanks but it's really nothing Case seriously."

"Same old Olivia. Never willing to risk anything. You know what I always loved about you? You put everyone else before yourself. Even in bed you'd always make sure I was satisfied first. Which was why I was so willing to give you everything. Show you that someone cared for you. I guess that ended up biting me in the ass but it was worth it." She said standing up and pulling me up with her.

"You diserve to be happy Liv don't forget that." And with that Casey pulled me in and kissed me.

It was a quick yet passion filled kiss. Her lips were how I remembered them soft yet aggressive. Wanting.

She pulled away and whispered in my ear.

"Maybe that'll spark a little jealously in her hmm."

She grabbed her bag and walked away leaving me confused and conflicted.

Everyone just saw that.

Alex just saw that.

**Hopefully the next update will be on Wednesday.**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN**: Wow that last chapter got a ton of reviews! I actually broke the 100 review mark so that's pretty cool! It's nice to know you guys actually enjoy my little story here. Maybe there will be 100 chapters(;

So I've been writing these chapters during my free period and I find it so awkward to write around people...is that just me? I had to really hustle to get this update on time but it was worth it I didn't want to disappoint you guys.

Anyway this chapter is dedicated to dragonsprit for being my 100th reviewer!

Thanks to anyone who reviewed/followed/faved! This is my longest chapter so far so enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 10

Frozen.

That's what I was.

I couldn't even bring myself to move.

I was frozen.

"Liv what was that?!" A very agitated Jane approached me. I didn't look up at her I just sat down on the bleachers and stared at my shoes. I couldn't even risk looking up and seeing Alex.

What's going through her mind right now?

Did she even see the kiss?

Of course she did..everyone did.

"Liv, hey snap out of it!" Jane grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look at her. I looked into her green eyes and saw emotions I wasn't expecting.

Jealousy? Hurt? Yearning even?

I heard her let out a shaky breath as she sat down next to me.

"Are you and Casey seeing each other again?" She asked slowly fiddling with her fingers as I finally urged myself to speak.

"No, we were never actually together Jane. It was just.."

"Yeah, yeah I know. Why did she kiss you?" That's a great question.

Why did Casey kiss me? She did say she missed me, but then she said maybe it would make Alex jealous.

Yeah right.

It's evident Casey still has feelings for me, but I think she knows we'll never be.

I'm such a jerk and I don't even mean to be. I just wish I could make it up to Casey somehow, but how do I do that without leading her on?

Maybe I should talk to Elliot about all this. He'll know what to say. He always does.

"I honestly don't kno.."

"Does she still have feelings for you?" She cut me off.

"What does it even matter Jane huh? Why are you acting like this?" I questioned. It was about time I got some answers about her strange behavior.

"Why does it matter Liv? Really? Are you fucking blind? What more can I do to make you realize huh?" She stood up angrily looking at me as if I was the stupidest human being on earth.

"Jane what are you tal.."

"Seriously?! Liv I should be the one kissing you! I should be the one holding your hand! I should be the one who puts a smile on your beautiful face! I should be the one you want not Casey!" She admitted. My eyes widened with shock at her confession. I didn't know what to say.

Jane has been my friend for so long. I don't even think it's possible for me to have feelings for her.

"I uh don't want Casey like that." I tried but Jane looked even more bewildered.

"Did you not just hear what I said Olivia? Do I need to spell it out in giant fucking rainbow colors for you?" I'm guessing she saw my helpless expression and sat back down next to me. We sat in silence for awhile both trying to figure out what to say next.

"I like you Liv..more than I should.." She said quietly not looking up at me.

"How long have you felt this way?" I turned to face her but she was staring off into the distance.

"For awhile. I thought I could ignore how I felt about you but the longer I tried the more I wanted you."

"Can I be completely honest with you right now Jane?" She looked up at me and nodded.

"You've been my friend for the longest and I don't know how to say this without screwing everything up, but Jane.."

"You don't feel the same way.." She said looking into my eyes. The amount of pain I saw in her green orbs was slowly killing me.

"I'm sorry, I really am." She stood up and faced away from me. I wanted to stand up and give her a hug but she turned back around before I could.

"You're telling me you feel absolutely nothing for me huh? Not even a little bit that we could go off of? Liv we could try! I could make you happy, I know I can!" She continued on, not giving up.

"Jane stop, I love you like a sister. That's it alright? Please just stop.." I looked at her with pleading eyes and she looked as if she was about to cry.

"Damn so this is what it feels like to have your heart broken by lady killer Olivia Benson. I understand what Casey went through all too well now." She laughed sadly.

Lady killer?

"Jane don't ruin our friendship because of this."

"What you just want me to ignore how I feel? Act like non of this ever happened? News flash Liv I'm in love with you! I can't just pretend to be fine and dandy!" She had her hands in her hair and was holding back every tear that threatened her eyes. I didn't ask for any of this..I didn't want to lose Jane and I sure as hell didn't want to hurt her.

"Jane.." I stood up. I wanted to make this right. I had to before Jane ended up hating me like Casey had.

"You know what forget it. I'll see you around Olivia." And with that she stormed away.

"Jane!" I called after her, but she just kept walking.

How could she just walk away?

Walk away from our friendship, walk away from me?

And what made matters worse was I had no clue what I could of done differently. What was I just suppose to say? 'Hey I like you too! Lets be together forever!'

No I couldn't.

I couldn't lie to Jane and I couldn't do to her what I did to Casey. I have to try to make things right before I lose Jane forever. I sat back down and buried my head in my lap thinking about what I should do. When I heard the one voice I was most afraid of right now.

"Hey Liv, is everything alright?" Alex asked as she sat down next to me putting a gentle hand on my back. Her hand cooled my nerves significantly.

I looked up, but not at her and forced myself to speak.

"Uh yeah everything's fine Alex thanks for the concern." I lied and I'm pretty sure she knew it. I felt her eyes on me, and I felt like running for my life. The silence was killing me, and I had no clue what to do.

God why is everything so complicated?

Maybe I just suck at having relationships..as it is love is more than foreign to me.

"Liv you can talk to me. You should know by now I'm not gonna judge you. There's nothing wrong with loving whoever you want. I'm slowly coming to terms with that myself.." she whispered the last bit of her sentence, and I looked up into her blue eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked and she just shook her head.

"It's nothing. Anyway I had no idea you and Ms. Novak were an um..item. It's good you two have each other, but Jane was pretty upset when she walked away. What was that about?"

Was I really gonna bother her with all this?

"It's..complicated. I'd rather not talk about it." I answered looking over at Glaring girl who was finally getting up. I caught her looking at me, at least she wasn't glaring.

"You'd rather not talk about a lot of things. I wish you would just talk to me." The blonde said sadly.

Great another person I've upset today.

I had to say something that would get Alex off my back. I had to find away to push myself as far as possible from her so I could no longer complicate her life. She has enough going on..the last thing she needs is to worry about me.

"I shouldn't even be talking to you. I shouldn't be doing anything with you. You're my teacher and that's it." I said quietly and more to myself than her. I felt my heart clench in my chest and I swear it felt like I was having a heart attack.

I heard her swallow and saw her clench her fist in her lap.

"You really mean that Liv?" Our eyes met and I glanced down at her mouth.

Why can't she be the one kissing me?

I knew my answer would change everything but this is what's best for Alex she can't just be all buddy buddy with me. She's jeperodizing her job and maybe she'd save money on gas not having to drive me around.

Most of all she won't have to deal with me. This crush has really clouded my judgement. I shouldn't have even let myself get close to her like this.

"Yeah I mean it." She stared into my eyes before standing up and clearing her throat.

"Well, if that's how you feel..I'll see you Monday Ms. Benson." I felt my heart drop when she didn't call me Liv, but this is what's best right?

I watched her wave goodbye to Ms. Carmichael and make her way to the parking lot. I stared in the direction she left for awhile.

Damn what did I just do?

I stood up and grabbed my bag.

"Looks like I'll be walking home." I mumbled out loud.

"Benson! Come here!" Abbie yelled from across the court where she was standing next to glaring girl. I walked over to them and gave Abbie a trying smile.

"Is there something you'd like to say Ms. Nelson?" Abbie gestured to glaring her who in return rolled her eye. I took a moment to look at her very swollen yellow and purple eye.

Damn Casey kicked her ass.

"Sorry for being a bitch to you and your girlfriend." She mumbled not looking at me.

"Right.." I said looking to Abbie who was looking at glaring girl with angry eyes. Not even correcting her when she called Casey my girlfriend. This chick isn't even worth correcting.

"Really that's the best you can do? You'd think after getting beat up you'd be less bitchy. I guess you can't cure them all." Abbie shrugged and looked at me.

"Anyway you aright Olivia?" I nodded and Abbie gave me an understanding smile.

"Women are just as complicating as men. Which is why I have four dogs and three birdies to keep me company." I let out a genuine laugh and glaring girl rolled her eye again.

"What's your deal?" I questioned and glaring girl just made a nasally noise.

"What's my deal? My deal is that you're a disgrace to this species. What you are is fucking disgusting." I took a deep breath and controlled the anger that welled inside me.

"How do you even know that? No how do you even know me huh?"

"My father is Mr. Nelson. I'm Kelly Nelson god can dikes not put two and two together or what?" This girl is really testing my patience, I guess like father like daughter.

"Look next time you call me out of my fucking name you're gonna get two black eyes understand?" she nodded furiously. Clearly not wanting her face to look even more messed up.

"Wait why don't you go to my school? Your father did teach there and all."

"He didn't want me going to school with dik..I mean uh lesbians. So he sent me to Lauden which happens to be a Catholic school so being gay isn't really an option there." She suddenly looked very sad and deep in thought.

Hmm maybe this girl isn't that bad underneath all that bitchyness.

"I really am sorry about what I said earlier by the way. Your girl really beat my ass." Kelly let out a defeated laugh.

"She's not my girl, but yeah she did do a number on you."

"Oh she's not? I swear I saw her kiss you..or maybe she gave me a concussion or something." she said scratching the back of her head.

"Nope that was a complete misunderstanding." I assured.

"Hmm you guys would make a decent couple tho. Who was that blonde lady? She was pretty nice."

"Oh that was Ms. Cabot she's.." A goddess, gorgeous, wonderful, caring, mysterious, loving, passionate, beautiful woman...

"She's my coaches friend and the geometry teacher at my school."

"Oh she's the lady who replaced my dad?"

"Mhmm How is he by the way?" I asked curiously.

"He's still in a coma and honestly things are so much more peaceful around my house now. No offense to my dad but he's pretty fucking psycho." She admitted.

"I bet, he made my life hell."

"Oh I know he did. When he came home he wouldn't shut up about you, and he would give me these long lectures on gay people and why they are disgusting and disgraceful.."

"Is that why you hate gay people? Cause your dad does?"

"No but I was raised to..he didn't really pay much attention to me unless he was telling me not to be gay." She frowned.

I gave her an understanding look. I knew what she was feeling all too well.

Growing up there were times when my mom only acknowledged me when she was telling me how useless I was.

"Well I guess I should get going it was nice talking to you..Olivia." She tried to smile but ended up wincing in pain as she walked away.

"Bye Kelly." I waved.

"She actually called you Olivia? I was totally expecting to hear dike in that goodbye." Abbie said picking up her belongings and walking back over to me.

"Aw she's not that bad Abbie. She's just.."

"Rough around the edges? Hmm perhaps she's Jane's long lost twin?" She laughed but I just shook my head.

"Very funny. I'll see you Monday Ms. Carmichael."

"Bye Benson!" We waved goodbye and I started my journey home.

About half way throw my walk I reached into my gym bag and grabbed my phone.

"Huh three missed calls?" I said aloud.

The calls ended up being from Elliot and I contemplated on whether I should call him back or just text him.

I'll call him.

The phone ringed for a few seconds before he answered.

"Liv it's about damn time! What the hell did you say to Jane? She called me sobbing."

Oh great Jane called Elliot.

"I didn't say anything I shouldn't have. What all did she tell you?"

"Oh just that Casey KISSED you. I thought you said you weren't going to get back with her?" Well it looks like Jane didn't tell him everything.

"El I need you to listen to me ok? Don't treat me like the bad guy right now alright?" I pleaded.

"Ok just tell me what happened."

I told him everything from Kelly to Casey kicking her ass to Casey kissing me and to Jane flipping out.

"Liv you can't just expect her to be ok can you? You rejected her. That would crush anybody."

"I know I'm just trying to figure out how I let her develop feelings like that."

"That's the thing Liv that's something you can't control. No matter how hard you try."

"I don't know how I didn't realize she felt like this sooner.." I said quietly.

"I tried telling you the other day but Kathy stopped me."

"Oh that's why you guys were acting so weird!" He let out a laugh and I smiled.

"Well I'm about to reach my house El. I'll see you Monday."

"Yeah I'll see you and don't think about all this too much ok? Things will turn out alright in the end." He assured me.

"Thanks El, you're the best."

"No problem Liv. Bye."

"Bye El." Talking to him helped, but if only he knew about Alex. Then what would he say?

Everything will be alright. Right?

...

Monday morning rolled around quicker than I wanted after having a lazy Sunday to myself. I tried not to think about Saturday, but it still found it's way into my head.

Dreams of Alex filled me the night before, and left me regretting what I said to her. I didn't wan't Alex to just be my teacher I wanted her to be my friend.

I wanted her more than that, but what's the chances of that? I'd be lucky if she even looked at me today.

I was currently getting a ride to school from my mom who was oblivious to my situation and running late.

"Damnit do you get in trouble if you're tardy Olivia?" She asked speeding her way through traffic.

"It'll be fine mom. I'm just happy you're able to drive me."

"Oh honey I'm your mother it's my job to drive you places. I should just give you this car..how's that sound?" My eyes widened with excitement and shock.

"You're kidding? You'd really give me the car? What about you ma?" She shrugged.

"I'll just get a new car. I have enough money saved up."

I can't believe she's actually considering giving me the car. Damn maybe today won't be as bad as I thought if its starting out like this.

"We're here alright we'll talk about it more later. Have a good day and I'll see you when you get home. Love you."

"Love you too ma. See you!" I said shutting the car door. I had only a few minutes to get to class so I got on the good foot.

The bell rang right when I entered Alex's classroom. I noticed Jane sitting on the other side of the room next to Sasha and I sighed.

Is this really how she's gonna be?

I looked toward Ms. Cabot and felt my heart beat uncontrollably.

She was sitting at her desk writing something down with her glasses at her nose. Her blonde hair was voluminous and I noticed her wearing a bit more make up than usual.

Damn she's breathtaking..

I made my way to my seat and Alex finally stood up with a stack of papers in her hands.

"Alright class today we will be doing review worksheets they'll all be do on Friday so get em done." She placed each stack of sheets on the front table and then sat back down at her desk.

She seemed very glum today and I wondered what was wrong with the blonde beauty.

Whoever upset her could burn in the deepest pit of hell.

I went up to get my worksheets and felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked up just as Alex looked back down at whatever paper she was writing on.

She had been looking at me.

Maybe I didn't blow it with Alex and she'll want to pretend Saturday never happened?

But what good would that do for her? Her and I having anymore than student/teacher would jeperodize her career.

I went back to my seat and worked on my worksheets quietly for the rest of the period. Glancing up at Alex every so often and catching her glancing back at me a few times.

The bell rang and as I went to leave the classroom I heard Alex clear her throat.

"Wait Ms. Benson would you stay behind for a sec I need to speak with you.."

**Next update should be Saturday!**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN**: Update time! Man I really need to stop setting days for me to update..I almost didn't update today, but here I am with an update for you my amazing readers.

Did I mention I love you guys? Cause I do.

Thanks to anyone who reviewed/followed/faved!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 11

"_Wait Ms. Benson would you stay behind for a sec I need to speak with you.."_

I slowly approached her desk uncertain about what she wanted to talk to me about.

"Yes, Ms. Cabot?" I asked with a glint of smartassness.

She raised an eyebrow at me as she took off her glasses and placed them on her desk, fixing a few stray hairs behind her ear.

I watched in awe but quickly refocused myself, making sure I was looking her in the eyes. The last thing I wanted was for her to notice me ogling her.

"I wanted to talk to you about the test you took last week on Supplements and Complements of angles. You scored a very low D. Did you not understand the material?" She asked professionally.

Well that was the last thing I was expecting her to want to talk about.

"I actually didn't really get it.." I answered honestly taking a seat at one of the desks in the front.

"Why didn't you ask for help if you didn't understand I could of helped you. I am your teacher after all." I noticed her tone turn a little hurt but she cleared her throat and was clearly trying to keep our conversation professional.

"Honestly I thought I could figure it out on my own." She stood up and made her way to the desk I was sitting at, letting out a sigh.

"You do a lot of things on your own don't you Olivia?" She quirked her eyebrow at me and sat at the edge of my desk looking at me intently.

Here we go.

"What are you getting at Ms. Cabot?" I shot a challenging look at her and she leaned in close to my face. Her nose just a few inches from mine.

Her breath intoxicating.

I had never seen Alex this close up before. I took a moment to etch every detail of her face into my head.

"You know exactly what I'm getting at Liv." She said softly and I felt my heart flutter at her use of my nickname.

I didn't know what to say.

No. More like my mouth couldn't move.

Her face was so close to mine I just wished she'd close the distance between us.

Make me hers and her mine.

But I know that'll never happen. That is just a far fantasy that I have to keep to myself.

Just like everything else.

I looked into her blue orbs and absentmindedly dug my nails into my thighs holding myself back. She was waiting for me to say something, but I just couldn't.

I guess she noticed my lack of brain function and sighed pulling away from me..disappointedly?

Why is she disappointed?

I thought for a moment about everything Alex had ever said to me.

And that's when I realized..Alex actually cherished the friendship we had been building over the past few weeks, and us not being friends was hurting her.

"I'm sorry.." I whispered looking down at the red scratch marks I had just put on my thighs.

She looked at me, studying my face before saying something.

"Sorry for what? Cause I bet it's not what I'd like an apology for." She stated taking a seat back at her desk.

"I'm sorry for lying to you." Her eyes widened with shock it was obvious I apologized for the right thing.

"Now tell me the truth." It felt like we were at war.

The truth? She wants the truth?

Honestly I just want her in my life.

Lover or friend I don't care.

"Can you just forget everything I said Saturday?" I asked standing up and leaning forward on her desk looking into her gorgeous eyes.

She leaned in a little and smiled.

"I think I can disregard the lies but everything else I'd like to remember if you don't mind." She said flirtatiously and I gulped hard.

"I don't mind at all." I smiled and looked up at the clock.

I really didn't want to go to my second period I just wanted to spend the rest of the hour with Alex.

"You know you have to go to class right?" She said reading my mind.

Damn how does she do that?

"Yeah, yeah I know Alex." She smiled a teethy grin when I used her first name.

"You still need a ride after practice tonight right?" She asked and I nodded.

Then I remembered the conversation my mother and I had this morning about getting the car. Alex wouldn't have to drive me anywhere...and to say I wasn't gonna miss it would be a lie.

But this is for the best right? It's definitely less risky for both of us.

I guess I'll tell her about that later.

I noticed Alex's phone buzz suddenly and her eyes scan over the screen. Her face seemed to drop as she sent a quick reply to whoever it was.

After she responded to the text she looked up at me and noticed my curious expression.

"It's my mother..she's coming down to visit sometime this week and she isn't giving me a specific date. So she's just going to pop up out of the blue uninvited." She shook her head.

"Sounds like she's gonna be handful." I mused and she let out a chuckle.

"A handful is an understatement but yes. Anyway I noticed you and Jane weren't talking today. Is everything alright between you two? I know on Saturday something happened but I'm not sure what." I fiddled with a pen on her desk pretending I didn't hear her question.

"Liv? Come on don't shut me out." She pleaded.

"She's just mad at me.." I sighed doodling on the top if her teacher's calendar that was on her desk.

"What happened?" I looked up at her and saw a glint of hope in her ocean blue eyes. She must really want me to open up to her..

"Can we talk about something else?"

Deflected.

"Seriously Liv? I actually thought you'd open up to me this time around."

"You thought wrong Al." I said setting her pen back down and running my fingers through my hair. She looked at me curiously tilting her head to the side slightly.

"I wonder what's in that head of yours...I promise one day I'll find a way in." Her tone was determined yet her expression soft.

For some reason I had no doubt that one day I'd tell her everything, but it would take a lot.

Only time will tell I guess.

"Good luck." I said simply and she stared into my brown orbs.

"Well I should probably write you a pass so you can get to class." The blonde pulled out her her stack of passes and grabbed the pen I had been using to doodle with to fill it out.

"And Liv seriously though if you need help with any assignments or anything please ask me or a classmate or something. Your grades are really important. Especially if you plan on staying in basketball. Ok?" She said seriously handing me my pass.

"Alright, I'll ask for help next time. But do I really need to go to class? There's only thirty minutes left anyway."

"Go to class Liv. I'll see you later." She said getting up and pushing me towards the door. I gave her my best pouting face and she just laughed.

"As adorable that face might be you still aren't staying. Go." She gave me one final push.

"Fine. See you later Al." I looked back at her and waved bye.

"Oh by the way, you look really nice today Ms. Cabot." I winked before quickly turning the corner. I briefly caught her expression before leaving and saw a slight blush grace her beautiful cheeks and I felt like a champion.

Maybe I've been worrying too much when it comes to Alex. I'll still be cautious but what's wrong with having a little fun?

...

The rest of the morning zoomed by and it was lunchtime. I sat at a table with Elliot and Kathy listening to them argue about something.

"Really? Well it wouldn't have been that awkward if you had been listening to me Elliot!" I raised my eyebrow.

What the hell are they talking about?

"How was I suppose to know that's what you wanted? You're acting like I've done that before!" Elliot shot back at her and I got even more confused.

"Seriously? It's easy! You'll get better at it don't worry baby." She kissed his cheek and I got a slight feeling I knew what they were talking about.

"Oh my gosh ew you guys you had to talk about that in front of me? Gross save that for when I'm not around pleaseee." I shuddered. They both looked gave me a confused look.

"Talk about what Liv? We're talking about him getting better at cooking. Cause he barely knows how to even function an oven." Elliot rolled his eyes.

"I know how to use an oven Kath."

"Oh then why when I went to check dinner the other night the food wasn't cooking? I tried to figure out why and noticed El here, put the oven on self clean mode..with food in there! I'd say you still have a little bit of learning to do babe." I laughed a hardy laugh and El shot me a dirty look.

"Jeez El how hard is it to use an oven?" Both Kathy and I died of laughter.

"Whatever! At least I can use the microwave." He said proudly and we just kept laughing. Kathy wiped a few stray funny tears from her eyes and looked back to me.

"What did you think we were talking about hmm Liv?"

"Um uh nothing.." I said poking around at my salad trying to hide my embarrassed expression. El was looking at me trying to figure out what I had been thinking.

Ha only Alex can do that.

"Oh my gosh you thought we were taking about sex weren't you Liv?!"

Or not.

"Seriously Liv? Get your head out of the gutter! I happen to know what I'm doing when it comes to that." He stated smugly.

"Not with me you don't. We haven't even had sex yet." Kathy pointed out.

Too much information.

"I would love to figure it out with you.." He said romantically to her and I felt a little uncomfortable. Kathy gave him a loving look scooting closer to him as he wrapped his arms around her. They shared a tender kiss and Kathy ran her fingers down his cheek.

At least they're relationship is going strong.

I picked at my salad trying to imagine what a kiss with Alex would be like. Her lips on mine..her tongue..her scent..

I shook my head trying to fight my thoughts.

"Hey Liv." I guess I was so caught up thinking that I didn't notice Casey come over.

"Uh hey Casey. What's up?" I really wasn't expecting her to want to talk to me after Saturday.

"I just wanted to come talk to you. Um you want to go somewhere else?" She asked looking over at Elliot and Kathy who were totally engulfed in each other at the moment.

"Yeah let's leave these love birds alone." I stood up and threw the rest of my salad away.

At first we walked in silence and I couldn't help but think about all the times we've walked these halls together. Not as a couple but at least together.

All the things I'd whispered in her ear.

All the stolen kisses.

And I acted like non of it ever mattered.

That' probably hurt Casey the most. There was no amount of apologizes I owed to her.

They were infinite.

All that aside I just wanted things to be normal for us.

"Did you ever find out what that bitches deal was on Saturday?" She asked breaking the silence.

"Yeah, but she wasn't that bad after I talked to her. It was just a front. I actually don't really understand why she decided to cause all that drama."

"You didn't ask her?" I shook my head and told her how Mr. Nelson was her dad and how he felt about gay people and how he forced his beliefs on her.

"Hmm maybe she's confused about her sexuality?" That made sense.

"Yeah most people don't come out till after high school anyway. She still has time to figure out who she is." Casey nodded and we went and sat on the edge of some stairs.

"What about Jane? She's been extra bitchy today." She pointed out.

"Did she say anything to you?"

"Nope but the looks she's been giving me suggest she wants to rip my head off. And I don't recall doing anything for her to want to do that to me so.." I sighed.

"She saw you kiss me." She shrugged as she rested her elbows on the step behind her.

"So it's not like she..oh my gosh she doesn't like you does she?!" I nodded and Casey let out a laugh.

"Damn Liv you need to find a way to make yourself less appealing."

"I don't even know how you guys find me at all appealing."

"What? You're kidding? Liv believe it or not you are a beautiful individual inside and out. That makes you very appealing Oh and you're really hot when you're playing basketball so that's also very appealing." I shook my head.

"Whatever you say.."

"God Liv you need to realize how amazing you are. You have no reason not to believe you are any less." She leaned froward and looked at me intently.

"Casey would you believe me if I said I was incapable of being with somebody?

"No I wouldn't believe you. Liv just because you feel you wouldn't benefit another person in a relationship doesn't mean you wouldn't." She pointed out.

"But.."

"But nothing Liv. God I wish your mom wouldn't have treated you like crap so you'd have more confidence in yourself. How has she been lately anyway?"

"She's better." I said simply wishing Casey had no idea about my mom.

A few weeks into our "relationship" Casey caught just a glimpse of my mother in one of her drunken episodes. She heard the things my mother had been saying to me.

I got her out of there before she heard anymore.

After that she simply asked me how long that'd been going on, and I told her since I could remember.

I think Elliot and Jane are the only ones I've ever really talked to about it, but my mom's better now right?

"So Jane got jealous when she saw me kiss you? Not Cabot? Hmm well I guess that back fired." No kidding.

"Yeah, I don't even know where you got the idea of making Ms. Cabot jealous."

"Really Liv? It's clear you have the hots for her. I just wanted to see if she did too. Just trying to help you out." I gave her a skeptical look.

"You were not only trying to make MY teacher jealous but a gorgeous out of my league twenty one year old."

"So you do like her!" she pointed with a wide grin on her face. I rolled my eyes.

"Can you keep it down? I don't want the entire world to know."

"Oh my gosh you actually have the hots for Cabot wow." She had a look of genuine shock on her face.

"I never said that."

"Oh yeah you never said that my ass! Did you not just hear yourself? Damn Jane and I definitely don't stand a chance." She laughed.

"I thought you were over wanting to be with me?" I asked confused.

"I am Liv. I'm just playing around with you. Yeah I'd be lying if I said I didn't like you still but I do. A lot. But like I said the other day I know we'll never be. I had my chance at you and I lost it. But then again did I ever really have you?" She sighed leaning back again.

"You did..believe it or not. I think for a while it wasn't just sex, but then something happened. I'm not sure why but when you said you wanted a real relationship I felt like I wasn't worth it. You gave me everything Casey and in the end I acted like you didn't matter when you did you really did." I put my hand on hers silently hoping she wouldn't think I was leading her, but that I was apologizing.

"Was that your way of apologizing? Cause..your apology is accepted." She smiled taking my hand giving it a squeeze before letting go.

"Friends?" I asked hopeful.

"Friends." She nodded.

"So.." She said after a short silence. "Is it just a crush or are you falling for Ms. Cabot? Hmm?"

"I uh I don't really know Case. I know I feel something, but what it is I don't know. Everything with her is so..different." She nodded understanding what I was saying as the bell rang.

"Only time will tell right? But what you have to do is learn to think about you sometimes Liv and if going for it is what YOU want then do it. I have a good feeling things might work out for you." she poked my shoulder as we stood up.

"I'll try Case..."

"You better, and remember I'm here for you okay? You deserve the world." She pulled me into a warm hug.

"Thank you Casey." I buried my face in we red hair and felt her tighten her arms around me. I needed a nice hug right now.

"We should probably go to class. I'll see you at practice alright?" She said letting go of me.

"Yeah I'll see you." We exchanged a smile and went our separate ways.

I felt so relieved to have Casey in my life again. She always did get me a little better than most.

Now I had to deal with Jane, but would she even give me the time of day?

...

"Great practice girls! Have a good night!" Ms. Carmichael dismissed us after an exhausting practice.

"I'm convinced Ms. Carmichael is trying to kill us. We ran so much today." Amanda poured some water on her head and laid back on the bleachers.

"If she kills us she won't have a team." Casey pointed out untying her basketball shoes. I stood up from the bleachers and looked over at Alex who was talking with Abbie. I saw her glance over at me briefly and smile and I gulped hard.

Damn that smile could kill.

I felt an elbow hit my side and of course it was Casey. She had an amused look on her face.

"See you tomorrow Liv." she waved bye and walked to the locker room.

"Bye Case"

I watched as Abbie and Alex exchanged their goodbyes and made my way to Alex.

"Ready to get going?" She asked me handing me my gym bag.

"Yeah let me change my shoes really quick." I sat down and untied my shoes taking them off and putting on my regular shoes.

"You wanna go get some food? You gotta be starved after that practice."

"Starved is an understatement. Lets go."

We walked out to the parking lot to her car and got it. I watched as Alex put her hair up and she caught me looking but just smirked it off.

Suddenly her phone went off and she sighed loudly.

"Great.."

**Next update is either on Tuesday or Wednesday! **


	12. Chapter 12

**AN**: Oh look an update! So I got my basketball schedule today and I'll be starting in November and my first game is in December so I'll be keep you guys posted on that cause that will affect updating times. I can't wait to get back on the court!

This update is dedicated to **VikkiT** for giving me such wonderful ideas for future chapters. Thank you!

As always thanks to anyone who reviewed/followed/faved love you lots!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu blah blah blah you already know this

Chapter 12

For a second it looked like Alex wasn't going to answer her phone, but after the sixth ring she sighed and gave in.

"Hello mother.." Her tone was very dull and annoyed sounding. I watched as she played with the strings of the sweater she was wearing not really paying attention to whatever her mom was saying.

"Mhmm yes you told me you'd be coming down but didn't tell me when. What? What do you mean you're at my apartment? Mother..who else? Why is he there?" She looked horrified.

"Mom you shouldn't have brought him here. I told you..Mom yes I know..but he's not the one. No absolutely not." I watched as she put her forehead into her hand. I really wanted to know who her mom brought with her, cause whoever it was, was making Alex have a panic attack.

I put my hand on her stiff shoulder, and noticed her calm down.

"Well I'm not going to be home for at least an hour..I'm having dinner with a friend. No mother it's not a man. Look I'll be there in an hour. Are you guys going to stay at a hotel? Oh yeah of course you want to stay at my apartment." She rolled her eyes.

"No no mother it's fine. He can sleep on the couch. No I'm not sharing my bed with him! Mom look I need to go." She was beyond aggravated so I rubbed small circles on her shoulder trying to sooth her. She seemed to move into my embrace.

"Yes, I'll be there soon. Ok bye." With that she hung up and let out a heavy sigh.

I moved my hand to her arm and gave it a light squeeze wondering where I was getting this boost of confidence from. Alex put her hand over mine and gave me a thankful smile before starting the car. I moved my hand back in my lap and waited for her to say something. I didn't want to push her into telling me anything she didn't want to.

Are we even far enough into our friendship to tell each other personal things like that?

We drove out of the school parking lot and towards the hot dog stand we went to when we last had dinner.

"So my mom is in town." She finally said. "And you'll never guess who she brought."

"Who'd she bring?"

"Remember how I told you I was engaged? Well she brought my Ex..Trevor here and I'm almost positive she's going to try getting us back together." She shook her head as she parked near the hot dog stand.

"I left him for a reason. She should already know I don't want to be with him." She sighed and leaned back in her seat, a few stray hairs managed to cover her face slightly.

"What are you going to do?" I asked moving the stray hairs behind her ear.

"I'm probably going to take the rest of the week off after tomorrow and try to deal with my mother and keep Trevor as far away from me as possible. That man is a creep and I can't believe my mom wants me to get back together with him. Especially after everything he's done." I gave her a curious look and she smiled.

"I love it when you give me that look." I blushed and looked down at my hands. She put her fingers under my chin making me look back into her blue eyes.

"Trevor..My ex he…he wanted me to sleep with his friends and coworkers. The moment he even suggested it I slapped him into next week and called off the engagement. I was waiting for an excuse to cancel the engagement and he gave it to me." I felt a surge of rage boil in my veins. How could her mom even let her be in the same vicinity as that creep.

Great and he's gonna be sleeping there? I swear if he so much as puts a hand on Alex I will put that man in his grave.

I guess Alex noticed my change of demeanor and smiled.

"Don't worry Liv he won't touch me. Not if he values his life."

"He better not.." I mumbled and Alex let out a chuckle playing with a strand of my hair.

"Someone's a little protective hmm?" I watched her smile not looking up from the piece of hair she was playing with.

My heart was pounding.

Damnit why does Alex have to be so damn flirtatious?

Is she like this with Ms. Carmichael?

"I really love your hair, it's so long and full." She ran her fingers through it, admiring it.

"Uh thanks. I like yours too." Which was true I loved Alex's hair and..well everything else about her.

"Are you okay? You seem nervous.." She pointed out and I just gulped down any moister in my mouth.

"I'm fine, I'll go get the hot dogs. Same as last time right?" I had to get out of that car before I ended up jumping her.

"Yes same as last time." She stopped playing with my hair and put her hands in her lap frowning slightly.

Damnit why is she frowning?

"I'll be right back." I stepped out of the car and made my way over to the little hot dog stand.

A few minutes later I made my way back to the car with two hot dogs in hand.

"Hey, here's your dog." I said handing her, her hot dog and closing the car door behind me.

"Thanks. I'm starving." She took a big bite of her hot dog and I laughed.

"Wha toe punny?" She said with her mouth full and I just laughed more.

She's so adorable right now.

This was a different side of Alex I was blessed to see.

She was more carefree and less...adult like.

"Nothing you just got a little something on your chin.." I chuckled pointing to the mustard that was on her chin.

"Oh shit.." She quickly grabbed a napkin and tried wiping it away with a faint blush on her cheeks.

Was she embarrassed?

"Here I got you." I said wiping the mustard off her chin with a napkin.

And that's when it happened.

Our eyes slowly met and a feeling I've never felt before erupted inside my chest. After an intense minute she looked away shyly.

"Thanks." She mumbled averting her attention back to her food.

Did we just have a moment? One of those moments you only see in movies and tv?

Or everyday at the lunch table between Kathy and Elliot..

We ate in silence for the next fifteen minutes, and I couldn't help but wonder why the hell Alex was a teacher? It just doesn't fit her.

If she wasn't a teacher everything would be so much easier.

"God why do you have to be a teacher?.." I said quietly, but just enough for her to hear. She looked at me putting her hand out for my trash.

"I wanted to be one when I was little, but then I gained a passion for law. I just got so sick of my mom writing my future for me. Marry this guy, have this job, have this many kids. I just got so sick of it..plus I love teaching and helping out students so I guess I'm still doing something I love.." She shrugged throwing away our trash in the trash bag in the back seat.

"But you love law more.." I pointed out. Then she got quiet and looked down at her hands.

"I love a lot of things Liv, but sometimes you just have to settle." I shook my head. That's not something Alex would say.

"No, you don't have to settle. You just don't want to do what your mom wants, but Al that's what you wanna do. I can see it now Alex Cabot kickass District Attorney." I said with a very determined voice and saw a smile stretch across her face.

"Really? You can see me being an attorney?"

"Yes." I said simply leaning back in my seat. She leaned back with me and looked me in the eyes.

"Where have you been all my life Olivia?" She said dead seriously, but I could tell she was still being friendly nothing more.

"Here." I pointed to the spot on her chest where her heart would be.

"I'm happy we're friends Liv. Even under the circumstances." I gave her a warm smile.

"Yeah, our weird circumstances."

"You know whenever Abbie and I would hang out last year she wouldn't shut up about you. She'd be all like Olivia this and Olivia that. She really wanted me to meet you at the qualifier so I could meet the face behind the name, but when you didn't show she was pretty disappointed. I told her I'd meet you eventually, and look at us now." The blonde had a gorgeous smile on her face as she spoke.

"I regret not going to that qualifier more than ever now. Especially knowing I would of met you."

"Yeah, you wouldn't have been my student back then. Then this wouldn't be as..forbidden."

Yeah liking you wouldn't be as forbidden either.

I really wonder if things would be any different now if I had met Alex back then.

"Can I ask you question?" She asked suddenly.

"You just did." I smiled.

"Smartass. Why wont you open up to me? Honestly, please I think I disserve that much."

"Honestly?" I sat up and looked down at her as she nodded.

"It's stupid really..but I don't want to burden you with any of my crap. You have enough going on. You don't need me adding any stress to your life ya know?" Alex sat up and shook her head.

"Is that really how you feel Liv? That is stupid." She looked at me ridiculously before turning to me and taking my hand.

"Liv, I want to know everything about you. Nothing about you or your life will burden me in any way. Yeah, I have things in my life that are complicating, but I open up and tell you about them because it's a lot damn better than holding it in. It just feels nice being able to tell someone you know will listen." My heart jumped at her words, but I knew they were ment in a friendly way. Not the way I wanted.

"Still..that's just how I've been my whole life. But maybe..." I looked into her eyes with a smile and down at our hands. "After sometime..I'll open up. How does that sound?" I looked back up and saw her grinning at me.

"That sounds good."

After two hours of talking and sitting with Alex she finally drove me home. You could tell that she was dreading going home, but was enjoying her time with me.

"God my mom is blowing up my phone." She groaned handing her phone to me.

"Can you put it on silent for me?"

"Sure. What's your password?" I asked looking at her screen.

"It's five, four, eight, two." I wonder what that stands for?

I typed in her password and put her phone on silent, but before I put it down a thought struck my head.

Maybe I should put my number in her phone. We are friends right? Friends exchange numbers right?

I quickly went and made a new contact, put my name and number in and saved before placing her phone in the center console.

Before I knew it we were infront of my apartment complex, and I felt myself not wanting to go.

"Ughhhh." Alex groaned next to me. "Is it bad that I don't want you to go?" I laughed.

"Is it bad that I don't want to go either?" She smiled and pulled me into a hug and I felt myself freeze for a second before wrapping my arms around her.

Even though our hug was a little awkward since we were in a car it felt oh so right. My chest felt warm and my heart started to pick up pace, and I swore I could feel Alex's heart beat through our hug, but maybe I was just imagining it.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Alex said releasing me.

"I'll see you later Al." I said opening the car door. She handed me my bag from the back seat.

"Good luck with your mom..and uh your ex." She let out a sigh. "Thanks, I'll need it. Have a good night Liv."

"You too Alex." And with that she drove away.

I'd say we broke some kind of barrier tonight.

Alex and I can only get closer from here.

Right?

...

"Ma! I'm gonna be late lets go!" I yelled from the living the next morning.

"I'm coming!" She came running out of her bedroom, and she looked like hell. She had dark circles under her eyes, her face looked pale and her eyes were a tint of yellow.

"Are you alright mom?" I asked concerned as my mom pushed us both out the door.

"Yeah I'm fine honey, I'm just..feeling a little sick is all. I'll be fine." She assured me.

I just gave her a weird look before getting in the passenger side of the car.

We drove in silence, and I noticed that she'd occasionally scratch her neck or arm.

"Ma are you sure you're ok? Do you wanna go to the doctor?"

"No baby I'm fine. What time is it?" She asked changing the subject.

"It's a little past eight."

"Damn, you aren't going to get in trouble for being late right?" She said pulling into the school.

"No it's fine, but are you fine?"

"Olivia stop asking me if I'm fine ok? I'm alright. Have a good day at school." She yelled out irritatedly.

"You too.."

I walked to class slowly, pondering what could possibly be wrong with my mom. I didn't just want my mom to go around being sick and not get any help. What if it was serious?

I reached Alex's room and felt some of my worry fade away.

When I walked in she was facing the board writing something. I scanned over her body and a jolt of heat hit my body.

Her legs were on display in a tight pencil skirt, and her blonde hair was in a messy pony tail.

She must of heard me enter because she turned my way and flashed me a smile.

"It's nice of you to join us Ms. Benson. The assignment is on the board." She said teacherly, and I grinned a teethy grin.

The fact that no one knows of our 'outside of school' friendship makes things more..exciting.

I glanced over at Jane who had been staring at me since I had got there, giving me a look of annoyance.

Looks like I won't be talking to her for longer than I thought.

I made my way over to my seat, taking off my bag when I noticed two unfamiliar people sitting in the back of the room.

One was a woman with Alex's complexion, but a little older and the other was a lanky black haired man.

That must be her mom and her ex.

Why the hell are they here?

I looked over to Alex who had her head buried in whatever paperwork was on her desk.

I started my assignment ocassionaly glancing up at Alex, noticing her stressed expression that she was trying to hide.

"Uh Ms. Cabot can you help me with this problem?" I asked from my seat.

"Yes, what is it?" She came over to my desk and leaned closer to my paper.

"Well you see there is a very stressed blonde woman in this room and I'd like to know what's wrong. Oh and her mom and ex are sitting in the back of the room what's up with that?" I whispered.

"Uh well.." She started, sounding very teacher like and then whispered. "She's stressed because her stupid mom won't get off her back and nagging her about how much she hates her job and wishes she'd just move back home oh and they're here because her mom wants to 'evaluate' her teaching. Oh and you'd take the distance formula and plug in these coordinates and you should get the answer." She made her way back to her desk professionally.

Class felt very awkward with her mom and Trevor sitting in the back. Just knowing that man has had Alex and blew it just makes my blood boil. And her mom scrutinizing her for going something other than what she wants drives me mad.

Alex can do whatever the hell she wants.

Soon the bell rang and everyone started clearing out. I went up to turn my assignment in giving Alex an understanding smile.

"Ms. Benson before you go.." She got up and came close to me.

"Are you going to be alright with me not giving you a ride home for the rest of the week?" She whispered.

"I'll manage." I shrugged. "Are you going to be ok?" She just sighed.

"I'll be fine for now. I'm sure my mother will find a way to drive me mad though."

"Well if you need me. I'm here Al." And with that I picked up my bag and left looking back at Alex who had a small smile on her face.

I really am here for her, and if I need to stand up for her I will not hesitate.

**Next update is Saturday!**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN**: I am a woman of my word so here is today's update!

I feel like that last chapter could have been better...I really rushed it and I feel like it was eh. This chapter on the other hand makes me pretty damn happy.

I was thinking about starting another story, but idk if I should start it now or after this story is over. What do you guys think?

As always thanks for reviewing/following/faving I appreciate each and every one of you.

Disclaimer: I've been lying to you guys..I really do own Law & Order svu..Just kidding..

Chapter 13

"Benson quit slacking!"

My sneakers screeched as I did passing drills with Casey. My head wasn't really in the drill though. I couldn't stop thing about Alex, and my mom.

Alex was so stressed this morning.

I wish I could just get rid of all the stress in her life.

Her mom looked like the type of person that could never be satisfied, and had to have everything her way. Cold, yet she was Alex's mom. She clearly made a wonderful creature if I say so myself.

Alex's ex..Trevor. That asshole can just go find a cliff and jump off of it. He looked like he'd be a creep. Yet, I wonder what possessed him to want to 'share' Alex?

"Benson if I have to tell you one more time to focus you aren't going to very happy! You know what everyone get on the line and run until I feel like I'm going to puke!" Everyone groaned.

"Thanks a lot Liv!" A few of my teammates yelled as we made our way to the sideline.

"You alright Liv?" Casey nudged me with her elbow getting my attention.

"Yeah I just got a lot on my mind." She flashed me a sad look before Ms. Carmichael blew her whistle and signaled us to start running.

My mom looked so sick this morning. She should really go to the doctor, why wouldn't she want to go?

And you know what I realized? My mother has been sleeping an awful lot lately..and she'll hide away in her room for hours and sometimes I wont see her until the next morning.

What's going on with her?

We ran from sideline to sideline for what felt like forever, and I'm almost positive if any of us had asthma we'd be dead.

"Alright everyone in the middle!"

We all jogged over to the middle, and I saw Amanda flash me a look of concern. I just gave her whatever kind of smile I could manage after running until my lungs felt like death.

"Overall we had a good practice. Even though SOME of us clearly had other things on their minds." Abbie looked over at me before continuing.

"Get some rest, and come tomorrow prepared to shoot well over a hundred free throws. There wont be much running, have a nice night. Oh and Liv can you come here for a sec?"

The girls all went to the locker room except for Casey who went and sat on the bleachers while I walked over to Ms. Carmichael who had a concerned look on her face.

"You alright Liv? You didn't really seem like you were here today."

"I'm fine Abbie. I just have a lot on my mind." I shrugged.

"Well if you need to talk to anyone you have me and all your teammates. We're here for you alright?" I just nodded and she patted my shoulder.

"I need you to have a clear head Liv. Go home and relax. I'll see you tomorrow." She shook my shoulder gently before waving herself off.

Yeah relax..

I looked over to Casey who had my bag in her lap, and was waiting for me to come over to her.

For a second I thought of Alex, and how'd she'd be the one holding my bag right now. She'd be telling me good job or joking around with me.

She'd touch my arm at least once sending shivers throughout my entire body. I wonder if she knows she affects me that way?

"Thanks Case." I said walking over to her and grabbing my bag.

"No problem." She stood up and scanned my features. "You wanna talk about it?" I shook my head.

"Is it about Cabot?" Casey prodded giving me a knowing look.

"Maybe. Look I'm just gonna head out I'll see you later." I didn't want to talk to her about Alex. If anything I just wanted Alex. I wanted to feel that feeling I felt when we were in the car yesterday.

I wanted the hope I felt.

The hope that maybe Alex did have feelings for me.

But who am I kidding?

I walked away from Casey, and was relieved when she didn't chase after me.

I began my walk home, and for once I really wished I had a ride. My legs were damn near dead after all that running. I stopped at a bench to take a break, and decided to check my phone.

One missed call from a number I didn't know.

My first thought was that it was just a wrong number, but then I remembered how I slipped my number into Alex's phone yesterday.

My heart jumped at the idea of it being her.

My finger hovered over the redial button.

What if this wasn't Alex?

But what if it was?

You know what? What the hell.

I pressed the button and put my phone to my ear listening to it ring. I prayed that it was Alex, her voice would definitely make my night a whole lot better.

And suddenly the ringing stopped, and the voice that I heard made my heart leap out of my chest, and somewhere onto the wet street in front of me.

"Olivia?" I've never been so thankful to hear my name being said.

"Alex? Hey, I can't even begin to say how good it is to hear your voice." I heard her let out a laugh.

"Miss me that much already? Jeez how are you going to survive the rest of the week?"

"I have no clue." I scratched the top of my head and started walking again.

"If it counts..I miss you too. A lot." If words could kill I'd be dead right about now.

"Oh it counts. What are you up to?"

"Enjoying some alone time. My mom left to see a friend and Trevor said something about meeting with an associate. I know this probably sounds horrible, but I wish they'd just leave already. You wanna know what my mom said to me earlier?"

"What'd she say?" I asked interested in every word she was saying.

"She said that I'm wasting my time doing nonsense, and that I need to grow up. Really I need to grow up? Ugh she's lucky she's my mother cause I wouldn't have just taken that. I would of fucking shoved my foot up her ass and told her to fuck off, but no I happen to respect and love my mother whether she believes it or not." Did Alex just drop the f bomb?

"Damn you sound pretty aggravated Al. How's Trevor treating you? He hasn't disrespected you at all has he?"

"Aggravated isn't the word Liv. And he's been treating me fine, he's such a kiss ass though. He gravels at my mothers feet and it's just plain pathetic. My mother keeps saying how great of a guy he is and how his job and status would make the Cabot name even better. I just don't know what to say to her."

"What you need to do is let her know how you feel Al. Put your foot down. You can't just let her control your life."

"You're right. I just don't want to hurt her. When my mom doesn't get what she wants she tends to throw a fit. I remember one time when I was about five my mother wanted me to wear this dress she liked, but it was the ugliest thing in the world. So I refused to wear it. When I wouldn't put it on my mother locked herself in her room all day. It took my father asking me to put the dress on and saying sorry for her to get out. She's just such a drama queen." She groaned and I let out a chuckle.

"It's definetly going to be a challenge, but I think you can get through to her Al. Believe it or not you got some of her stubbornness in you. Maybe not as extreme but you can be pretty stubborn."

"Oh you haven't seen anything yet Olivia." She stated flirtatiously and I just blushed.

"Anyway enough of me yapping. How was practice?"

"It wasn't the best. I wasn't all there tonight." I answered honestly.

"Have a lot on your mind?"

"Well mostly you." I thought but actually said out loud and felt panic strike me.

"Mostly me huh?" Her tone was amused, and I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Uh yeah." I'm pretty sure my cheeks are the color of a bright red tomato right now.

"Well besides me, what else is on your pretty little mind?"

"My uh..it's nothing." I quickly stopped myself.

"Really Liv? It's clearly something. Remember the talk we had yesterday? You can vent to me. I'm here to listen."

"I know just.."

"I understand Liv." Her voice was filled with care.

"Wait, how did you get home? You didn't walk did you?" She asked suddenly.

Damnit.

"I um am actually walking as we speak."

"Liv! Why didn't you get a ride? Do you need me to come get you?"

"No, no I'm almost home. I just didn't want anyone other than you to drive me home is all."

"I knew I should of just went to practice. I could of drove you home."

"It's fine. I'm already home. Maybe tomorrow you can show up? It'd be nice to see you." I said walking into my apartment complex.

"I'll see what I can do. I really want to see you Liv." Boom there went my heart.

"Alex, dear I'm back." I heard her let out a groan.

"My mom is back. Um can I call you back in a little bit?" She asked unsure of my answer.

"Sure, I'll be here Al."

"Good then I'll call you in a bit. Bye Liv."

"Talk to you soon Al." We both hung up and I had the biggest smile on my face as I opened my apartment door.

"Ma I'm home!"

Silence.

"Mom, hey you home?"

I threw my bag on the floor next to the door, and looked around for her.

And of course she was on the couch in a deep sleep.

"Hey ma, wake up." She groaned as I shook her.

"Mm did I fall asleep?" She asked groggily.

"Yeah you did, and it's only 8:30 are you feeling ok?" I put my hand on her abnormally pale forehead, and it wasn't hot in fact she was cold.

"Jeez mom, you're freezing." She stood up and stretched her limbs.

"Well I feel fine honey. Dinner is in the fridge, I'll be in my room if you need me. Oh and.." She reached for the car keys that were sitting on the coffee table. "The car is yours. Take care of it." I was shocked.

"Wait? What about you? Did you get a new car or something?"

"Something like that. Night honey." And with that she went into her room, and closed the door behind her.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy I had a car now, but I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't beyond worried about my mom.

...

"So what made you want to put your number in my phone hmm Liv?" It was later that night and Alex had called me back about an hour after I got home.

"Well I just thought ya know..friends talk on the phone and text. And we're friends so why can't we do that?"

"I guess you're right. You know you could of just asked me for my number. I would of given it to you. Anyway what are you doing?"

"I'm laying down talking to you. What about you?" I asked, playing with the end of my blanket.

"I'm laying down talking to you too." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"That sounds boring." I smiled.

"Actually it's not. I love talking to you. You happen to be my favorite person." Bam there went my heart...again.

"You happen to be my favorite person too. Ms. Cabot." I flirted and she let out a laugh.

"I better be Ms. Benson." I bit my lip trying to contain my large smile.

"Oh guess what?"

"Hmm?"

"My mom gave me the car! So you don't need to worry about driving me home anymore."

"Oh..that's great I guess." She said sadly.

"Whoa what's wrong? I thought you'd be happy?"

"I am it's just..I liked driving you home." She admitted.

"Oh.."

"It's alright though. I still get to see you at school and while you're practicing."

Damnit I didn't think about how much we wouldn't see eachother if I got the car.

"How about I just give the car back? And only use it when you can't give me a ride?"

"Wouldn't that mean I'd get to drive you to school too?" She asked happily.

"As risky as that is yeah we can do that."

"Great so what time should I pick you up tomorrow?"

"Maybe we can get breakfast so come and get me at let's say..6:30?" I suggested.

"Wow a breakfast date too? Tomorrow sounds like its going to be amazing."

Date? Did I hear that right? Maybe she didn't mean it.

"Yeah I know this little place in the city that has the best blueberry pancakes."

"In the city? It's going to take us awhile to get there. Should I came earlier?" She asked as I yawned tiredly. Suddenly an idea hit me.

"Um I was actually wondering if you wanted to spend the day together? If you aren't too busy?" I asked confidently.

"You have school Liv, and basketball practice. You can't just skip."

"Come on Al! It's just one day. I want to spend tomorrow with you."

The line was quiet for a good minute, and I was starting to get worried.

"Al.."

"I'll pick you up at 7:00. Wear a swimsuit underneath your clothes alright?" A swimsuit?

"Uh ok. Just text me when you get here."

"Alright well I'll let you get some sleep now. I can't wait to spend the day with you."

"Me too. I'll see you tomorrow Al."

"Sweet dreams Liv. Bye."

"Sweet dreams. Bye Al."

I waited till the line went dead and kept the phone to my ear.

I couldn't really comprehend what was going to happen tomorrow.

I was going to spend the entire day with Alex. Wait what about her mom and Trevor? What was she going to tell them?

I layed my head on my pillow and sighed happily. Alex actually wanted to spend the day with me and only me. It made my heart pitter uncontrollably, but I was getting used to that feeling. Tomorrow was going to be great.

A day with Alex.

**Next update will be on Wednesday! **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN**: I know this is a little late. I've been having a pretty crappy week, but I managed to get you guys this update as soon as I could.

I'm getting close to 200 reviews! I truly am thankful for everyone who reads and enjoys my little story here. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is my longest chapter!

DID YOU GUYS WATCH THE NEW EPISODE OF SVU?!

Mariska needs an Emmy for that..like no joke.

As always thanks to anyone who reviewed/followed/faved!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & order svu or it's attractive characters..

Chapter 14

I couldn't sleep at all that night.

I tossed and turned with my head filled with thoughts of Alex. I swear that woman is always finding her way in my head, but what I wanted to know was what was going through her head?

Is there anyway Alex thinks of me the way I think of her?

Does her heart swell like mine does?

Do I sneak into her head like she does mine?

I shook my head in the darkness of my room. There's no way that blonde beauty thinks of me other than a friend.

I looked over at my clock that read 3:15am and groaned into my pillow. I just wanted it to be six already so I could start my day.

My day with Alex.

I had to keep reminding myself that I was actually going to spend the entire day with her.

Who would've thought I'd be wanting to spend a day with one of my teachers? I know this gonna sound pretty bad, but I'm kind of thankful that Mr. Nelson got attacked by those bears. If he had never gotten attacked, what were the chances of Alex and I being this close? Yeah, I still would have met her eventually, because of Abbie. But..there's something about all this forbidden ness that draws me even closer to Alex.

I pushed my blankets off and swung my legs over the side of the bed, looking over at my phone.

I really wanted to text Alex, but I didn't want to interrupt her sleep. Then again what's one little text going to do?

_Hey, just wanted to tell you I can't wait to spend my day with you. AND I can't sleep. Hope you're having sweet dreams. -Liv_

I stared at my phone screen after the text sent, and smiled at the confidence I've been showing when it came to Alex lately.

Laying back down I sighed heavily, wishing I'd just fall asleep already.

I tossed and turned for another ten minutes until I felt my phone vibrate next to me.

_Can't wait to spend my day with you too, and if it helps I can't sleep either. See you at 6:30..maybe 6:00ish_. Her reply made my heart pace that familiar beat and I smiled in the darkness of my room.

_6:00? Jeez that's early._

_Hey you can't say you aren't anxious to see me too!_

_Ok maybe I'm a little anxious..._

_Only a little?_

_Aright maybe a lot.._

_Ha well try and get some sleep! I don't want you falling asleep on me tomorrow(;_

Was that a winky face? Damn falling asleep on her doesn't sound half bad.

_You too! And trust me I don't think I'll be falling asleep on you. Text me when you get here._

_I will. See you soon Liv(:_

Is it bad that just a simple smiley face in a text from her can make me smile like an idiot?

_See you Al(:_

I let out a content sigh as I snuggled into my bed, pulling my blankets over me. I felt my eyes get heavy and sleepiness take over my body.

About damn time.

...

_I'm here_

Those were the two words I'd been waiting for. I quickly looked myself over in the mirror before sending Alex a quick reply back telling her I'd be right down, and smiled when I noticed it was only 6:05am.

She wasn't lying when she said she was anxious to see me.

Plus it's going to take us at least an hour to get to the city, oh not to mention all the traffic out here. It may take awhile.

I had one of my favorite Yankees sip up hoodies on with a black tank top underneath, and some jean shorts, and underneath all that was a swim suit since Alex said to wear one.

I ran my fingers through my hair a few times and smiled at my reflection. I had a light layer of make up on, nothing too much but just a little eyeliner and some lip gloss.

Looking good Benson.

Now to say I wasn't a little nervous for today would be a lie. I felt jitters all through out my body as I walked out of my room.

I wondered if I should tell my mom I was leaving a little early today but, I decided not to. I just hope she gets up on time to get to work. I really hope she's feeling better today, even though she claims nothings wrong with her. I'm not blind you can clearly tell she's ill.

I just hope it's nothing serious.

I walked down to the ground floor and saw Alex's car parked on the curb, and sucked in a bit more air then needed before walking up to it. I smiled when I noticed she was bobbing her head to some music in her car clearly in her own little world at the moment.

I knocked on her car window, and she looked over at me with a cute embarrassed look on her face. When I heard the car door click I entered with a teethy grin gracing my features.

"You didn't see anything." Alex said to me as she turned her music down.

"Really? I swore I saw you jamming out, but that could have just been all in my head." I looked at her, and damn she looked amazing. Her hair was half up, half down being held up by a long clip. She had a light layer of makeup on, and her lip gloss was a shade of pink that went amazing with her skin. l glanced down at her body and she was wearing a white button up shirt and some khakis that covered her knees. I noticed a little heart necklace about her neck, that really made her outfit pop. You could clearly tell she put some extra effort into her appearance today.

"Ok maybe I was jamming out a little." She admitted, and I could have sworn she was looking me over. Analyzing every bit of me.

I saw her eyes move down to my chest, and her face turn a shade of red. At first I had no clue what she was looking at, but then I realized I hadn't sipped up my jacket.

She's looking at my chest…was she checking me out?

Oh my god she was. I silently praised myself for not sipping up my hoodie all the way.

"Like what you see Ms. Cabot?" I flirted, and she averted her eyes back up to mine.

"I have no clue what you're talking about Benson." She smiled trying to play it off.

"Mhmm sure."

"Ok so maybe you look really..uh attractive today." She tried finding a friendly word, but didn't really succeed.

"You don't look so bad yourself Al." I said smoothly, and watched as the blush on her cheeks got darker.

Maybe she does like me. Maybe, but even if she does this couldn't happen could it? All this is risky enough, but if someone found out about us being an item she'd lose her job.

Scratch that, she would never be able to be a teacher again, and even if she went into law people would find out she had an inappropriate relationship in her previous career, and frown upon her. Everything could go downhill for her. I couldn't let that happen.

No way.

"Alright here's how today is going to go." she began as she started the car. "It's going to take us at least an hour to get to the city and then we'll go and have breakfast.." She touched my arm as our eyes met. "Then we can do a little city walking, maybe find a place to have lunch? Then I wanted to take you somewhere..which is why I asked you to wear a swim suit." She ran her hand up my arm and to my shoulder where you could see the straps of my swim suit. "And then after we're done there, depending on if you wanna do anything else. We'll drive back here, and should be back around the time you'd normally get out of basketball practice." She took her hand away from my shoulder and started to drive.

"That sounds good. I just hope Abbie doesn't give me too much crap for missing practice."

"She'll probably just wonder where you are. As for you being absent from school today, I guess I can just call and pretend to be your mom on your phone." She shook her head. "I never thought I'd have such little regard for rules."

"I guess I just bring the rule breaker out of you."

"I guess you do." She smiled.

The drive was fairly quiet, with a little small talk here and there, but we managed to make it to the city within an hour. I was surprised when I witnessed Alex get a little road rage when some guy cut her off.

"Fucking asshole! He knew damn well it was my turn!" I laughed and pulled her along. We had begun our journey to the pancake place on foot.

"Jeez you cuss a lot when you're heated." I bumped her shoulder with mine and she just rolled her eyes.

I loved this city. No matter where I go, this city, New York City will forever and always be my home. The smell, the noises, all the people it all just felt right, and it felt even better with Alex with me.

"So.." Alex began wrapping her arm around mine as we walked. I felt my heart threaten to break out of my chest, but I kept my composure. "Have you lived in New York all your life?"

"Yeah, I'm a New York baby. How about you?"

"Mhmm born here, but my family would stay in Massachusetts a lot so that's my second home."

"Boston hmm? Are you a Red Sox fan?"

"I actually am." She grinned, knowing that the Red Sox were the Yankees rivals.

"Well then..I guess we can't be friends anymore." I said playfully, pulling my arm free from her grip, and walking ahead of her.

"Liv!" She yelled catching up with me and slipping her arm around mine again. I laughed and she just shoved me lightly.

"Hey at least game days will be exciting."

"Yeah and we'll end up ripping each others heads off." Her beautiful laughed filled my ears and I couldn't help but smile.

...

We finally made it to the pancake place, and before we even stepped inside the aroma of freshly cooked pancakes filled our noses.

"Gosh I'm starving. Lets see if these pancakes are as good as you say they are." She slipped from my arm and scurried to the entrance and I just smiled as I followed behind her.

Seeing Alex outside of the school setting really was a sight. She's so youthful, and everything about her just makes me..smile.

If you think about it though, Alex had to grow up pretty fast, and it makes me so happy that I can bring this youth out of her.

"Come on slow-poke!" She called from infront of me as she entered the restaurant.

Walking in, the place was just how I remembered it. It still had that old timey bar/café feel to it, that I remebered all too well.

Looking around I saw Alex take a seat at a booth in the way back of the restaurant near some windows, secluded from the rest of the restaurant. Sliding in next to her, I raised my eyebrow at her.

"What? This is more..um private. I just want today to be..me and you. Alex and Olivia. No Ms. Cabot, no teachers, no students, just me and you." She looked into my eyes pulling my hand in hers, and I felt this uncontrollable urge to touch her. Not in a sexual way, but in a 'I care about you' kind of way.

I took my other hand, and ran my fingers down her cheek, to her neck, down to stop at her knee, resting it there. Our eyes never leaving each others, but I swore she glanced down at my lips.

"Liv I.."

"Hi! Welcome to Good Enough to Eat! Where we specialize in breakfast and brunch. I'm Sally, and I'll be your guys server..Wait, OLIVIA! Oh my gosh it's been forever!"

"Sally? Oh wow you still work here?" I pulled away from Alex and stood up to hug Sally.

You see my mom and I used to come here a lot when I was younger. Sally would always be our server and I got pretty well aquatinted with Sally over the years. She's even been to a few of my games. She's a red headed woman in her late twenties who looks like she could be sixteen.

"Yeah I still work here. I love this place! Jeez I haven't seen you in what two years? How's your mom? And where are my manners?! Who is this beautiful lady?" she asked gesturing to Alex.

"I'm Alex, it's nice to meet you." She stood up and put her hand out, but Sally just stared at her hand, before pulling Alex into a bone crushing hug.

"Girl we don't shake hands around here! It's just like my mama used to say a hand shake means you're a stranger, but a hug makes you family. If you're a friend of Liv's then that makes you family Ms. Alex." Sally stated letting go of her.

"Now what will you two be having today?" Alex and I sat back down, and looked at the menu.

"Hmm I'll have my usual Sal, what do you want Al?" I watched as she scanned over the menu.

"I'll have the chocolate chip pancakes with a coffee please."

"Good choice! I'll be right back with your guys food. I'll have Larry get your water." She walked off with our order.

"She seems nice." Alex pointed out.

"Yeah, she's part of the reason I love this place. Great service."

"Well if it isn't Olivia Benson, and who is this?" A big berly man came over with a tray of water, and placed them infront of us.

"Hey Larry, oh this is Alex. Thanks for the water."

"No problem. Is she your girlfriend? Cause I have to say Livvy she's quite the catch." I felt my face get hot, and my heart jump in my chest.

"Me a catch? No more like Liv is the catch I'm just the lucky girl who happen to come upon such a wonderful person." Alex said placing her hand over mine, and I just looked at her with shock.

"Ah well you take care of my little Liv here. She's a fighter I tell ya. Enjoy your meal ladies."

"Thank you."

I was quiet. Had Alex really just said that? Did she mean it the way I wanted her to mean it?

"You got awful quiet on me.." The blonde squeezed my hand and I just blinked a few times.

"Sorry, I was just thinking." I said squeezing her hand back, she didn't pry into what I was thinking about, but I knew she was wondering.

"Here's you're food ladies! Enjoy!" Sally came over with our meals.

"So Liv, what's your mom do for a living?" Alex asked, making small talk.

"She's actually a professor at Columbia University. She teaches English, but lately she's been going it way later than she used to." I realized as I picked at my pancakes.

"Maybe her schedule got changed?" I nodded, that's a possibility.

I noticed that Alex didn't bring up my dad. Which I was thankful for but did she already know about him? Or did she just find it inappropriate to bring him up since I never mention him?

We had a very enjoyable breakfast. Flirting here and there, bumping shoulders, resting hands on each other, and to anyone who didn't know our situation they'd most likely think we were lovers.

I wish.

After arguing over who was going to pay we ended up just splitting the bill fifty/fifty. Sally and Larry waved goodbye as we left the restaurant making me promise to comeback more often.

By the time we left it was almost eleven, and we decided to just walk around and enjoy the city.

It felt nice having Alex around my arm and us teasing each other back and forth.

"Whatever Liv! You don't even pay attention anyway!"

"Nobody pays attention! It's math Al. Over 90 percent of us suck at it so why would we listen?"

"Wow, looks like somebody wants an F for the semester." She teased an I just rolled my eyes.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me." She stopped walking and got in my face.

"Ooo you're pushing it Cabot." I said pulling my arm away and nudging her with my finger.

"Stop pulling your arm away." She pouted, pulling my arm back to her as we kept walking.

"Ugh but my arm hurts. Here how about..this." I intertwined our fingers and glanced up at her face. Her cheeks a shade of red.

"That works."

We walked back to her car hand in hand and I'm pretty sure my heart fell out of my chest somewhere along that walk.

"Alright, now where are you taking me?" I asked as we got in the car.

"Oh just the beach." She shrugged.

"Really the beach? Are we gonna build sandcastles?" I said sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes as she started the car. "You know maybe I will." Oh jeez.

When we got to the beach it was fairly empty, and we found a spot perfect for the two of us.

"Ah crap I still need to call the school to excuse you. What time is it?"

"It's about to be three. Here use my phone." I handed it to her as I set our towels down.

"Alright, let me get into character." She closed her eyes and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Alright I am now Mrs. Benson." The blonde dialed the school number and waited for them to answer.

"Hello, yes I'd like to excuse my daughter Olivia Benson from school today. Mhmm I know I should of called earlier, but I've been taking care if her today. Yes alright. Thank you." She handed my phone back to me with a smug grin on her face.

"Rule breaker.."

We sat down on the towels and I watched as Alex started taking her clothes off. I blinked a few times urging myself to look away, but I just couldn't. She had a two piece dark blue swim suit on with light blue polka dots all over. I just stared, and marveled at her breathtaking body. Her flat stomach, her breasts, those legs.

Oh my god.

"Aren't you gonna take your clothes off?" She asked pulling me out of my trance.

"Oh yeah, I was just about to." She gave me a strange look and I enternally slapped myself.

I pulled off my hoodie and tank top, following my shorts, revealing me lime green simple two piece swim suit. Which happened to be my favorite swim suit.

Looking over at Alex I noticed her eyes traveling my body, and this time I didn't mind so much. I was pretty confident about my athletic build, and by the look that was on Alex's face I could tell tht she liked what she saw.

We spent the rest of the afternoon relaxing and talking. Telling each other stories of our childhoods, and enjoying the sun.

"Now you can't tell me that isn't an amazing sandcastle." Alex praised her creation.

"Ehh it's alright." I teased walking towards the water.

"Hmph let me see you build a better one."

I walked into the water, and looked out at the sun. Loving the warmth it was giving me.

Until suddenly I was under water.

I felt two hands on my waist pulling me under and I knew it was Alex.

Oh she's gonna pay for this one.

I swam back up to the surface, to a laughing blonde.

"That wasn't funny." I smiled, splashing water at her.

"Oh come on it was a little funny!" She laughed pulling me toward her. I playfully avoided eye contact with her, and I knew she was pouting.

"Liv.." Ignored.

"Olivia.." I rolled my eyes and pulled her to me by the waist and gave her an Eskimo kiss.

"Ok it was a little funny." I admitted turning back to our towels leaving a blushing blonde in the water.

It was already 5:00 by the time we left the beach, and may I say reluctantly because neither one of us wanted to go.

The drive back didn't take as long maybe fifty minutes at most, but it went by way too fast for my liking.

Soon we were back at my apartment and both sat in silence for awhile. Neither one of us wanting to say goodbye.

"I had a really good time with you today Liv." She said pulling me into a hug.

"Me too Al. Maybe this weekend..we can do it again?" I suggested and watched as her face lit up.

"I would absolutely love that."

"Good, wait how'd you manage to keep your mom and ex off your back today?"

"Oh, my mom had a thing with her friend and I told her that today I was going to be really busy so to avoid calling me. And with Trevor he went and had a golfing day. God that sport is so boring." She groaned.

"He made me go to all his stupid golf games when we were together. Just an entire day if walking and watching guys hit balls. Very boring."

"I bet, maybe we can go to a baseball game sometime?"

"Gosh aren't you full of making plans?" She asked with an amused tone.

"I guess I am. I just love being around you."

"I know the feeling." She said flirtatiously.

"So you still have the rest of the week off?"

"Sadly, yes. But I'll be back Monday, and we'll hang out this weekend. So it won't be too bad." She pointed out playing with a strand if my hair.

"Oh yeah and we can text and talk on the phone." She smiled and nodded.

We looked up at each other and our eyes met. I glanced down at her lips and words can't even express how badly I wanted to just press my lips against hers. I watched as she bit her lip, as if she was fighting an urge.

"I guess I'll see you later."

Damnit.

"Yeah later." She said, and right as I was about to get out of her car I heard Casey's voice in me head.

'Just go for it.'

That's it.

"Wait.." Our eyes met again and I pulled Alex close to me. At first we just stared at each other our lips just centimeters apart. Her breath becoming my breath.

I pressed my lips against hers, and my body went numb.

**You guys love me haha don't worry I'll try to update by Saturday!**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN**: So I am super sick right now, I feel like death.

Anyway I wasn't originally going to put our lovely ladies first kiss in that last chapter, but I thought It was about time, but I gotta say I loved your guys reaction to it!

AND I reached 200 reviews! You guys are wonderful and I can't thank you enough(:

I don't know if I like the direction I took this chapter..but at the same time I do hmm...

Thanks again to anyone who reviewed/followed/faved and to anyone new welcome to the family!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu..or maybe I do..

Chapter 15

My heart was set ablaze when my lips touched hers, but when she didn't kiss me back I started to panic. Yet, I didn't want this feeling to go away. The fire I felt inside my chest, the tingles flowing through my body.

Just as I was about to pull away, and run for my life Alex put her hands on either side of my face, and kissed me back.

If I thought my chest was on fire before that was nothing compared to this.

I pulled her as close to me as the confines of the car would allow.

Feeling her against me.

I felt her suck in a quick breath before running one of her hands through my hair, and devouring my lips.

Jeez I thought I was in control of this kiss.

I moaned into her mouth, wanting more, and as if she was reading my mind she slipped her tongue into my mouth.

I'm pretty sure I died and went to heaven in that moment.

To say I was aroused would be an understatement. I was completely consumed by her. Her breath filled me and her scent was on me.

Lavender. My favorite.

Our kiss was heated and full of want. Need.

I felt a slick wetness start to develop in my lower region, as I ran my hands up her back, biting her lip gently as I pulled away.

We were both panting, and I noticed Alex's blue eyes were almost black. Neither of us said anything, and I instantly grew worried.

"I'm so sorry Alex, I don't know what came over me. I'll just uh go.." I put my hand on the car handle, and was about to open the door when I felt her hand grip my arm.

"Wait Liv!" She pulled me back to her and kissed my lips gently. Her lips were so soft upon mine, and when she pulled away I let out a quiet groan.

"I'll call you." She said releasing her grip from my arm. I analyzed her features for a second, and her expression was one of confliction.

Damn I really shouldn't have done that.

With that I got out of her car, and without even looking back at her made my way into my apartment complex. I did notice though, that she hadn't driven away yet.

My mind was racing.

Did I really just kiss Alex?

Wait..she kissed me back. No she did more than just kiss me back..

It all made sense now.

All the flirting, all the touching, all the laughs, the smiles, this feeling.

She feels it too. Doesn't she?

Or maybe she only kissed me back because she didn't want the moment to be awkward. Yeah that's probably it. There is no way Alex wants me the way I want her. What would she want with a teenage girl anyway? What can I offer her? What do I have that in anyway could satisfy and make her happy?

Nothing.

I sighed. At least I got to kiss her. Feel her.

I walked into my apartment with a glum look on my face.

"Hey sweetie." My mom greeted me from the couch. She was watching tv and grading some papers. She looked a little better, her skin was gaining it's color back, and her eyes didn't look yellow anymore.

"Hey mom. Had a good day?" I asked sitting down next to her.

"Yeah, I had my students write a paper on what their thoughts on 'doing the right thing' was. And I gotta say they all have very unique ways of thinking. How was your day?"

"I actually had a really good day." I smiled to myself, and my mom noticed.

"I know that look. Who's responsible for that hmm?" She asked knowingly.

"It's no one ma. You look better by the way. Did you ever find out what was wrong with you?" I changed the subject slyly.

"I don't know. Maybe I just had some weird bug?" She said looking back down at her papers, I raised my eyebrow at her . I knew when my mom was lying, and she was right now.

I decided to leave it alone for now, at least she's getting better.

"So you wanna watch a movie? I'm about done grading these, and we could use some mother/daughter time."

"Sure I'd like that." I smiled.

My mom put her papers away and grabbed us blankets from the closet by her room, while I went and changed into something more comfortable. It took us awhile to decide on what movie we wanted to watch, but we ended up settling for some movie with Leonardo DiCaprio in it.

My mom was pretty into the movie, but what she didn't know was my mind was elsewhere, and by elsewhere I meant on Alex.

I kept on thinking about her smile, her laugh, her lips on mine, and the way she pulled me to her when I went to leave.

I checked my phone to see if she was really going to call me. For some reason I didn't think she was...I felt like I might of messed everything up between us.

I shouldn't have kissed her.

Even if she wanted me too, it shouldn't have happened. I jeopardized everything.

Our friendship, her job..and for what? Me acting on an urge?

I felt my phone vibrate in my hands.

_Stop over thinking, I know that's what you're doing right now. Just stop I'll call you as soon as my mom is asleep. _

I really wanna know how she does that.

I sighed looking over at my mom who had fallen asleep. Going to wake her up I noticed she had a bandaid on her arm right where the vein doctors go to take blood or put an IV in was.

Maybe she did go to the doctor?

"Come on ma, go get in bed." I shook her gently, I watched as she blinked a few times before sitting up.

"Oh wow, I fell asleep?" She stretched her limbs before standing up.

"Yeah, you did. Hey what's with the bandaid?" I pointed to her arm.

"Oh that? I just hit my arm on my desk today. It's no biggie. Well I'm gonna go to bed. Night Livvy." She quickly retreated before I could even say goodnight to her.

That was weird.

I made my way to my room, and laid down on my bed. Closing my eyes, letting my mind wander.

I was on the verge of sleep when I heard my phone vibrating on my nightstand.

Sitting up I rubbed my sleepy eyes before grabbing my phone.

I gulped hard before answering.

"Hello.." My voice came out shakey.

"Liv? Hey, are you alright? I didn't wake you did I?" I smiled at the concern in Alex's voice.

"No Al, you didn't wake me. I was just relaxing."

"Ok, good. I wasn't sure if you'd be awake or not since it's past midnight." I laid back down listening to her talk. "So apparently my mom went to the school today to check in on me. And when I wasn't there she was convinced I spent the day with my 'mystery lover'." She let out a laugh.

"Really now?" I mumbled. How ironic.

"Liv?"

"Yeah Alex?"

"What happened in the car.." I heard her take a deep breath before continuing. "It shouldn't have happened and I should of stopped you, but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't, and when you pulled away...I just wanted more, I needed more. Is it bad that even before you kissed me I was hoping you would?"

I was speechless. I just couldn't digest the fact that she wanted me to kiss her. Did that mean she liked me?

"I..uh I'm shocked. But you're right it shouldn't have happened."

"Do you regret it?"

"Honestly, no. I don't regret it Al. Do you?"

"I should..but I really don't Liv." She admitted and I felt my heart flutter uncontrollably.

"Al?"

"Yes Liv?"

"Do you..have feelings for me?" I needed to know, knowing would bring me clarity.

"Isn't it obvious Olivia? But what difference would it make hmm? I'm your teacher. Your my student. This just can't happen. No matter how much I want it to."

No matter how much she wants it to? She wants me? Us?

Wow.

"It probably doesn't help our situation at all but I like you too Al..a lot."

"Oh I knew that already, but it was nice to hear." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"Was I that obvious?"

"No, but when you kissed me that made it Pretty obvious. And your eyes have a tendency to wander. Just saying.."

"My eyes aren't the only ones that wander. I didn't know you were into women?"

"Hey neither did I. Maybe it's just you."

"I am pretty irresistible."

"Oh god don't get all cocky on me." I laughed and I heard her let out a breath of relief.

"You know I'm kidding Al. Since when have I been cocky?"

"Oh you have your moments." She laughed and I just rolled my eyes.

"So what does this mean for us?" I asked hoping nothing would change. That when I woke up tomorrow Alex would still be in my life.

"I think it means we wait. We can go on being friends but that's it. Like you said before even us just being friends is risky, imagine if we were a couple?"

"Oh I'm imagining alright." I said flirtatiously.

"You aren't allowed to say things like that Ms. Benson."

"Why not?" I said in a smart tone.

"Because it makes me want you." She whispered suggestively into the phone, and I felt shivers go down my spine.

"I can't say I'd object to that."

"You are something else Olivia." She said with an amused tone.

"So, this weekend are we still on?"

"We sure are. I'm not gonna let our friendship go because of this Liv."

"Good." I smiled into my phone.

"Well I'm gonna let you go to bed. You have school tomorrow, and you can't be falling asleep in your classes. Especially in geometry."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll text you in the morning."

"I'll be looking forward to it. Goodnight Liv."

"Night Al."

I listened to the line go dead, and put my phone back on my nightstand. Plopping back on my pillows and letting out a sigh of contentment.

Alex likes me back.

Damn why does she have to be a teacher?

I knew the next few days were going to be hell without seeing her.

What I wondered though was..are we really going to be able to maintain our friendship, and keep it that way?

I still can't believe she likes me..seriously what does she see in me? She could find someone so much better.

Maybe I just need to go with the flow.

Just enjoy the happiness.

How can I do that with so much a stake?

...

The next morning I woke up, and drove myself to school. Before leaving I sent Alex a quick good morning text letting her know she was on my mind. She told me her mom was dragging her around all day, and that she missed me already.

I've gotta say that it felt nice driving myself for a change.

Walking into geometry I saw some old man sitting at Alex's desk, and I instantly missed her, and it didn't help that the old man reminded me of Mr. Nelson.

I glanced over at Jane who had been analyzing me, noticing something I didn't.

I just shrugged, Jane was a lost cause, but that didn't change the fact that I still had her back. If anyone so much as started an argument with her I'd surely step in and defend her.

What can I say? She was my best friend, she'd do the same for me.

As the class started the old man introduced himself.

"I'm Mr. Anderson. Your teacher left these worksheets for you to work on. They're all due on Monday when she returns."

Going up to get the worksheets I noticed Jane standing next to me. I looked at her flashing a challenging look her way and she just squinted her eyes at me.

"You seem different. I don't know what it is, but you just seem..happier." She stated and I just scrunched my face with confusion.

"What are you talking about Jane?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Liv! What are you screwing Casey again? Is that why you're happy hmm?" I didn't want to deal with this.

"Is being happy a crime now? What? Does something have to be wrong with me for you to be satisfied?"

"No, but I should be the one making you happy! When are you going to realize that!" Her eyes were pleading and angry. I just wanted things to be normal again, but I knew that wasn't going to happen.

"Jane, I already told you I don't feel that way about you. Now would you stop you're making a scene." I glanced around the class room catching a few watching eyes.

"I don't give a fuck if I'm making a scene! Why won't you just give me a chance?"

"Why won't you just calm the fuck down!"

"Ladies! Either you two go take your seats or you can go to the principals office. And I don't want to hear that kind of language again you hear me?" Mr. Anderson said sternly.

Jane just glared at me, and I shook my head.

Why does she have to be so complicated?

Soon the bell rang and I was more than happy to be leaving that classroom.

Soon it was lunch, and like usual I was sitting with El and Kathy. I hadn't heard from Alex since this morning, and I was wondering how her day was going.

Was her mom bitching at her? Was that creep of an ex being respectful?

Aparently Elliot and Kathy noticed my 'happiness' and spoke upon it

"Who are you banging?"

"Really Elliot!?" Kathy slapped his arm.

"Hey you can't tell me she doesn't look happy?! She looks even happier than when her and Novak were screwing."

"That's none of our business, but you do seem happier Liv. Whoever it is..I'm happy for you."

"I really don't know what you guys are talking about." I stated, I guess I was happy that I knew Alex liked me back, but did that really change my demeanor that much?

"Bullshit.." Elliot mumbled and I just rolled my eyes.

"Why are you being an ass?" I shot at him.

"Why are you hiding things from me? And don't tell me you're not...Where were you yesterday by the way?"

"I didn't feel good."

"Again bullshit."

"El stop." Kathy tried.

"I just want to know why my best friend is keeping shit from me is all."

What would his reaction even be if I told him about Alex? If anything it's too early to tell him.

The rest of the day went by slowly, and I was just looking forward to practice.

"Nice pass Liv! That's what I like to see!" Ms. Carmichael yelled.

We were playing short games to twelve and I had just did a quick pass to Sasha who in return made a three pointer.

Practice went really well, I kept focus even though I had a certain blonde on my mind.

Our first game was coming up in two weeks and we were all looking forward to it. It felt like we all had this newly lit fire in us and we were ready to dominate this year. It won't be easy, but who doesn't love a litte challenge.

"I'll be handing out your uniforms on Monday so make sure your all here. Tomorrow is cardio day so come ready to run. Have a nice night ladies!" Abbie waved us off, and I was so ready to just go home and take a long hot shower, and talk to Alex.

"God I hate running.." Casey groaned next to me.

"Man up Novak!" Amanda teased and Casey rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Rollins. I bet you'll be the first one to puke tomorrow."

"Oh is that a bet I hear?"

"Yeah it is." Since when have these two been so chummy?

"Manda you know damn well you shouldn't be betting." I pointed out.

"Oh my gosh Liv that was one time! And it was against Fin! No one has ever beat him."

"That's a lie." Casey cut in. "Liv beat him about a year back."

"No way. Did you really?!" I just nodded and Casey laughed.

"Yeah we bet on a Yankees game, and of course I said my Yankees were gonna win, but he was convinced the Angels were. And lets just say he was wrong..very wrong."

"Wow I can't believe it." Amanda said with awe.

"Close your mouth Rollins." Casey had a very amused look on her face.

"I'm just amazed alright! I'll see you guys tomorrow." She waved bye, and I noticed how her eyes lingered on Casey.

"You guys are awful chummy." I pointed out to Casey, and she just shrugged.

"We've been talking lately. It's nothing serious, I don't even know if she's into girls."

"Hmm maybe you can convert her." I wiggled my eyebrows.

"I am not alluring enough to do that Liv. You might be able to though."

"Casey you are a very beautiful woman, and you have a very good heart. You can get anyone."

"Your the only person whose ever said anything like that to me." She pulled me into a tight hug.

"It's true Case." I hugged her back.

"Now that you mention it..Amanda is pretty attractive."

"Go for it girl." She smiled and pulled away.

"I might just. Speaking of going for it. How is your Cabot situation going?"

"It's.." Should I tell Casey? It's not like she doesn't know already. Now that I think of it she knew before I did. I trust Casey, I know for a fact she wouldn't tell a soul. "Going really well. In fact you're not gonna believe me when I tell you what happened."

She cocked her eyebrows at me clearly intrigued. "What happened?"

"I may or may not of spent my entire day with her yesterday, and I may or may not of kissed her." I smiled.

"Oh my god Liv! This is great oooo I knew it! So she likes you right?" I nodded and watched as Casey did a victory dance.

"Man I'm good. I knew she had the hots for you. So are you guys together or..?"

"No we're just friends, but it's nice to know the feeling is mutual between us."

"Wow I can't believe you kissed a teacher. No scratch that, I can't believe you kissed a math teacher! Wow." I shook my head and laughed at her shock.

"Yeah, but I can't stress that fact that you can't tell a soul enough Casey. It could ruin everything."

"You should know already I wouldn't tell anyone Liv. Like I said before your secret is safe with me." She assured.

"Good, well I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you Liv!"

...

"You don't know how badly I want my mom to leave already. She's driving me crazy Liv." I was currently wrapped up in a towel talking to Alex. I came home and took a much needed hot shower, and she had called right as I got out.

"What'd she do now?"

"She made me have lunch with Trevor today, she wanted us to 'work out our problems' and be happy again. I'm getting pretty sick of her trying to get me back with him." She sounded irritated.

"Why though? She knows what he tried having you do right?"

"Yeah, but she said he's proven himself to her. That he's a better man. Better man my ass..." I let out a laugh and then we were silent.

"I miss you Benson." She mumbled into the phone and I bit my lip trying to control my heart rate.

"I miss you too Al. Just a few more days. We'll survive." She let out a sound of longing.

"You wanna know why Trevor wanted to 'share' me? I find it so stupid. He would always brag how he had such a hot young fiancé to his friends. Apparently one of them said something along the lines of 'I'd only get a hottie like that if I paid $100 an hour' so that gave him the sick idea to get money off sharing me. I can't believe the nerve he has, trying to get me back." Rage boiled in my veins, and I swear if I ever see that man again I might just give him a piece of my mind.

"Why the hell is your mom trying to get you back with that creep?"

"His family is very wealthy, and my mom really cares about our family status. She thinks mixing the Cabot's with the Langan's we'd be more superior."

"That is ridiculous."

"Tell me about it, try telling her that." She groaned.

"I can't wait to see you this weekend Al."

"Me too, Liv. You have no idea."

We talked for about another hour before saying goodnight. I wanted nothing more than to just talk to her for the rest of the night, but I had school tomorrow.

I got dressed and laid down, and for some reason Jane slipped into my head.

I really want to make things better with her, but how am I suppose to do that when she just gets mad.

Maybe I really have lost her.

**Next update will be on Wednesday!**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN**: Can anyone say early update?

I feel so much better. I shouldn't have written that last chapter while I was so sick. I was tempted to go back and rewrite the whole thing, but then I decided I'd write a kickass chapter instead. This chapter is the perfect combination of fluff and conflict. I gotta say I'm pretty proud of it.

Thanks to anyone who reviewed/followed/faved!

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 16

The next two days went by agonizingly slow. I was expecting Jane to confront me again, but that didn't happen. If anything she wouldn't even look my way.

Alex and I came to the conclusion that we'd hang out after her mom and Trevor left on Saturday afternoon. I was really looking forward to it, but for some reason I had this feeling of doubt in the back of my head.

Doubt that we would be able to maintain a friendship knowing of each others feelings.

Doubt that this would really work out.

Yet, I don't want to give her up. I need Alex in my life, it's like whenever I'm near her I feel this searing pull. A pull that latches onto my heart and soul, but I just can't stop thinking about all the consequences that could come out of all this.

I wonder what she thinks about all this?

"Liv? Are you alright sweetie? You haven't touched your breakfast." My mom asked with concern.

"I'm fine ma, I'm just not that hungry." I shrugged.

You know what I've been noticing lately? Some days my mom looks like she's getting better but on other days she looks like she has the plaque. Today she looked fine, but you could tell something was off.

"You have any plans? It is Saturday you know. Go hang out with Jane or something." Oh how oblivious you are mother...

"I'm actually gonna be leaving around one-ish. Where are you going?" I noticed she was wearing a lawyer styled suit and actually had make up on.

"Oh I'm speaking at an English conference in the city. It's suppose to last all day so I might just stay at a hotel tonight and I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. You'll be alright by yourself right?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. You be safe alright?" I watched my moms features turn into a smile as she came over to hug me.

"I'll will. Don't worry. What are you doing today?" She asked as she released me.

"I actually don't know." I said honestly. Alex and I never really specified what we were doing today, we just wanted to be around each other.

"Hmm well whatever your gonna do make sure you be safe. I better get going. Love you Livvy." She kissed the top of my head before grabbing her bag.

"Love you too ma." I waved her off as she took her leave shutting the door behind her.

I went and plopped on the couch letting my mind wander.

Alex..Jane...Mom...basketball..Alex..

I can't seem to stop wondering why Alex is just so open with her feelings for me. Wouldn't you think she'd be as conflicted as I am?

Yeah, the connection is obviously there, but I can't help but think there's more to this. That the mystery that is Alex just got even more..mysterious. I'm not saying that Alex as a person is mysterious just what's inside her head you know?

In those silent moments, what's going threw her head?

I looked toward the clock in the kitchen and it was already a little past twelve.

Her moms flight should be taking off any minute now.

Getting up and going to my room I decided to take a quick shower before I got dressed for the day.

There's something about a hot shower that just calms the nerves, clears your mind.

While I was getting dressed, I noticed my phone was blinking.

Damn is Alex already here?

_Hey so we might not be able to hang out today. My stupid car decided it wanted to stop working on parkway road. My mom and Trevor missed their flight..): Now I'm stuck and my mom won't shut up. Ugh I'll call you when this is all sorted out. _

I read the message and my face instantly formed a frown. Great, seeing Alex was going to be the highlight of my weekend.

Well more like the highlight of everything...

I read over the text a few more times, and that's when an idea flashed into my head.

Parkway road hmm..

I quickly finished getting dressed before I grabbed my car keys and zoomed out my front door.

...

I got to parkway in what I'd like to say record time, with the perfect plan.

Alex's mom would most likely notice me from the school and question why I was there, and I'd tell her I was just driving and I noticed that Al..I mean Ms. Cabot was in need of some road side assistance. I'd help try to figure out what was wrong with her car to the best of my ability, and if her car ended up not working then I'd drive them to the airport, and help them book the next possible flight. Then bam Alex and I can spend the rest of the day together.

I'm a genius.

I drove down parkway looking for Alex's car, and that's when I spotted the blonde beauty leaning against her car parked off to the side, on her phone. I also noticed Trevor was looking under the hood with a confused, helpless look on his face, while Alex's mom was looking over him with a scowl.

Maybe this won't be as easy as I thought..

I slowed down and I noticed Alex look up and that's when our eyes met.

To say the least her expression was a mixture of shock, and relief. I saw her look over at her mother who had also noticed my slowing down behind their car and parking.

I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a calm breath before stepping out of my car.

"Hey Ms. Cabot need some help?" I smiled warmly at her trying to conceal my overly happiness of seeing her.

"Olivia, what a..surprise."

"Alexandra what is one of your students doing here? Is that who you called? A student? How on earth do you even have her number?" Isn't her mom just lovely?

"No mother, I called the car towing people. They said they can't make it here for another hour. Please relax." Alex said calmly keeping her cool.

"Well that still doesn't explain why she is here." The older woman pointed at me giving me a snobbish look.

"I happened to be driving by, now do you guys know what's wrong with the car?" I asked ignoring Alex's moms dirty looks.

"Nope I have no clue what's wrong. I looked over everything, and can't find the problem." Trevor said from under the hood.

"What kind of man doesn't know how to fix a car? Really I am very disappointed in you Trevor." I looked over at Alex who had her forehead in her hand and was rubbing her temples with her fingers.

"Here I'll just take a look at it." I offered going to the front of the car and inspecting the engine.

"What's a young girl like you know about cars?" I just rolled my eyes at the older Cabot woman, and looked over the engine.

Oh wow her pistons are completely worn out. How the hell did Trevor not notice that? Oh I know why..he's a fucking idiot.

I glanced up and noticed him putting his hand on Alex's arm saying something to her. I damn near growled with rage, but contained myself.

"The problem is your piston rings are completely worn out, which means air and fuel have leaked threw your engine."

"Which means?!" I quirked my eyebrow at the eldest Cabot woman and continued.

"It means that her compression system no longer works properly. As of right now her engine is completely useless." I looked at Alex expecting her expression to be one of irritation, but instead she was grinning at me. I felt my face get hot and quickly averted my eyes back down to the engine.

"Why couldn't you see that Trevor? You let some little girl out smart you! And to think you want me to give you a second chance at my daughter. News flash buddy that means you need to prove yourself."

"With all do respect Katherine, I have very little knowledge on cars."

"Get some then! No excuses."

I fidgeted with the pistons a little bit trying to see if they were loose when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I didn't know you knew about cars?" Alex stated smiling warmly at me.

"I don't really know much. Just what Larry used to show me when I was little." I shrugged.

"Well I'm happy you came to my rescue, to tell you the truth I wasn't expecting you too."

"Took you by surprise didn't I?" I smirked.

"It wouldn't be the first time." She mumbled in my ear, and I felt my body tense.

"Alexandra, since we missed our flight. We'll be staying a little longer than expected." I heard Alex groan next to me.

"Mother can't you just make a few phone calls? I'm sure you have enough connections to get you on a plane within the next twenty minutes."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No mother, I love having you around. But you being here really interferes with my work." Her mother made an exasperated sound and I clenched my fist.

I was getting sick of her attitude.

"Your work? What being a teacher? That's not getting you anywhere anyway. I don't know how many times I have to say that to you. When will you grow up hmm? Realize that you don't have time to be wasting on frivolous things." I watched as Alex took a deep breath, clearly biting her tongue. So I may have overstepped my boundaries in return..

"How dare you? Really? Al..Ms. Cabot has made a big difference not only as a teacher, but as a mentor and consoler. You should respect what your daughter is doing because she does a damn good job at it. And she happens to love what she does you need to let her make her own decisions and..." Alex put her hand on my arm making me stop, looking over at the older Cabot she had a look of complete disrespect and shock on her face.

"How dare I? How dare you?! Speaking to a Cabot in such a manner. What a naive child you are, ignorant to the world. I feel sorry for how misfortunate you are. Stupid child." I was about ready to get in her face when suddenly Alex slammed her hand down on her car.

"That's enough mother. How selfish can you be? Olivia clearly took the time out of her day to help us and that's how you repay her by insulting her?" Alex was fuming, I could of sworn I saw smoke coming out of her ears.

"I didn't ask her for her help now did I? What nerve you have Alexandra speaking to me like that! Clearly being around misfits all day is having a negative influence on you."

"No being around these 'misfits' actually brings me joy. Something you clearly don't give a fuck about. Ever since I was born you've been doing nothing but controlling every aspect of my life, and you know what mother? That ends today. I'm done letting you put your two sense in everything I do. I'm done. Now call someone who can get you a plane ticket out of here and out of my god damn hair. Oh and news flash mother I am never and I can't stress this enough EVER getting back with Trevor. I want nothing to do with him." Is it bad to say that angry Alex is the biggest turn on, on the planet?

Go Alex.

"Alexandra!.."

"Make your god damn calls."

Her mother just blinked a few times in disbelief and pulled out her cell while Trevor wore a look of shock and fear.

Alex let out a breath before looking back at me. "I'm sorry she said those things about you. Hopefully her eyes have been opened."

"Oh I'm sure their wide open now. I'm proud of you Al."

...

So after about an awkward twenty minute wait a limo pulled up in front of us, and Alex handed her mother her bags. Trevor damn near ran into the limo clearly wanting nothing more than to get the hell out of here.

"Whether you believe it or not Alexandra, your happiness has always been my main concern." The older woman stated before steeping into the car.

"No mother, your happiness has alway been your concern. You need to realize that." And with that Alex shut the car door and the limo driver drove off.

Alex went and sat on the edge of the side walk and let out a heavy sigh.

"How do you feel?" I asked sitting next to her.

"I feel.." She looked at me and then down at the street beneath her. "Like a heavy weight has been lifted off my chest. It's about damn time I gave her a piece of my mind. And you know what Liv? I probably would have never done that if it wasn't for you so..thank you" She leaned in and kissed my cheek, and it felt like an eruption took place inside my chest.

Friends kiss on the cheek right?

"It was my pleasure Al. She was pissing me off, and it takes a lot to piss me off."

"This really isn't how I imagined us spending our day.."

"I know. How long until the towing people get here?"

"Not for another thirty minutes if that." She groaned.

"Well lets go do something then." I said standing up and putting my hand out for her to take.

"Like what?" She took my hand and I pulled her up to me, our faces were just inches apart, and we both just looked away and blushed.

"Hmm there's a park across the way. I'm pretty sure we can see if the tow people get here from over there."

"Alright, lets go Benson."

We walked across the street to a cute little children's park with swings.

"I haven't swung since I was a little girl." Alex recelected, taking a seat on one of the swings. I sat on the swing next to hers, not really swinging, just kicking the rocks beneath me.

We fell into silence, and when I looked over at Alex I wondered what was flowing throw her head.

"Al, what are you thing about?"

"Honestly? Just a little bit of everything, but mostly our situation." She stated truthfully as she looked into my brown orbs.

"What about our situation? I stared into her blue eyes, losing myself a little.

"Just I never thought I'd catch feelings for a student you know? But then when I think about you being my student, I just don't see you as one. I try so hard not to think of all the risks we're taking, and now that I know we feel the same for each other. I feel like I'm missing out..I could have you right now if it wasn't for the fact that I'm your teacher." I listened to her speak, and I couldn't agree more.

"Well your also a little old.." I teased.

"Your such an ass." She joked making her swing hit mine.

"Excuse me that was very rude, please apologize to Mr. Swing or he'll be forced to press charges." She laughed and I felt my heart flutter.

We got quiet again, but it was a nice quiet,

"Al, do you think us being friends is going to work out?"

"I really want it too Liv, I love being around you, and this is going to sound weird but I feel like I need you. Like in some way you fill a piece of my puzzle you know?"

"A piece of your puzzle?" I laughed.

"Yeah, the puzzle being my metaphorical life."

"Hmm well your a piece of my puzzle to Al."

Soon we heard the tow truck coming and made our way back over to her car. The towing guy told Alex where her car was going to be worked on at and gave her the number to the engineer. We watched as he towed her car and drove off.

"Well looks like I'm car less." Alex stated leaning against my car.

"Would you like a ride home Ms. Cabot?"

"If it won't burden you too much yes." I felt like our flirtation level was at an all time high today,

Alex directed me to where her apartment was and I was surprised to find out her complex wasn't that far from mine.

"You live literlly two blocks from me. That's pretty cool." I said stopping infront of her complex.

"I'd say more like two and a half blocks but whatever." She shrugged and I rolled my eyes.

"Who's being the ass now?"

"That's no way to talk to your teacher young lady." She teased and I let out a hardy laugh.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Well I better get going. I'll call you alright?"

"Alright, please do. I'm gonna be bored out of my mind."

"I will." Alex smiled and I couldn't help but notice her move closer to me.

"Al..what are you doing?"

"I just..one kiss that's all and I'll be on my way."

"One kiss equals too risky." I stated tracing my finger over her lips.

"Just one.." It was so hard to deny her, in fact I didn't want to deny her. I slowy moved closer to her face trying to keep eye contact with her, but ended up staring at her lips.

"Liv.." She whispered my name and thats all it took for my lips to touch hers. The kiss started soft and subtle, but quickly turned into a passion filled kiss making my stomach do flips. I turned my head to the side giving myself more access to her lips letting her consume me.

We both knew this was wrong, but neither of us cared at the moment.

Would we care later? Yeah. But right now we just needed each other.

This time she was the first to pull away, but not before placing a few more pecks on my lips.

"Byee." She said her face flushed and her voice barely audible. I kissed her one last time before letting her go.

"Bye."

I watched her walk into her complex before driving off, my heart still racing from kissing her.

Damn this is going to be harder than I thought.

**So if I don't update by Thursay than I'll definitely update on Saturday!**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN**: Sorry about the late update! We had a really bad blizzard where I live and I haven't had power.

Oh if anyone wants to kidnap me that would be great cause I officially hate where I live with a firey burning passion.

Is it weird that I love snow shoveling? I get the best workout doing it. Upper and lower body it just makes you soooo sore.

Anyway that had nothing to do with anything lol

Hopefully updates will be on track now but no promises. I'll try really hard to get updates up on time!

Thanks to anyone who reviewed/faved/followed I love you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 17

Sunday came and went like a breeze. I had spent majority of it on the phone with Alex, and it felt like the more I heard her voice the more I fell under her spell.

I just loved how easy it was to talk to her, to joke around and just be myself.

We hadn't discussed our kiss..well kisses we shared the day prior, but I knew they wouldn't be our last.

In fact we didn't discuss the subject of "us" at all, and it made me wonder if that was going to become a routine for us.

When either of us felt that need, that need that tugged on us whenever we're around each other. Would we just act on it, and then go on with our life's?

How long would we be able to keep that up without it escalating?

My mom came home that afternoon. I had been on the couch talking to Alex when she came through the door. Of course my mom wondered who I was on the phone with, and I just said a friend.

I was expecting her to ask who, but she just went to her room and didn't come out until dinner time.

She's really starting to worry me, but like me..my mom doesn't like opening up about anything.

I felt a chill go up my spine as I waited for Alex outside her apartment complex. It was nearing closer to fall and that ment chilly mornings and warm afternoons.

Turning on my car heater I glanced up through the window and saw Alex walking towards my car. I smiled at how cheery she looked, the smile she wore was a genuine one, one that made you want to smile too.

Standing up to her mom really did her good.

We had arranged for me to drive and drop her off until she either got a new car or her old one started working again.

Was this risky? Yes.

Did we care? Yes.

But I guess these feelings were clouding not only my judgement but hers too. We just didn't know it yet.

"Hey, you're early." She greeted me as she got in.

"Better to be early than late I always say."

"I bet you were just anxious to see me."

"That too." I admitted running my fingers through my hair and looking at her. I watched as she analyzed my features and grinned.

"What?" I asked suddenly feeling self consious.

"Nothing, you're just..adorable is all." She shrugged and I felt my face light on fire.

"Adorable? Really what am I five?" I teased as I started our short journey to the school.

"Oh if you were five this would be an even worse situation." She laughed and I just rolled my eyes.

After that, the drive was fairly quiet. I would steal a glance at Alex every so often, feeling my heart melt a little each time.

Not only was she in a great mood, she looked gorgeous. Wearing a deep blue blouse that matched her eyes, and a white skirt that stopped just under her knees. Her blonde hair pinned half up, and a light layer of make up gracing her face.

I looked down at what I was wearing for a second, and compared the two.

I was wearing one of my old basketball shirts and some sweats with some of my favorite sneakers. I never really tried to look good at school, it's just a place I go to to get my education and then leave. Not a fashion show.

It made me wonder what Alex saw in me..In every way I was her opposite. The salt to her pepper, the peanut butter to her jelly.

Yet, here we are two complete opposites who have this weird pull to each other.

"So when we get to the school, lets try and park by the side doors and then we'll sneak in through there and go straight to my classroom alright?" I nodded and I felt her hand touch my arm.

"Are you okay Liv? You looked a little spacey there."

"Yeah I'm fine I was just thinking about something." I stated turning into the school.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked as I parked by the side doors of the school.

"It's nothing really Al." I shrugged grabbing my bag from the back seat.

"Was it about us?" I sighed and stared into her blue orbs. Did I really want to tell her about my insecurities when it came to even being around her?

Nope.

It did strike me as a surprise that she even brought up the 'us' topic. Whatever 'us' was anyway.

"Look lets just go inside." I put my hand on the handle and was about to open the car door when Alex grasped my arm.

"Liv, when are you going to stop shutting me out? You can talk to me. Especially if it's about me." She added and I just looked back at her.

"I'm just confused is all." I released the car handle and turned to her.

"Confused about what?" She looked at me intently taking my hand.

I glanced down at our hands, and admired how well they fit together. I looked back up into her eyes and felt any form of communication leave my body.

"Liv, come on. Talk to me." She pleaded gripping my hand tighter.

Instead of saying anything I just brought her hand closer to me. Putting it to my chest first before running her finger tips over my lips, placing a light kiss on her pointer finger.

I heard her breath hitch as I continued showing her affection, silently telling her what I was confused about with my actions.

"You..your confused about us? Aren't you?"

Bingo.

"Liv, I really want this to work, but we have to wait. I know me kissing you yesterday just made things more complicated and if anything we should be distancing ourselves from each other, but instead here we are in a car.." She rambled and I smiled placing her hand back in her lap and squinting my eyes at her.

"Al calm down. It's just it's hard just being your friend. Especially when all I want is.."

"All you want is..?" She had a grin on her face, clearly already knowing what I wanted to say.

"You." I said confidently.

"Wow you're such a romantic." She teased and I had to control the urge to roll my eyes.

"You know, some friends you know kiss.." She started, looking down at her hands.

"Yeah some do." I agreed.

"So there isn't really anything wrong with us stealing one here and there." She took my hand again and my heart just about exploded.

Did she want to kiss me right now?

"I guess." I said slowly, watching as she moved closer to me. I moved in a little closer too and stopped right when our noses touched.

"Al.."

"What? Friends do this." She said more to herself than me.

And right when our lips were centimeters apart I put my hand on her chest and stopped her.

"Maybe we should go inside now." I hated that I stopped her, in fact I wanted to punch myself in the face, but I knew it was for the best. We couldn't just keep kissing. It's either friendship or nothing right now.

"You're right." She said pulling away, a look of conflict clear as day on her face.

"Hey, Don't get all down now. You were in such a good mood earlier." I said getting out of the car, and walking to the doors. Alex followed behind me and just sighed.

"I wish I knew what has gotten into me lately. It's like my common sense button isn't working anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that, I should be the one stopping us from going too far not the one initiating it." She stated, unlocking her classroom door.

"Hey, temptation can be a bitch sometimes Al. And sometimes we accept temptation because we just don't want to fight it anymore. Temptation can either wreck us or bring us something we never thought we'd have a chance at. I tempt you, and I cloud your judgement, because for some crazy reason you like me, and I like you, and you're tempted to act on impulse and want. That only makes you human."

"Wow.." She said turning around to face me again. "It's just all my life everything has been controlled and known before it happened. And then you..you are the curve ball I needed in my life. And now that I know that it's possible for an 'us' and the fact that my want for you is growing by the second..that temptation is only so bearable you know?"

"Then.." I walked closer to her. "How about, when you feel that it's getting too unbearable. Act on it. But only if its unbearable alright? I need you in my life and I feel like if we got used to just kissing and touching that we'd get reckless and someone would see and then..in an instant this would all be over. We wouldn't even be able to be friends. You'd lose your job and I just don't want you to have to go through that because of me."

"Do you know how many times I've thought of that happening? And then what shocked me most is the fact that Iosing you scared me more than losing my job." I sat down at one of the desks, shocked.

"Damn why does this have to be so complicated?" I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath.

"How about we start going by..what happens, happens?" And for a moment that sounded like a great idea, but it was still risky.

Take a chance.

That's what I was going to do.

Take a chance.

I stood up and looked directly into Alex's eyes, and I think she knew what I was about to do.

"I tempt you just as much don't I?" She asked pulling me towards her.

"You do." And slowly our lips met. Her hands were resting on my cheeks and my arms were around her neck pulling her closer to me.

The fact that we were in the middle a classroom kissing striked me as ironic, but whatever.

This kiss was aggressive, full of want and need.

I turned my head to the side deepining the kiss, as one of her hands made its way to my hair. She let out a soft moan as she pulled away and pecked my lips a few times, leaving me breathless and hungry for more.

"We. Need. To. Stop." She said in between kisses and I just pecked her lips more.

"Goddamnit." She mumbled biting my lip. I groaned slightly feeling like a horny teenager..which I in fact was.

"Lets just try to get through these next two years without me getting arrested alright?" She mumbled against my lips placing one last chaste kiss upon my lips before turning towards her desk.

"What happens, happens."

...

"Today I'll be showing you guys a different way of looking at proofs.." Alex said as she began teaching. Whenever she was in her Ms. Cabot mode I felt like I was in some other universe, and Alex and I were just two unimportant blimps in each others worlds.

"God she is so fucking hot.." I heard a guy behind me whisper to his friend next to him, I had to fight the urge to rip his eyes out.

"Right? Man what I'd give to just have a go at her." I exhaled loudly and slammed my pencil down. Which gained the attention of..everyone.

"Jeez what's your deal Benson?"

"My deal is that you're a fucking creep and you need to shut the fuck up and pay attention to what Ms. Cabot is teaching not what she'd look like naked." I clenched my fist and glared at him.

"Olivia that's enough." Alex put her hand on my shoulder briefly, calming me down before going back to her lesson. Clearly wanting to avoid having to write me up.

"Really? That's all you're going to say to her? Did you not hear what she said to me? I say Ms. Psycho here needs to be written up." The guy stated.

"Hey, I'll show you psycho buddy. Now why don't you shut the fuck up and let it go." Jane said from across the room.

That was unexpected.

"Whatever bitc.."

"That's enough! If I hear another word that isn't math related come out of any of your mouths then I'm writing you all up. Understood?" Alex said sternly, teacherly even.

We all stayed quiet for the rest of the period, trying my best to pay attention to whatever Alex was teaching.

"Alright now I'll hand out a list of definitions, that should help you solve these proofs easier." She said going around the room.

When she reached me our eyes locked, and I saw her features turn into a grin. I cocked my eyebrow at her and she just placed the paper down on my desk and continued on to the next student.

She gave us time to start our homework, and ask her any questions if needed.

Looking down at the assignment I didn't know how to do any of it. I scanned over the definition sheet she gave us but that didn't seem to help.

Great.

So instead of working or even asking for help I just stared at the assignment until the bell rang.

"Olivia, can I have a word with you?" Alex asked as I was packing up my stuff.

"Yeah what's up Ms. Cabot?" I approached her desk.

"I don't appreciate you using such language in my classroom, and I'm afraid if it happens again you will be written up.." She looked around the room waiting for the last couple of students to leave.

"I'm sorry Ms. Cabot, but if you heard what those jerks were saying about you.."

"I understand that, but that is something for me to handle not you." She stated as the last student left the class.

"But I gotta say I love how protective you are Liv. It's pretty adorable." She grinned, breaking character.

"Oh my god not the adorable crap again." She let out a laugh and I just smiled.

"Have a good rest of the day alright? I'll see you at practice." She stood up walked me to the door.

"I'll see you later Al..oh I mean, have a nice day Ms. Cabot."

...

"Pass the ball Casey! If you know you can't do anything then pass it!" Abbie yelled from the bleachers her and Alex were sitting at.

We were currently playing a quick game to twelve and all we needed was one more basket and then we were done.

My shoes screeched as I L cutted out from the box and Casey passed me the ball. I quickly turned on my pivot foot and when I turned around Amanda was guarding me.

Now Amanda's specialty is guarding and defense. It's impossible to get past this girl.

I dribbled back getting a nice rhythm and saw that Sasha was open in the corner. So I quickly made a move to the hole but instead of going for a lay up I did an over head pass to Sasha, and with the speed of a cheetah Sasha made a lay up from the side.

"Well done Benson! That's what I call reading the court! You too Sash! Great stuff ladies! Alright now come over here and get your uniforms." We all jogged over to the bleacher.

"Our first game is two weeks from today, and I know for a fact you girls are ready. It's an away game sadly so we'll be taking the bus out to Beacon around noon. Bring food and that means healthy food not any junk. Bring lots of water and Ms. Cabot here will be going with us I think she's bringing some water for you guys." Alex nodded next to her as she continued.

"All in all I think you guys are going to do fanfreakingtastic and I'm very proud to call you my team. Go home get some rest and come to practice with clear heads tomorrow."

We all grabbed our uniforms and of course I grabbed my usual number ten jersey. The number isn't really symbolic in any way but it just makes me feel whole.

"I can't wait to beat Beacon man." Amanda said sitting down next to Alex, admiring her uniform.

"I heard they're really good this year girls, but I'm sure you'll give them a run for their money." Alex stated looking up at me and putting her hand out for my uniform.

"Number ten huh? Is that your lucky number Ms. Benson?"

"Nah, it's just the number she's always had." Casey said sitting down on the floor taking her shoes off.

"I see."

"So Ms. Cabot do you play basketball or?" Amanda asked curiously.

"No I don't actually. I'm not very good at it, I just know how to win."

"Really? So you never played?" Casey asked as I say down next to her and started taking my basketball shoes off.

"I tried playing, but that was a disaster. So I became a manager for my school's team and I helped make plays, and actually won state twice."

"Wow that's awesome. Ms. Carmichael was on the team right?"

"Yes, we actually met through basketball."

"Are you guys best friends?"

"Yes, we are. We've been through a lot." I watched as Alex's expression changed. Like she was reflecting back to something she didn't really want to.

"I met Liv here through basketball." Casey stated as she stood up.

"Oh we know that already." Amanda said rolling her eyes.

"Shut up Rollins. I'll see you later Ms. Cabot. Later Liv." Casey waved herself off.

"Who are you telling to shut up?!" Amanda followed behind her.

I watched them walk away before looking at Alex who had stood up and handed me my bag. I looked over her features and I could tell something was off.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked with concern slipping on my sneakers.

"You and Casey have quiet the history don't you?"

"Uh well yeah, but it's nothing now. What is this about?"

"It's just, the way she looks at you." I stood up and raised my eyebrows at her.

"Al.."

"I know it's stupid, but she's cute, athletic, and not to mention your age Liv. I can't help but feel.."

Was Alex worried about me wanting Casey?

"Whoa whoa whoa, that ship has sailed Al. You have nothing to worry about alright?" I glanced around before slipping my hand in hers.

"You're who I want Alex."

"She's just better for you is all, and whose to say how long we'll be able to keep this up? It's almost impossible for us to be friends."

"Can we just not worry about that right now?" I pleaded letting go of her hand.

"Liv.."

"How about I meet you in the car and we'll talk more alright?" I said handing her my keys.

"I have to finish putting the balls away, and I'll meet you out there."

"Alright."

I watched her walk off, sighing heavily before picking up the remaining balls.

I would of never thought Alex would be so..insecure. She should already know she has nothing to worry about.

Finishing up I grabbed my bag and made my way out to the car.

"Liv, can we talk?" I heard a voice from behind me right as I was about to walk out to the parking lot.

I already knew who it was, as I turned around.

"Talk about what Jane?"

**Next update will be on Wednesday..hopefully!**


	18. Chapter 18

**AN**: I'm alive! I am so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry for the late update!

The weather here is ridiculous. Between power outages, my schedule and sheer laziness I haven't had anytime to write! And when I do get time I'm completely exhausted. Maybe I should update on different days?..hmmm..

Jane is a little psycho in this chapter...I guess that's what love does to you lol

I guess this is a longish chapter

Thanks so much for reviewing/faving/following I really appreciate you guys and you motivate the hell out of me so thank you, thank you, thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order svu or it's characters

Chapter 18

_"Liv, can we talk?"_

Do you ever wonder why things are the way they are?

Or why something turns out a certain way?

Lately I have been a lot.

Like right now, being face to face with someone I used to call my best friend and wondering why?

Why, she had to fall for me..and outside waiting in my car was a woman I never thought I'd have a chance with. A woman. My teacher. Alex Cabot.

Who would've thought a beautiful, intelligent, funny, strong woman like that would want me?

You just never know how things could turn out.

Nothing is definite.

"I miss you Liv. So much and it's killing me. You can't tell me that it's not killing you too." Truthfully I missed Jane, and I wanted to make things better. I wanted things to go back to the way they were.

But we both know that's not going to happen.

I really wish I could have done something to prevent this from happening, but what? What could I have done?

"I miss you too Jane, but you need to understand that we won't ever happen. I love you like a sister, like my own flesh and blood. It just wouldn't be right." I said carefully, as I leaned against the wall behind me, looking out the window on the door. Wondering briefly about Alex before turning my attention back to Jane.

"We can try. Yeah it might be a little awkward at first, but Liv we can try!" Her voice was pleading as she stepped closer to me.

"No, we can't try..."

"We can't try because you won't give us a chance!"

"Jane how many times are we going to have this conversation? I've made it clear that I don't want to be with you like that. Please stop. I just want our friendship back." I was trying to get it through to her head.

Clearly she wasn't listening.

"There's somebody else isn't there?!" She shouted loudly.

"Can you calm down?"

"No I can't fucking calm down! Who is she huh? Casey?"

"Can you stop?! You know, I don't want to deal with this right now. I'll see you around Jane." I turned to the door, opening it and leaving Jane behind. It is always the same conversation, the same argument and I'm done.

I scanned the parking lot before making my way to the car. Alex was most likely wondering what was taking me so long.

"Liv! Wait!" Seriously?

"Jane.." I turned around and was shocked to see a running Jane throwing herself at me.

"What the hell?!" I let out as she slammed into me.

"Liv, I'm not going to give up. I promise I will never give up on you." She stated as I tried to balance her on her feet.

"Jane I.." And that's when it happened. Jane smashed her lips on mine, forcefully pulling me against her. My eyes widened with complete shock and it took me a few seconds to register what was happening and push her off. I pushed her a little harder than I intended and she went stumbling back a little. Her expression hurt.

"What the fuck Jane?!"

"You can't tell me you didn't feel that!" She yelled, and I clenched my fists with anger.

"I didn't feel anything! Jane..." I wanted to yell, I wanted to get it through to her that I didn't want her.

I wanted Alex.

Wait a minute...

Oh my god...did she just see that?

I glanced over my shoulder to where my car was parked. It was dark, but you could see Alex's silhouette faintly, and the light coming off her phone screen was visible.

Maybe there was a chance she didn't see.

"You know what? You need time to get over this Jane. And I'm going to give you that time. Go home."

"But Liv.."

"Go home Jane."

I felt like a jerk walking away from her. I felt like scum.

But what else could I have done?

I slowly walked to the car, and as I approached Alex looked up at me. Our eyes met, and just from that look alone...

I knew she saw.

Great.

I got into the drivers side and threw my bag in the back seat. I looked at Alex ready to explain what happened but she wouldn't look up at me. Instead she was playing some game on her phone.

"Al...look at me." I touched her shoulder and ran my hand down her arm, resting it on her forearm. My eyes were glued to hers but she wouldn't look at me. She just let out a sigh, putting her phone down and looked down at my hand.

"Casey is the least of my worries huh?" She mumbled gently pushing my hand away.

"I don't want you to have any worries Al. What you just saw was why Jane and I haven't been talking."

"Why didn't you tell me? Damnit Liv this is why you have to talk to me. We need to communicate. How are we going to make this work when, whenever I try to talk to you, you just shut down?"

"We've been over this already.."

"But there's more to it that you're not telling me. In fact that's how everything has been. You'll tell me bits and pieces and then drop it. No matter what the subject is you always do that. I don't know how many times I have to say it but you can talk to me Liv." Her voice turned sincere, finally looking me in the eyes.

"I know I can talk to you, it's just...look you don't need to worry about me ok?"

"Right. I don't need to worry about you. Can you just take me home please?" She said aggravated, as she turned in her seat and stared out the window.

"Al.." I tried but she didn't even look my way.

The drive to her apartment was quiet, and not our normal quiet. The air between us was tense, and I started wondering what exactly Alex was mad about.

Was she mad about the kiss?. Or about me not opening to her?

Or both?

I pulled up to the front of her complex and I heard her let out a heavy sigh.

"I care about you a lot Liv. And I know I may seem to be overreacting to you, but I'm not. In a relationship there's communication and trust and understanding, and I want you to be able to communicate, and trust me. I've never felt this way, and it's causing me to do and act ways I've never thought I would. I've broken down all my walls for you. Is it bad that I'd like the same in return?" She asked grasping my hand and was staring into my eyes.

"I thought we weren't in a relationship? What happened to whatever happens, happens?" Her eyes widened with shock and hurt was clear as day in her eyes.

Clearly I didn't say the right thing.

"You're right. Whatever happens, happens. And what's happening right now is I'm going to get out of this car and tomorrow I'm going to get a ride from Abbie and until you find the right words to say..." She stopped and let go of my hand. "Or you are ready to talk to me and I mean really talk to me, and realize that I'm your friend." I felt her slipping from me, my heart started aching. "I'll see you later Olivia."

Before I could tell her to stop she was gone. Taking my heart with her.

How do I always manage to screw things up?

I swallowed hard, gripping the steering wheel trying to fight back tears, everything that I've been holding back was trying to surface and I'll be damned if I let it.

I wasn't ready to.

I wasn't ready for a lot of things.

Alex being one of them.

I drove home and when I got there I went straight to my room leaving my sleeping mother on the couch and took a long hot shower. The water being so hot that it felt like my skin was melting off.

Let it melt.

After I got out I sent Alex an array of messages.

_Can we talk?_

_Alex please talk to me_

_I know I screwed up but please_

I just didn't know what to say. If this was any other situation I'd have the right words but when it came to fixing my own relationships I just can't ever find the right words.

If anything I screw things up more. Maybe letting Alex go is the right thing. Hey it's good we ended it before it escalated right?

Before we both really caught feelings.

How likely would it have been for us to last anyway? She's a successful teacher and I'm just a plain old student.

She can forget me right?

As much as it's going to kill me not having her around me as my friend..and somewhat lover she'll be better off.

Right?

_Goodnight Alex._

...

Two weeks.

No words had been exchanged, except for the ocassional teacherly speak. We've both caught each other stealing glances at the other but we simply fought off whatever it was going on inside our heads.

I desperately wanted to just make things better.

Two weeks, we've gone without making each other laugh, or smile.

Two weeks of agony.

What made matters worse was, Alex was my teacher and that ment I still had to see her everyday.

Do you know how hard it is to be near her? It's like before we had this irresistible pull to each other, and now it's even stronger. Every time I see her I just want to say 'lets work this out, now fucking kiss me.'

But I know better.

Ocassionaly during class while she's sitting at her desk I'd glance up and catch her staring at me. Of course she'd quickly turn her head away or pretend to be looking at some papers, but what she couldn't hide was that look. She'd always have the same look in her eyes that she had before she'd kiss me or that look she had on her face on our 'date'.

She was having just as hard of a time as me.

But it's for the best right?

During practice I had to try my best to pretend she wasn't even there. I made damn sure I never looked over at the bleachers.

Afterwords I'd quickly gather my stuff, say my goodbyes and then leave.

Abbie has been driving Alex around, and from what I hear Alex's car should be fixed within the next month.

Lately I've been wondering what Alex and Abbie's history really was. There's something more to their friendship than we all know..but what?

"Liv, hey snap out of it!" Amanda snapped from behind me, noticing my spaciness.

"Yeah, Liv come on you need a clear head for today. It's our first game and we gotta beat Beacon. There's no way I'm letting them win." Casey stated from beside her.

We were currently on the bus waiting to depart on our journey to Beacon high. Amanda and Casey were sitting in the seat behind me looking at me with concerned eyes.

"Don't worry we'll beat them." I shrugged leaning my head against the bus window.

"You know Liv, for the last two weeks you have been pretty distant. What's going on with you huh?" Amanda asked slipping into my seat.

"Distant? I have no clue what you're talking about."

"Bullshit Benson. You don't talk to anyone all day, you disappear during lunch, during practice you don't say anything. You haven't even been talking to Elliot have you?" Casey asked raising her eyebrows at me.

"Maybe I just want to be alone."

"Maybe there's something bothering you." Casey challenged and I just sighed.

"You haven't even smiled Liv. When's the last time you laughed huh?" Amanda probed.

"Look I'm fine. I just really want to play some ball right now and I don't need you guys trying to get in my head." I stated calmly yet agitated at the same time.

"Hey Rollins, can you go get the rest of the drinks from the gym?" Abbie asked as she got on the bus.

"Yea, sure thing coach." I watched as Amanda scurried off the bus and Alex stepped on. My heart damn near stopped when I saw her.

She had on a t-shirt that said coach cabot on the back with the number...ten?

Just like my jersey.

"How cute your woman is rocking your number." Casey said slipping into my seat wearing a huge grin.

"She's not my woman, and I'm sure it was just a coincidence." I mumbled.

"She's not? Wait is that what's wrong with you?"

"Look I really don't want to talk about it." I breathed, watching as Alex put her hair in a messy pony tail feeling my throat go dry.

"She has a date with Fin this weekend." I gave Casey a confused expression.

"Amanda I mean..Fin asked her out." She finished.

"Oh, damn Case." I flashed her sympathetic eyes and she just shrugged.

"It's whatever. After hanging out with her so much we've kinda become sisters anyway. It would be weird if we ended up together." I wish Jane would realize that.

"Yeah you guys act like sisters that's for sure." I laughed and Casey's eyes lit up.

"Hey you laughed!"

"Oh god please don't keep tabs on whenever I laugh and smile now." I pleaded and Casey just chuckled.

"I wasn't planning on it. You do need to smile more though."

"I guess."

"You know what I need in my life?" Casey said after a moment slouching down in her seat.

"What?"

"Excitement. You know? A game changer. A girl who will constantly keep me on my toes. A crazy, yet mellow girl. That's what I want."

"Well now I know what to get you for Christmas." I laughed as Casey sat up and slapped my arm playfully.

"I'm being serious Liv!"

"Yeah and all I want is a tall beautiful geometry teacher, but that's not gonna happen."

"You had her for a minute there. What happened? Wait let me guess! You shut her out? Wouldn't let her into that pretty little head of yours huh?" How the hell did she guess that?

"Maybe." I stated simply and Casey just laughed next to me.

"You'll never change Liv. You're clearly miserable without her so you know what that means? You need to be with her or at least be friends, whatever you guys were. Just learn to care a little less and love a little more." Casey wiggled her eyebrows.

"But her job and I just..."

"Liv, you care too much. And yeah that's a good thing but it's also biting you in the ass. You need to just go for it." I blinked a few times before I slowly nodded.

Maybe Casey was right.

"And maybe break a few walls down for her. I'm not saying tell her your whole life story I'm just saying, let her understand some of your scars. Let her understand what makes you, you. I promise you it will only make her love you more." Casey's green eyes were staring into my brown and I could feel the truth value coming off of her words.

Damn why is Casey so genuine.

"Thank you Case. Believe it or not I needed that." I hugged her close to me.

"No problem Liv. I told you I'm here for you. Shouldn't Elliot be the one giving you these speeches?" She asked as she returned my hug.

"Yeah, but lately he's been a little engulfed in his relationship, and I haven't even told him about any of this."

"Wow that's a surprise. Normally he's your go to guy."

"I've pushed him away more than anything."

"Typical Olivia." She shrugged. "He'll come around soon though. After the cute honeymoon phase of his relationship is over."

"Amanda hurry up! We're already running late!" Abbie yelled out the bus window.

"I'm comin!" The blonde dashed onto the bus with a few crates of Gatorade.

"Alright girls lets go whoop some Beacon ass! Uh I mean butt!" Abbie corrected looking at the scowling face of Alex.

Oh how I wish that face was scowling me.

...

The bus ride wasn't that long, only about an hour and a half. Yet Amanda and Casey still managed to fall asleep. It was kind of cute actually.

When the bus stopped I took a look back at them and Amanda was sprawled out across Casey's stomach and Casey's head was laying on Amanda's hip. It didn't look all that comfortable but I guess it was to them.

"Awe we should take a picture." Sasha said pulling out her phone and taking one. I just laughed before shaking them awake.

"Come on sleepy heads we got a game to win." They both groaned and rubbed their sleepy eyes untangling themselves.

"Lets go win!" Casey finally jumped up with a Burt's of energy.

We went to the locker room and got changed into our uniforms after being greeted by Beacon's coach.

Did I mention that he was trying to flirt with Alex?

My blood was boiling when he reached out to touch her arm.

Casey had to pull me along so we could do out warm-ups.

"Calm down Liv. She looked like she wanted to throw up on him anyway." Well that's reassuring.

"Alright ladies. Warm-ups are the same as they've always been. Game starts in twenty so get your heads in the game. Benson, Rollins, Alexander, Novak, Harmon you'll be starting. Then I'll switch out Isles, Paxton and Capshaw alright? This is strictly a varsity game our next game we'll be playing all three teams. Lets get a win tonight remember to communicate with each other. I'm so proud of you girls." Ms. Carmichael looked like a proud mother.

The other team came out and started their warm-ups and I heard Casey let out a snicker.

"This is going to be so much fun. I've missed this so much." She said grabbing a ball.

We started our warm-ups making two lines on each side of the court. One line with basketballs the other without, as we started our lay up warm-up. Then we did three man weaves for awhile before we ended our warm-ups with a quick defense drill.

We all had our heads in the game and were ready to win.

The gym slowly filled up during warm-ups and we now had a full house. Noises of random chatter filling the room.

As the buzzer went off we all jogged to the benches making a circle.

"Alright ladies if we get the ball were going to do Indiana as our offense if we don't get the ball then I want a two one two defense alright? Everybody knows the plays right?" Alex said as she drew out Indiana on the board just in case.

She really did know her basketball.

"If I get the ball, Liv is gonna pop out right?" Amanda asked for assurance.

"Yes. And if she's not open look to the opposite direction and Sasha should be open." The blonde nodded.

"Alright go win this girls. Remember don't be afraid to take it to the hole." Alex coached.

Nothing is more attractive than Alex speaking basketball talk.

"Have fun." Alex smiled and that's when our eyes met. And for the first time in two weeks neither of us turned away immediately.

The buzzer buzzed again pulling us out of our stare, and we made our way to the middle.

We decided on having Angie jump ball so she took center as the rest of us found a girl to guard.

The ref looked at us all before raising the ball in the air and blowing his whistle.

Our first game had begun.

**Have you guys ever had a crush on a teacher? I never did...but I did have the hots for my school nurse..lol I'll try and update on Saturday!**


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